seemed to pause for an extended amount of time by my desk. I hurriedly began working on my quiz.
2150—Venus Aldrin hired by the Project
2157—Venus Aldrin creates Search and Rescue Department after third-generation Mercury probe is lost
2162—Venus Aldrin eats a sandwich
2163—Venus Aldrin takes a nap
Finally I heard Mrs. H’s green shoes click forward to Larc’s desk. She leaned over to Larc and said, “I know this is probably very simple for you, honey, but just play along. I’ll add something challenging to your presentation assignment.”
Honey?
“Okay, Aunt Beebo. I’m excited to see what you’ve chosen for me to research!” Larc whispered enthusiastically.
Aunt Beebo?
Oh, holy mother of donkeys. Mrs. Halebopp was Larc’s aunt!
I practically fell out of my desk. Mrs. H turned around and looked at me with a grimace.
“I, uh …” I swallowed. “I’m feeling very, suddenly,tremendously like I’m going to spew chunks. Please, may I be excused?”
Mrs. H grunted. “It’s coming out of your quiz time.”
“Fine.” I scrambled to my feet and bolted out the door. I saw a men’s restroom and staggered inside. At the sinks I splashed cold water on my face and looked into the mirror.
I ducked into a stall at the farthest end of the rest-room and plucked the peapod from my pocket. “Mrs. H is Larc’s aunt,” I said to myself in disbelief. “I have
got
to talk to Stinky.”
“That is not just fishy, Mike. That is
funkified
fishy.”
Stinky’s voice was crackly through the peapod as I relayed all the morning’s craziness.
“Am I a nutbar to think something bizarre is going on? Am I turning into a conspiracy freak or something?”
“It definitely sounds like something weird is happening, Mike. I’m not sure about the escape pod, but the Mrs. H thing is definitely bizarro. And that Sugar Bear guy?
He’s
the nutbar.”
“I know! I don’t know what that guy is up to. And Mrs. H! She doesn’t even work at the Project and suddenly she’s a teacher on board
my
ship? She has a mystery niece who’s our age but never came to school? That’s deep-sea fishy.”
“Do you think you can find out what’s up with her?” Stinky asked.
“Who? Mrs. H? How can I find anything out? Good grief, at this point she probably has my brain waves downloading into her handheld.”
Stinky made an exasperated noise that sounded like a balloon deflating. “You’re the one on the ship with her, doof. What am
I
supposed to do?”
“Dude. That’s exactly right.
I’m on a ship.
How am I supposed to snoop around and find out why Mrs. H is here? It’s not like I can fake my eyeball scan and bust into her apartment or anything.” But as I said that, I wondered if finding out more about Mrs. H would be as hard as I thought.
“What if you ask the kids at school if they’ve ever heard of this Larc girl, Stink? She had to have left her house at some point,” I said. “Maybe kids at the library know her or something.”
“I’ll ask around, but I can’t promise I’ll come up with anything,” Stinky said unconvincingly. “And I’m not talking to any
teachers
, that’s for sure.” He paused. “What’s Larc’s last name, anyway?”
“I don’t know, man. Probably Halebopp. I mean, the girl is on the ship with her dad, who’s pretty tall and ugly, so he’s probably Mrs. H’s brother.” I shivered to even think about that vile woman having relatives.
“What about Larc’s mom?” Stinky asked.
“She said she doesn’t have a mom.”
We were both quiet for a few seconds and suddenly it was as if angels from Uranus had sent me a vision. I let out a bwa-ha-ha-ha-I-have-a-plan laugh. “I have a brilliant idea, Stinky!”
“What?” he asked slowly.
“Detention!”
“What do you mean ‘detention’?”
“You can cause trouble in class—throw a flashnobang or something. That’ll get you a detention for sure. Then, if you get lucky, you’ll have to e-file papers and stuff in
2150—Venus Aldrin hired by the Project
2157—Venus Aldrin creates Search and Rescue Department after third-generation Mercury probe is lost
2162—Venus Aldrin eats a sandwich
2163—Venus Aldrin takes a nap
Finally I heard Mrs. H’s green shoes click forward to Larc’s desk. She leaned over to Larc and said, “I know this is probably very simple for you, honey, but just play along. I’ll add something challenging to your presentation assignment.”
Honey?
“Okay, Aunt Beebo. I’m excited to see what you’ve chosen for me to research!” Larc whispered enthusiastically.
Aunt Beebo?
Oh, holy mother of donkeys. Mrs. Halebopp was Larc’s aunt!
I practically fell out of my desk. Mrs. H turned around and looked at me with a grimace.
“I, uh …” I swallowed. “I’m feeling very, suddenly,tremendously like I’m going to spew chunks. Please, may I be excused?”
Mrs. H grunted. “It’s coming out of your quiz time.”
“Fine.” I scrambled to my feet and bolted out the door. I saw a men’s restroom and staggered inside. At the sinks I splashed cold water on my face and looked into the mirror.
I ducked into a stall at the farthest end of the rest-room and plucked the peapod from my pocket. “Mrs. H is Larc’s aunt,” I said to myself in disbelief. “I have
got
to talk to Stinky.”
“That is not just fishy, Mike. That is
funkified
fishy.”
Stinky’s voice was crackly through the peapod as I relayed all the morning’s craziness.
“Am I a nutbar to think something bizarre is going on? Am I turning into a conspiracy freak or something?”
“It definitely sounds like something weird is happening, Mike. I’m not sure about the escape pod, but the Mrs. H thing is definitely bizarro. And that Sugar Bear guy?
He’s
the nutbar.”
“I know! I don’t know what that guy is up to. And Mrs. H! She doesn’t even work at the Project and suddenly she’s a teacher on board
my
ship? She has a mystery niece who’s our age but never came to school? That’s deep-sea fishy.”
“Do you think you can find out what’s up with her?” Stinky asked.
“Who? Mrs. H? How can I find anything out? Good grief, at this point she probably has my brain waves downloading into her handheld.”
Stinky made an exasperated noise that sounded like a balloon deflating. “You’re the one on the ship with her, doof. What am
I
supposed to do?”
“Dude. That’s exactly right.
I’m on a ship.
How am I supposed to snoop around and find out why Mrs. H is here? It’s not like I can fake my eyeball scan and bust into her apartment or anything.” But as I said that, I wondered if finding out more about Mrs. H would be as hard as I thought.
“What if you ask the kids at school if they’ve ever heard of this Larc girl, Stink? She had to have left her house at some point,” I said. “Maybe kids at the library know her or something.”
“I’ll ask around, but I can’t promise I’ll come up with anything,” Stinky said unconvincingly. “And I’m not talking to any
teachers
, that’s for sure.” He paused. “What’s Larc’s last name, anyway?”
“I don’t know, man. Probably Halebopp. I mean, the girl is on the ship with her dad, who’s pretty tall and ugly, so he’s probably Mrs. H’s brother.” I shivered to even think about that vile woman having relatives.
“What about Larc’s mom?” Stinky asked.
“She said she doesn’t have a mom.”
We were both quiet for a few seconds and suddenly it was as if angels from Uranus had sent me a vision. I let out a bwa-ha-ha-ha-I-have-a-plan laugh. “I have a brilliant idea, Stinky!”
“What?” he asked slowly.
“Detention!”
“What do you mean ‘detention’?”
“You can cause trouble in class—throw a flashnobang or something. That’ll get you a detention for sure. Then, if you get lucky, you’ll have to e-file papers and stuff in
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