Read Online Memory's Door (A Well Spring Novel) by James L. Rubart - Free Book Online Page B

put you in front of millions. I have a newsletter of more than seventy-five thousand people. I have a Facebook page with over thirty thousand likes. I have a book contract.”
    “I don’t want to be in front of millions. I don’t want be in front of thousands. I want to be in front of the remnant of warriors who want to go deeper and are willing to pay the price that will entail. There will never be many.”
    “I get that. But to get to the few, you need to get to the many. You need me, Reece. Think about it. If you’re trying to find a needle in a haystack you have to figure out a way to spin through a lot of hay.”
    “Tamera, you’ve learned much and grown in love as we both said a moment ago but you’ve failed to realize your place in the tapestry.”
    “What’s my place? I’ve found my place. I’m making huge changes in people’s lives.”
    “Yes, I believe you are.”
    “And you need me to do the same for you.”
    “No, I don’t need you, Tamera. You’re not needed at all.”
    “What?” The scrape of Tamera’s chair filled Reece’s ears and her voice came from above him. “You’re wrong. I have so much to offer you. I’m worth something.”
    “Sit down.”
    “How do you know I’m standing?”
    “Sit down, friend, and listen. I don’t need you just as he doesn’t need me. His purposes will be accomplished with or without me. All God’s offering is an invitation into his story, the greater story, the things he’s doing on a grand and microscopic level.”
    “I want to be needed. I need to be needed. I want to feel like what I’m doing matters. That God is using me to make a difference, to create some kind of legacy. I want to know I’m worth something. Is that so wrong?”
    “And what if the legacy you create is simply one of loving the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength?”
    “I couldn’t live with that. I need to be able to point to something.”
    “Open your heart to my words, Tamera. Don’t you understand what that means? It means he values you for who you are, not for what you’ve done or what you might do for him or others. There is no earning his favor, his grace, or his mercy. There is no action you can take to make him love you. He already does. More than you will ever imagine. But you’re not wrong to want to know if you’re worth something. You are worth something. More than something. You are worth his being crushed and broken, torn and scourged. Executed against a scorching sun and the utter scorn of those around him. You are worth so much.”
    The air went still and all Reece heard was a gentle wind in the trees. A few seconds later the cry of children playing floated over the air from at far away. “Do you hear that? It’s what we must become. No pride, no self-focused ambition, no—”
    “I get the message.” The volume of Tamera’s voice dropped—Reece couldn’t tell if it was from sadness or anger seething just below the surface. He wished he could see her eyes, to know if she was about to explode or let the truth in.
    “Why is this so important to you? It sounds like you have a tremendous career in fitness going.”
    “Because I want the power you four have. I want to be around it. Learn more. Do the things you talked about that are on the fringe. I want to experience it all.”
    “I don’t know which way the wind will blow tomorrow, Tamera, but the answer in this moment is to wait.”
    “I’m done waiting.”
    “I’m sorry. This is not about you or your worth before God. It’s about what he is doing. It’s possible I’m not hearing correctly from the Spirit, but I believe I am, and this is not the time and I don’t know when it will be.”
    “You’ll regret this, Reece. So will the others.”

ELEVEN
    M ARCUS ARRIVED AT R EECE ’ S HOUSE ON S UNDAY EVENING at 7:05 and scanned the driveway. Brandon’s and Dana’s cars were already here. He didn’t get out. Should he tell them about the bizarre