hard. “Because I can only do as I’m told?”
“Yes, that’s part of it. The other part of it is that you belong to me when we play. All of you. Your body, your feelings. Even your thoughts. Sometimes I’ll ask for your thoughts, Lucy, and you’ll give them to me. I’ll ask for you to do things you don’t want to do and you’ll do them for me. And your pleasure, your orgasms...” He paused for effect. “Mine, not yours. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
I had understood submission on the surface, in the simplest form, but it was becoming clear to me that the submission Matthew expected was a lot more involved than it had been in my erotic dreams.
“The pleasure you feel will come at my hands always. You won’t touch yourself without my permission. Coming without my permission is a serious infraction, a punishable offense. To complicate matters,” he continued with a smile, “if I tell you to come, and you don’t, I’ll punish you for that as well.”
“But—” I clamped my mouth shut.
“Go on. If you have any questions, better to ask them now.”
“What if...what if I just can’t come?” Like most women, it was never a sure thing for me.
“Trust me, if you’re with me— with me , you understand—then you will. If you aren’t with me...if you aren’t giving yourself up to me, that’s your problem, your infraction, not mine.” He looked at me hard. “You see?”
“I think so. Yes, sir.”
As I said this, he lifted some nipple clamps from the armoire.
“Have you worn clamps before, Lucy?”
“Yes, once,” I admitted.
“By yourself, or with a lover?”
“By myself.”
“Did you like how it felt?”
I burned with embarrassment. “Yes. But I didn’t make them very tight,” I added as an afterthought.
That made him laugh . “Adjustable clamps. I don’t use those. Mine hurt. What about toys? Have you ever worn a plug in your ass?”
“Yes, sir.” It was too humiliating.
“By yourself, or with a lover?”
“By myself,” I whispered. “I was curious.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. You’ll wear them all the time here. They’re excellent for keeping subs in the right headspace. Have you ever been spanked?”
“No. Well, just play stuff.”
“A hand?”
“Yes. And a hairbrush one time.”
“Your fiancé? You tried to clue him in, didn’t you?”
“Yes. But it didn’t really take.”
He put down the clamps and picked up one of the canes, a small whippy one, and walked over to me.
“Bend over.”
I hesitated. He looked at me hard. I wanted to obey, but...if I bent over, he would hit me. He would hit me. It would hurt. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to take the pain, and then...
“It’s scary, isn’t it, the first time?”
I nodded, and he nodded too.
“I know. Now, bend over. I don’t like to say things more than once.”
I bent forward slightly, and before I even finished, he striped my bottom with the cane, just once. I yelped in pain and reached back to shield myself, frantically rubbing the fiery stripe he’d left. He took my hand hard in his.
“Give me the other one.”
He secured both my wrists in front of me in a firm grip while my mind was still stuck on the throbbing pain of what he’d done.
“You will never put your hands behind you. Never, never, never. You’ll never try to protect yourself. In the beginning, I’ll restrain you for your own safety, until you learn to control yourself on your own. Canes can draw blood pretty quickly on a hand. A paddle can break one. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” I said, and then I shrieked as he brought the cane down on my ass again. I tried to pull away from him but found I could go nowhere. He had me held tight. I gasped for breath. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it after all. After all this, I would have to tell him it wouldn’t work, that I couldn’t do what he wanted. But I was doing it, wasn’t I? He’d hit me twice and I’d lived. But how many would I have to take?
“Yes, that’s part of it. The other part of it is that you belong to me when we play. All of you. Your body, your feelings. Even your thoughts. Sometimes I’ll ask for your thoughts, Lucy, and you’ll give them to me. I’ll ask for you to do things you don’t want to do and you’ll do them for me. And your pleasure, your orgasms...” He paused for effect. “Mine, not yours. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
I had understood submission on the surface, in the simplest form, but it was becoming clear to me that the submission Matthew expected was a lot more involved than it had been in my erotic dreams.
“The pleasure you feel will come at my hands always. You won’t touch yourself without my permission. Coming without my permission is a serious infraction, a punishable offense. To complicate matters,” he continued with a smile, “if I tell you to come, and you don’t, I’ll punish you for that as well.”
“But—” I clamped my mouth shut.
“Go on. If you have any questions, better to ask them now.”
“What if...what if I just can’t come?” Like most women, it was never a sure thing for me.
“Trust me, if you’re with me— with me , you understand—then you will. If you aren’t with me...if you aren’t giving yourself up to me, that’s your problem, your infraction, not mine.” He looked at me hard. “You see?”
“I think so. Yes, sir.”
As I said this, he lifted some nipple clamps from the armoire.
“Have you worn clamps before, Lucy?”
“Yes, once,” I admitted.
“By yourself, or with a lover?”
“By myself.”
“Did you like how it felt?”
I burned with embarrassment. “Yes. But I didn’t make them very tight,” I added as an afterthought.
That made him laugh . “Adjustable clamps. I don’t use those. Mine hurt. What about toys? Have you ever worn a plug in your ass?”
“Yes, sir.” It was too humiliating.
“By yourself, or with a lover?”
“By myself,” I whispered. “I was curious.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. You’ll wear them all the time here. They’re excellent for keeping subs in the right headspace. Have you ever been spanked?”
“No. Well, just play stuff.”
“A hand?”
“Yes. And a hairbrush one time.”
“Your fiancé? You tried to clue him in, didn’t you?”
“Yes. But it didn’t really take.”
He put down the clamps and picked up one of the canes, a small whippy one, and walked over to me.
“Bend over.”
I hesitated. He looked at me hard. I wanted to obey, but...if I bent over, he would hit me. He would hit me. It would hurt. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to take the pain, and then...
“It’s scary, isn’t it, the first time?”
I nodded, and he nodded too.
“I know. Now, bend over. I don’t like to say things more than once.”
I bent forward slightly, and before I even finished, he striped my bottom with the cane, just once. I yelped in pain and reached back to shield myself, frantically rubbing the fiery stripe he’d left. He took my hand hard in his.
“Give me the other one.”
He secured both my wrists in front of me in a firm grip while my mind was still stuck on the throbbing pain of what he’d done.
“You will never put your hands behind you. Never, never, never. You’ll never try to protect yourself. In the beginning, I’ll restrain you for your own safety, until you learn to control yourself on your own. Canes can draw blood pretty quickly on a hand. A paddle can break one. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” I said, and then I shrieked as he brought the cane down on my ass again. I tried to pull away from him but found I could go nowhere. He had me held tight. I gasped for breath. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it after all. After all this, I would have to tell him it wouldn’t work, that I couldn’t do what he wanted. But I was doing it, wasn’t I? He’d hit me twice and I’d lived. But how many would I have to take?
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