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Authors: Julia Kent
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eel .”
Liam and Sam just looked at him but didn’t say anything.
“Who wants to count it?” I asked.
“Amy, you guys have surgical gloves? I don’t want to touch that money without protection.”
“ I t’s not like you need to wear a condom, Charlotte,” I said.
She eyed the money with suspicion. “Might need a bag of penicillin after touching that.”
“O h , for fuck’s sake,” Darla announced, reaching for a pile. She pe e led off a twenty and held it up to the light. I t looked like it had been soaked in grease.
“Wow. It’s like Madge deep fried it in the fryer at Jeddy’s.”
“Maybe she did.” I caught Trevor’s eye. “She’ s the type to go to a party like that .”
“She’s not a church organist,” Trevor said, laughing.
“She is a dominatrix, though,” Darla added, as if that were a common thing to say abut someone.
We all stared at her.
“What? She’s dating Alex’s grandpa. I am privy to way more information about her sex life tha n I ever wanted to know. Those old coots tie each other up and this one time, Alex had to go over there and rescue them because it turns out Ed knows how to make these super good Navy knots, and—”
“I think I’m going to be sick again,” Sam groaned.
“Sorry about the sushi,” Darla said.
“No. Not the sushi. Madge’s sex life.”
“Poor Alex,” I muttered.
Darla and Amy exchanged an inscrut a ble look and Amy mumbled something that sounded like, “You don’t know the half of it.”
Sam snickered, then halted abruptly, looking like Ron Weasley after he ate vomit-flavored jelly beans.
Charlotte overcame her squeamishness and between her and Darla, the total was counted quickly.
“Five thousand, nine-hundred and forty-seven dollars.”
“And fifty-seven cents,” Trevor added, tossing coins onto the table.
“Someone tipped you in c oins ?”
“I found it in my g-string.” H e cupped his package.
I shuddered.
“ And you get another grand each from Louise,” Liam said in a tone of wonder. “I can’t believe we missed out on this, Sam!” The two looked at each other with expressions of marvel.
“Imagine how much more they could have made if they’d actually had sex?” Amy pondered.
D arla turned on her, the nights rage needing to be bomb-dropped on someone. “You offering up Sam for the next time?”
Amy recoiled. “No! God, no.”
“Then don’t think my guys are doin’ it, neither.”
“So you’ll each get about four grand,” I said, fighting my own emotions on the inside. I knew Trevor was right. T he money should go to them. And yet...
“That’s not fair,” Sam croaked out.
Liam nodded. “This is way too much money for us to just keep. Even my grinchy little heart says so.”
Charlotte rubbed his shoulders and whispered something in his ear. He laughed, then closed his eyes, sobering as he rubbed his bare stomach.
“How about we split it all four ways? Almost two grand each?”
Sam made a face of consideration, then nodded. “That’s still more than we would have made if we’d done the actual work, right Liam?”
“Right.”
“ And I think, given the, uh...story we’re hearing, that you guys could use a little compensation for your troubles,” Liam added.
“I could use a little Novocaine for my ass,” Trevor said. “But two grand will definitely help to mute the pain.”
C harlotte began counting out the money into four piles as Darla sat quietly, just staring out into space.
Amy tapped away on her tablet and then slid the screen onto an open spot on the coffee table. “Those church organists are wilder than librarians, and I thought we were a crazy bunch.”
A picture of me in my candy cane g-string, my ass the width of the screen, greeted us all.
“ What the hell?” I yipped.
“That’s on my mother’s Facebook page,” Amy said.
“Your mother is a church organist?” Darla asked, coming out of her haze.
Amy shot her a sour look. “No. But
Liam and Sam just looked at him but didn’t say anything.
“Who wants to count it?” I asked.
“Amy, you guys have surgical gloves? I don’t want to touch that money without protection.”
“ I t’s not like you need to wear a condom, Charlotte,” I said.
She eyed the money with suspicion. “Might need a bag of penicillin after touching that.”
“O h , for fuck’s sake,” Darla announced, reaching for a pile. She pe e led off a twenty and held it up to the light. I t looked like it had been soaked in grease.
“Wow. It’s like Madge deep fried it in the fryer at Jeddy’s.”
“Maybe she did.” I caught Trevor’s eye. “She’ s the type to go to a party like that .”
“She’s not a church organist,” Trevor said, laughing.
“She is a dominatrix, though,” Darla added, as if that were a common thing to say abut someone.
We all stared at her.
“What? She’s dating Alex’s grandpa. I am privy to way more information about her sex life tha n I ever wanted to know. Those old coots tie each other up and this one time, Alex had to go over there and rescue them because it turns out Ed knows how to make these super good Navy knots, and—”
“I think I’m going to be sick again,” Sam groaned.
“Sorry about the sushi,” Darla said.
“No. Not the sushi. Madge’s sex life.”
“Poor Alex,” I muttered.
Darla and Amy exchanged an inscrut a ble look and Amy mumbled something that sounded like, “You don’t know the half of it.”
Sam snickered, then halted abruptly, looking like Ron Weasley after he ate vomit-flavored jelly beans.
Charlotte overcame her squeamishness and between her and Darla, the total was counted quickly.
“Five thousand, nine-hundred and forty-seven dollars.”
“And fifty-seven cents,” Trevor added, tossing coins onto the table.
“Someone tipped you in c oins ?”
“I found it in my g-string.” H e cupped his package.
I shuddered.
“ And you get another grand each from Louise,” Liam said in a tone of wonder. “I can’t believe we missed out on this, Sam!” The two looked at each other with expressions of marvel.
“Imagine how much more they could have made if they’d actually had sex?” Amy pondered.
D arla turned on her, the nights rage needing to be bomb-dropped on someone. “You offering up Sam for the next time?”
Amy recoiled. “No! God, no.”
“Then don’t think my guys are doin’ it, neither.”
“So you’ll each get about four grand,” I said, fighting my own emotions on the inside. I knew Trevor was right. T he money should go to them. And yet...
“That’s not fair,” Sam croaked out.
Liam nodded. “This is way too much money for us to just keep. Even my grinchy little heart says so.”
Charlotte rubbed his shoulders and whispered something in his ear. He laughed, then closed his eyes, sobering as he rubbed his bare stomach.
“How about we split it all four ways? Almost two grand each?”
Sam made a face of consideration, then nodded. “That’s still more than we would have made if we’d done the actual work, right Liam?”
“Right.”
“ And I think, given the, uh...story we’re hearing, that you guys could use a little compensation for your troubles,” Liam added.
“I could use a little Novocaine for my ass,” Trevor said. “But two grand will definitely help to mute the pain.”
C harlotte began counting out the money into four piles as Darla sat quietly, just staring out into space.
Amy tapped away on her tablet and then slid the screen onto an open spot on the coffee table. “Those church organists are wilder than librarians, and I thought we were a crazy bunch.”
A picture of me in my candy cane g-string, my ass the width of the screen, greeted us all.
“ What the hell?” I yipped.
“That’s on my mother’s Facebook page,” Amy said.
“Your mother is a church organist?” Darla asked, coming out of her haze.
Amy shot her a sour look. “No. But
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