Read Online Me and Miranda Mullaly by Jake Gerhardt - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Jake Gerhardt
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first quarter. The Wildcats, however, gamely fought back and took the lead after Muller committed two turnovers and missed three straight shots. At the end of the first half, the teams were knotted at twenty-six.
The Eagles again jumped out to a quick start, leading by six halfway through the third quarter. But once again Muller had difficulty on both ends of the court, putting forth a lackluster effort on defense and missing an uncontested layup.
At the start of the fourth and final quarter, the Eagles and Wildcats traded leads. It was with the final seconds ticking off the clock that Muller drove to the basket, not seeing his open teammates, and tried to win the game on his own. Fortunately for Muller, he was fouled on the play and, with no time left on the clock, was awarded two free throws and the chance at redemption.
But alas, Muller, who appeared to be distracted, missed both free throws. The Cedarbrook players celebrated, while the Eagles left the court losers, undoubtedly wondering how Muller failed to pass the ball and then missed two free throws. It was a difficult defeat for the team, which had worked so hard and showed so much promise, to accept.
I had no trouble writing the above article. In fact, I probably didnât even have to show up. Chollie Muller is always guaranteed to come up short, whether itâs missing the free throws at the end of the basketball game or fumbling the winning touchdown in a football game. It will be interesting to see how he messes up during baseball season.
It was difficult, however, to sit in the stands and watch Miranda Mullaly cheer for Chollie and Sam. Although Iâm sure sheâs only a cheerleader to pad her resume for college applications, watching her shake the pom-poms every time we scored a basket was heartrending. Miranda and I shouldâve been onstage together, running through lines and rehearsing our duets, instead of cheering for and reporting on the pathetic basketball team.
10
The Library
Duke
One of the many crosses I have to bear in this world is Neal and Cassandra inviting their university students over for a seminar 17 and pizza. Every graduate student in sociology whom I have ever met is afflicted with some type of disease that makes them pat me on the head and say Iâm âcute.â You would think college students would have a better vocabulary, or at the very least, the ability to recognize my superior intellect.
Needless to say, I was a fugitive and had nowhere togo but the library. At least there I could curl up with a
New
Yorker
(the pages are always pristineânot very flattering for my hometown). The library, since it contains books, is usually empty.
So how bad could it be? A couple of hours in a quiet library. I was actually looking forward to a relaxing, low-stress evening. It also would give me a chance to contemplate what I would write in Mirandaâs Valentineâs candy-gram.
But such nights are not to be had at Penn Valley. The first person I saw upon entering the library was Sam Dolan. He surprisingly had a book in his hands that he was,
not
surprisingly, holding upside down. I suspect he was waiting for his lab partner, Erica Dickerson. I canât stand Erica. Sheâs like a female Sam Dolan with an IQ in the double digits. I have noticed, however, Erica spending a lot of time with Miranda, so I should probably be nice to her just in case Miranda asks her what she thinks about me.
I passed the half-wit without being seen, grabbed the untouched
New Yorker
, and took a seat at a table that had two bookshelves protecting me from Sam. I began to read an article about the President of NYU 18 when I heard
her
voice.
Sinking lower into my seat, I waited like the proverbial dumb blonde in a horror movie.
And then, much to my despair, Chollie and Miranda passed by my table.
Chollie, of course, saw me out of the corner of his eye.
âHiya, Duke.â
I could only nod. Youâre not supposed to talk in
The Eagles again jumped out to a quick start, leading by six halfway through the third quarter. But once again Muller had difficulty on both ends of the court, putting forth a lackluster effort on defense and missing an uncontested layup.
At the start of the fourth and final quarter, the Eagles and Wildcats traded leads. It was with the final seconds ticking off the clock that Muller drove to the basket, not seeing his open teammates, and tried to win the game on his own. Fortunately for Muller, he was fouled on the play and, with no time left on the clock, was awarded two free throws and the chance at redemption.
But alas, Muller, who appeared to be distracted, missed both free throws. The Cedarbrook players celebrated, while the Eagles left the court losers, undoubtedly wondering how Muller failed to pass the ball and then missed two free throws. It was a difficult defeat for the team, which had worked so hard and showed so much promise, to accept.
I had no trouble writing the above article. In fact, I probably didnât even have to show up. Chollie Muller is always guaranteed to come up short, whether itâs missing the free throws at the end of the basketball game or fumbling the winning touchdown in a football game. It will be interesting to see how he messes up during baseball season.
It was difficult, however, to sit in the stands and watch Miranda Mullaly cheer for Chollie and Sam. Although Iâm sure sheâs only a cheerleader to pad her resume for college applications, watching her shake the pom-poms every time we scored a basket was heartrending. Miranda and I shouldâve been onstage together, running through lines and rehearsing our duets, instead of cheering for and reporting on the pathetic basketball team.
10
The Library
Duke
One of the many crosses I have to bear in this world is Neal and Cassandra inviting their university students over for a seminar 17 and pizza. Every graduate student in sociology whom I have ever met is afflicted with some type of disease that makes them pat me on the head and say Iâm âcute.â You would think college students would have a better vocabulary, or at the very least, the ability to recognize my superior intellect.
Needless to say, I was a fugitive and had nowhere togo but the library. At least there I could curl up with a
New
Yorker
(the pages are always pristineânot very flattering for my hometown). The library, since it contains books, is usually empty.
So how bad could it be? A couple of hours in a quiet library. I was actually looking forward to a relaxing, low-stress evening. It also would give me a chance to contemplate what I would write in Mirandaâs Valentineâs candy-gram.
But such nights are not to be had at Penn Valley. The first person I saw upon entering the library was Sam Dolan. He surprisingly had a book in his hands that he was,
not
surprisingly, holding upside down. I suspect he was waiting for his lab partner, Erica Dickerson. I canât stand Erica. Sheâs like a female Sam Dolan with an IQ in the double digits. I have noticed, however, Erica spending a lot of time with Miranda, so I should probably be nice to her just in case Miranda asks her what she thinks about me.
I passed the half-wit without being seen, grabbed the untouched
New Yorker
, and took a seat at a table that had two bookshelves protecting me from Sam. I began to read an article about the President of NYU 18 when I heard
her
voice.
Sinking lower into my seat, I waited like the proverbial dumb blonde in a horror movie.
And then, much to my despair, Chollie and Miranda passed by my table.
Chollie, of course, saw me out of the corner of his eye.
âHiya, Duke.â
I could only nod. Youâre not supposed to talk in
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