Read Online Monsoon Season by Katie O’Rourke - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Katie O’Rourke
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Boston the next morning. The urge to go home was even stronger than the urge to flee had been a year before. Logically, I knew this wasn’t a problem geography could solve, but it felt like the safest place to start.
I was sitting on the end of the dock, dangling my bare feet over the edge. It had rained a lot this spring and the water was cool on my ankles and calves. Gracie had grown tired of chasing her tennis ball and left it floating just beyond my reach. She waded back and forth in the shallow water nearby, occasionally jumping at a fish.
I heard the screen door slam and my mother’s footsteps fell softly behind me.
‘I didn’t think sunsets impressed you,’ she said, sitting beside me and swinging her legs over the edge of the dock. She was nearly always barefoot in summer. The soles of her feet were like leather. Mine were so tender I couldn’t cross the lawn without shoes on.
‘Yeah, seen one, seen ’em all,’ I said, quoting myself.
‘There aren’t really enough clouds to make a real pretty one.’ She sighed, squinting into the distance.
We sat there quietly for a moment. I swished my feet back and forth in the water.
‘She ever catch anything?’ I asked, nodding toward Gracie.
‘Nope.’ She chuckled. ‘But it doesn’t stop her trying. She’s an eternal optimist.’
‘Or just a really slow learner,’ I suggested.
‘Or that.’
We were quiet again. I wondered if it was a comfortable silence or not.
‘So, are you planning on telling me what’s really going on?’ she asked finally.
I kept looking at my feet in the water. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Okay.’
I held my breath for a while. I didn’t want to cry. ‘Things just didn’t really work out for me in Tucson.’
‘Okay. I’m sorry about that.’
‘I’m not going back.’ It was a little scary to say it out loud. As if that might make it true. As if it had suddenly been decided.
‘Is it about Ben?’
‘I don’t really want to talk about it.’
‘Okay.’ She had learned from experience that to push me was to risk an attack. It hurt to know that I had done this to her, to us. And yet I was grateful for it. It meant I didn’t have to lie.
‘I don’t really have it all figured out yet. I thought maybe I could stay here for a while.’
‘Of course you can.’ She put her arm around my shoulders. ‘Dad and I are leaving in a couple of days.’ My parents spent two weeks in Hawaii every summer. My mother passed her time on the beach, getting brown, or shopping for trinkets in the touristy shops near the hotel. My father went hiking and snorkelling and off-roading. They came home with photos of sailboats, lush hillsides, rainbows. Occasionally a waiter was enlisted to take their picture at dinner. ‘It would be a big help to have someone here to watch Gracie while we’re away,’ she said.
I knew that she must have already asked someone to watch Gracie. I knew I wasn’t really doing her a favour, but it was just like her to try to make me feel like I was.
I leaned my head on her shoulder and we watched the sun dip into the water.
PART TWO
TERESA
She locked herself in the upstairs bathroom and watched from the window until Ben got into his car and drove away. In the full-length mirror on the back of the door, she saw a woman cowering in a corner, hugging her ribs as if they needed holding in. Without her glasses, it could have been the younger version of herself, who had spent so many years cowering. More than a decade.
Teresa straightened up and crossed to the linen closet where she found a washcloth. She turned the faucet on, lukewarm water spilling onto the terry, and glanced up. In this mirror, when she looked closely, the years caught up. Her eyeliner was smudged into the fine lines she slathered with cream each night. The beauty industry made careful claims to reduce the
appearance
of wrinkles.
Translation? They’ll help lull you into the fantasy that it’s making a difference. For $19.95.
She
I was sitting on the end of the dock, dangling my bare feet over the edge. It had rained a lot this spring and the water was cool on my ankles and calves. Gracie had grown tired of chasing her tennis ball and left it floating just beyond my reach. She waded back and forth in the shallow water nearby, occasionally jumping at a fish.
I heard the screen door slam and my mother’s footsteps fell softly behind me.
‘I didn’t think sunsets impressed you,’ she said, sitting beside me and swinging her legs over the edge of the dock. She was nearly always barefoot in summer. The soles of her feet were like leather. Mine were so tender I couldn’t cross the lawn without shoes on.
‘Yeah, seen one, seen ’em all,’ I said, quoting myself.
‘There aren’t really enough clouds to make a real pretty one.’ She sighed, squinting into the distance.
We sat there quietly for a moment. I swished my feet back and forth in the water.
‘She ever catch anything?’ I asked, nodding toward Gracie.
‘Nope.’ She chuckled. ‘But it doesn’t stop her trying. She’s an eternal optimist.’
‘Or just a really slow learner,’ I suggested.
‘Or that.’
We were quiet again. I wondered if it was a comfortable silence or not.
‘So, are you planning on telling me what’s really going on?’ she asked finally.
I kept looking at my feet in the water. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Okay.’
I held my breath for a while. I didn’t want to cry. ‘Things just didn’t really work out for me in Tucson.’
‘Okay. I’m sorry about that.’
‘I’m not going back.’ It was a little scary to say it out loud. As if that might make it true. As if it had suddenly been decided.
‘Is it about Ben?’
‘I don’t really want to talk about it.’
‘Okay.’ She had learned from experience that to push me was to risk an attack. It hurt to know that I had done this to her, to us. And yet I was grateful for it. It meant I didn’t have to lie.
‘I don’t really have it all figured out yet. I thought maybe I could stay here for a while.’
‘Of course you can.’ She put her arm around my shoulders. ‘Dad and I are leaving in a couple of days.’ My parents spent two weeks in Hawaii every summer. My mother passed her time on the beach, getting brown, or shopping for trinkets in the touristy shops near the hotel. My father went hiking and snorkelling and off-roading. They came home with photos of sailboats, lush hillsides, rainbows. Occasionally a waiter was enlisted to take their picture at dinner. ‘It would be a big help to have someone here to watch Gracie while we’re away,’ she said.
I knew that she must have already asked someone to watch Gracie. I knew I wasn’t really doing her a favour, but it was just like her to try to make me feel like I was.
I leaned my head on her shoulder and we watched the sun dip into the water.
PART TWO
TERESA
She locked herself in the upstairs bathroom and watched from the window until Ben got into his car and drove away. In the full-length mirror on the back of the door, she saw a woman cowering in a corner, hugging her ribs as if they needed holding in. Without her glasses, it could have been the younger version of herself, who had spent so many years cowering. More than a decade.
Teresa straightened up and crossed to the linen closet where she found a washcloth. She turned the faucet on, lukewarm water spilling onto the terry, and glanced up. In this mirror, when she looked closely, the years caught up. Her eyeliner was smudged into the fine lines she slathered with cream each night. The beauty industry made careful claims to reduce the
appearance
of wrinkles.
Translation? They’ll help lull you into the fantasy that it’s making a difference. For $19.95.
She
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