I was preparing myself for
what I am, for what I'm meant to be.”
“Wow, that's
really profound. I wonder if other wolf-borne have the same
experience.” I look upward, losing myself in my own thoughts
about the psychology behind it.
“I've talked
about the dreams with my dad. He had them. There are others who still
have them even though they shift regularly.” Watching him,
hearing his voice resonate through me, is affecting me on a level
I've never known. The danger, the sadness in his eyes, the way he
looks at me all send a shock wave of unknown emotions through my
being. I want to understand him, help him, and run away from him all
at the same time.
“Difference is,
I'll never shift.” Our eyes lock for a moment pensively. It
goes through my mind that we are the same, but oh so different.
Somewhere deep in my soul, in his, I know we are having the same
thought. I can't help but say the words, “Because I'm a
hunter.”
“And I'm a wolf.”
He breaks his gaze from mine, turning his attention to the fireflies
in the yard. I get up and go to the edge of the porch, sit in the
chair facing outward, and rest my hands and head on the railing.
He's as captivated by
the glimmer as am I. The way they call out with their light to find
the perfect mate. The poetry in this nature is something I envy; for
them, it's simple. Find the unequaled light that speaks to your soul,
go to it, love it, be one with the light creating a beautiful
blinding spark of life together. Simple.
Cole leans forward on
the railing, resting his chin on his arms and still looking out. “It is that simple, you know.”
“For them.”
The sadness in my tone seems to dim the fireflies' light.
“For everyone.”
He turns his head toward me. “For us.”
Our eyes lock again,
our elbows are nearly touching, and the intensity of it sets
something on fire in me that I didn't know was there. I have to put
some distance between us by going to the stairs and sitting on the
bottom step.
He follows me, but sits
on the top step, maintaining a safe distance. I look over my shoulder
to watch him. Something sparks a memory I can't quite recall. It
makes me feel uneasy, so I shake it off and go back to watching the
light show.
“Wanna go for a
run?” he asks with a devil's edge in his voice.
“I do.”
Excitement broils me from the inside. I hear the sound of him sliding
his cowboy boots off and unbuckling his belt. I'm careful not to turn
around.
“Hey, can you
carry my jeans? I don't want to offend your sensibilities if I get
the urge to shift back while we're out there.”
“Do I have to
carry your boots?” I'm reticent to be too weighted down. He
brings out the competitor in me.
“Nah, just my
pants.” He throws them and they land on the step next to me. I
grab my backpack off the porch and stuff them in. I tighten the laces
on my boots and get ready to fly.
A low, playful growl
emits from behind me. I turn and I'm face to face with Cole in wolf
form. I do this to all the boys and I can't resist doing it now. I
take his face in my hands and scratch under his chin and work my way
around to behind his ears. His eyes are reduced to slits from
pleasure and he starts patting his hind leg on the porch. I look at
him with a big, silly grin on my face. I love spending time with the
wolves. It makes me feel happy, alive.
Cole lurches forward
and licks from my chin to my forehead. There's wolf slobber all over
my face. “Oh, that's so gross and totally unacceptable.”
He tilts his head to
the side and I swear I can hear his voice say, “Oh well,
darlin.'”
I take two steps
backward, swinging the backpack over my shoulder. “You're it!”
I take off running and look back to see him cock his head to the side
before he leaps off the porch.
Feeling his power
surging through me as we run effortlessly through the moonlight is an
adrenaline rush like no other. This feeling is better than any drug,
drink, or any other high. Not music, light, dark,
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