before you apply, and I think that helps your chances. I guess they sort of assess them that way.”
“Is your daughter very verbal? Because I don’t think Jacob is and I feel that could hurt Emily’s chances too. Not that I would want to separate them. But I worry -” she stopped herself. “Do they test them on colors? Jacob definitely doesn’t know his. And do you think they’ll check references?”
“References?”
“You know, like, will they call my day care? I mean that seems a bit biased for day care kids. Who can they call for the stay-at-home kids? Their mothers? Well, their mothers or their nannies aren’t going to tell the truth about their character. They would brush things under the rug, don’t you think?”
She had completely me lost me at references. I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say. I wanted to get paid and get out.
I smiled. Claudia looked at me awkwardly.
“Is there a secret you think to getting in?”
“I don’t know. Julissa can be pretty charming. I don’t know if that helped her. ”
“Hmm,” Claudia nodded and looked at her kids. And I regretted saying anything about Julissa, because I saw on Claudia’s face disappointment in her children and it disturbed me. I wanted out.
“So thanks for the iced tea. I should probably go get the kids.”
“Of course. Do I give you half now? Is that how it works?”
“That would be great,” I said.
“A check is okay,” she said, pulling one already signed out of her pocket.
“Perfect,” I said, taking it from her. “Thanks. I should be able to send you a link to the selects in a couple of days.”
“Great,” Claudia said. She hesitated, looking at her hands. “Could I call you if I have any other questions about Brookese.”
“Of course,” I said. What was I getting myself into?
She glanced behind me towards the house with the crying baby. “I feel guilty now. I guess I should have gone over there with a pie or something.”
I think Claudia wanted me to absolve her and I was about to, but we heard the shrill scream of a woman on the edge of a breakdown through the neighbor’s window. “Will you stop fucking looking at me?”
Chapter 5
Ruth is Completely Misunderstood
They have the wrong idea and they won’t go away.
Two women are standing at my door with two children trying to peer behind me into my apartment. I want to call the cops. I suspect they want to call the cops. Do I look an abuser? Sometimes, I may feel like one, but the idea that these women are here to protect a baby, my baby, makes me want to cry. I don’t need this. Not today.
“We just wanted to make sure everything was okay,” says the younger one, the one with high, full breasts I will never ever have again.
“Everything’s fine,” I say. But it isn’t. I can hear Abe starting to wake up in the nursery. I moved the bouncy seat in there because he was refusing to go down in the bassinet. I bounced that baby until he finally nodded off. Now these bitches woke him up with the doorbell.
“That’s the baby?” the older one asks. I recognize her. She’s my neighbor; I have stared out the window at her on a few occasions. I watched her come and go while I was always stuck in the house. She was always rushing. As usual, there was not a hair out of place in her Anna Wintour bob and she craned her neck to see behind me.
“Yeah, that’s the baby,” I say. I am teetering on the edge. So tired. My eyes are heavy. “He was finally asleep until the bell rang. You woke him.”
“We’re sorry,” Full Breasts says, she actually caresses one of her perfect breasts or maybe I am hallucinating. Maybe this whole thing is a hallucination. “It’s just that we heard someone yelling and we were concerned.”
“We also heard the baby crying a lot,” BobCut Neighbor says. Her voice is accusing.
“Well.” I am going to deny it, but somehow I know they won’t go for that. I stand before them in one of Steve’s wifebeaters, which is
“Is your daughter very verbal? Because I don’t think Jacob is and I feel that could hurt Emily’s chances too. Not that I would want to separate them. But I worry -” she stopped herself. “Do they test them on colors? Jacob definitely doesn’t know his. And do you think they’ll check references?”
“References?”
“You know, like, will they call my day care? I mean that seems a bit biased for day care kids. Who can they call for the stay-at-home kids? Their mothers? Well, their mothers or their nannies aren’t going to tell the truth about their character. They would brush things under the rug, don’t you think?”
She had completely me lost me at references. I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say. I wanted to get paid and get out.
I smiled. Claudia looked at me awkwardly.
“Is there a secret you think to getting in?”
“I don’t know. Julissa can be pretty charming. I don’t know if that helped her. ”
“Hmm,” Claudia nodded and looked at her kids. And I regretted saying anything about Julissa, because I saw on Claudia’s face disappointment in her children and it disturbed me. I wanted out.
“So thanks for the iced tea. I should probably go get the kids.”
“Of course. Do I give you half now? Is that how it works?”
“That would be great,” I said.
“A check is okay,” she said, pulling one already signed out of her pocket.
“Perfect,” I said, taking it from her. “Thanks. I should be able to send you a link to the selects in a couple of days.”
“Great,” Claudia said. She hesitated, looking at her hands. “Could I call you if I have any other questions about Brookese.”
“Of course,” I said. What was I getting myself into?
She glanced behind me towards the house with the crying baby. “I feel guilty now. I guess I should have gone over there with a pie or something.”
I think Claudia wanted me to absolve her and I was about to, but we heard the shrill scream of a woman on the edge of a breakdown through the neighbor’s window. “Will you stop fucking looking at me?”
Chapter 5
Ruth is Completely Misunderstood
They have the wrong idea and they won’t go away.
Two women are standing at my door with two children trying to peer behind me into my apartment. I want to call the cops. I suspect they want to call the cops. Do I look an abuser? Sometimes, I may feel like one, but the idea that these women are here to protect a baby, my baby, makes me want to cry. I don’t need this. Not today.
“We just wanted to make sure everything was okay,” says the younger one, the one with high, full breasts I will never ever have again.
“Everything’s fine,” I say. But it isn’t. I can hear Abe starting to wake up in the nursery. I moved the bouncy seat in there because he was refusing to go down in the bassinet. I bounced that baby until he finally nodded off. Now these bitches woke him up with the doorbell.
“That’s the baby?” the older one asks. I recognize her. She’s my neighbor; I have stared out the window at her on a few occasions. I watched her come and go while I was always stuck in the house. She was always rushing. As usual, there was not a hair out of place in her Anna Wintour bob and she craned her neck to see behind me.
“Yeah, that’s the baby,” I say. I am teetering on the edge. So tired. My eyes are heavy. “He was finally asleep until the bell rang. You woke him.”
“We’re sorry,” Full Breasts says, she actually caresses one of her perfect breasts or maybe I am hallucinating. Maybe this whole thing is a hallucination. “It’s just that we heard someone yelling and we were concerned.”
“We also heard the baby crying a lot,” BobCut Neighbor says. Her voice is accusing.
“Well.” I am going to deny it, but somehow I know they won’t go for that. I stand before them in one of Steve’s wifebeaters, which is
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