checked what he remembers about last night. I admit I wasn’t really concentrating while we were walking towards the sea. I was just watching my feet. He didn’t say anything, but I think he got a message on his phone; I think I heard that beep beep thing you get. You know the one.’
Metternich did indeed know the one. It got right inside his head, like a fly buzzing round in there. He remembered the good old days, when people had left messages on bits of white stuff lying around. When he was a kitten, in those far off days before he had responsibilities – like His Nibs here, asking him stuff all the time and That Woman moving in, upsettingthe male balance of nature and The Boy to be watched – he occasionally used to cut out the trip to the litter box and wee on the messages. That was fun! But wait, the mad old duffer was still whittering on.
‘I must ask him if he got a message, although it probably isn’t any of my business. I promised Jacquie I’d keep out of this one, Count.’
Metternich cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at him. If he had a rat cutlet for every time he’d heard that one.
‘No, I did.’ Maxwell sensed the cat’s disbelief. ‘I really am going to leave it alone.’
Metternich settled down for a bit more kip, paws over nose, nose up bum. Usual thing – the contortionist’s dream, the sort of thing Louis Wain used to see without even going off on one.
Nolan burbled in his sleep and replaced his sucking fingers in his mouth.
The central heating pinged as a distant pipe cooled.
‘Oh, dammit, Count. Of course I’m not. Who am I kidding?’ Maxwell stabbed the numbers into the phone and paused with it to his ear.
Why did they do that? Metternich wondered for the millionth time. He’ll start talking in a minute. Yep, there he goes.
‘Bill? Bill, it’s Max.’
The thing by his ear squawked and he wandered into the kitchen. There were some things a man didn’t want his son or his cat to hear.
‘Calm down, Bill.’ It was a damn-near perfect Michael Winner. ‘I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that. Oh, is it? Why has she gone back to her mother? Surely her mother only lives in Leighford, so she hasn’t gone far.’ Maxwell listened, with the phone slightly away from his ear, then sighed. ‘I do understand, Bill. Look,’ he crossed his fingers to counteract the lie that was on its way. ‘I’m sure Jacquie would love to have you for a few days. Come on round. Yes, no, really. I’ll see you shortly.’
He rang off and walked back into the sitting room. Two pairs of big round eyes, brown and golden, were looking at him in what he assumed was horror.
‘All right, all right. There’s no need to look at me like that, either of you. I’m sure she’ll be fine about it.’ But it was a worried man who sat down again on the sofa. He dialled once more and sat while the call connected. He looked down and found he hadn’t yet uncrossed his fingers. Probably just as well.
They swept around that brave curve by the river, where the road ran on to Angmering and Littlehampton, driving over the bridge with theHowards’ great castle staring down at them. Jacquie glanced to her right, to the stretch of river that followed the riverbank and remembered a night long, long ago when she’d wandered there with a boy. And he’d kissed her in the sunset’s flare on the water. And she felt her heart leap again. Just a little. Just for a moment. Whatever happened to Johnny Depp? She caught sight of the gently snoring DCI beside her and it jolted her back to reality. Johnny Depp was another fantasy altogether. The lad’s name was actually Tommy Gluck and he had a speech impediment. No doubt by now he had eight kids, a nagging mother-in-law and hairs were starting to grow out of his ears. Ah, the dream of young love.
She parked the Ka with a bit of a bounce, hoping it would wake Hall up. The DCI had been out of it since Leighford. She didn’t want the job of having to shake him awake. He sat
Metternich did indeed know the one. It got right inside his head, like a fly buzzing round in there. He remembered the good old days, when people had left messages on bits of white stuff lying around. When he was a kitten, in those far off days before he had responsibilities – like His Nibs here, asking him stuff all the time and That Woman moving in, upsettingthe male balance of nature and The Boy to be watched – he occasionally used to cut out the trip to the litter box and wee on the messages. That was fun! But wait, the mad old duffer was still whittering on.
‘I must ask him if he got a message, although it probably isn’t any of my business. I promised Jacquie I’d keep out of this one, Count.’
Metternich cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at him. If he had a rat cutlet for every time he’d heard that one.
‘No, I did.’ Maxwell sensed the cat’s disbelief. ‘I really am going to leave it alone.’
Metternich settled down for a bit more kip, paws over nose, nose up bum. Usual thing – the contortionist’s dream, the sort of thing Louis Wain used to see without even going off on one.
Nolan burbled in his sleep and replaced his sucking fingers in his mouth.
The central heating pinged as a distant pipe cooled.
‘Oh, dammit, Count. Of course I’m not. Who am I kidding?’ Maxwell stabbed the numbers into the phone and paused with it to his ear.
Why did they do that? Metternich wondered for the millionth time. He’ll start talking in a minute. Yep, there he goes.
‘Bill? Bill, it’s Max.’
The thing by his ear squawked and he wandered into the kitchen. There were some things a man didn’t want his son or his cat to hear.
‘Calm down, Bill.’ It was a damn-near perfect Michael Winner. ‘I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that. Oh, is it? Why has she gone back to her mother? Surely her mother only lives in Leighford, so she hasn’t gone far.’ Maxwell listened, with the phone slightly away from his ear, then sighed. ‘I do understand, Bill. Look,’ he crossed his fingers to counteract the lie that was on its way. ‘I’m sure Jacquie would love to have you for a few days. Come on round. Yes, no, really. I’ll see you shortly.’
He rang off and walked back into the sitting room. Two pairs of big round eyes, brown and golden, were looking at him in what he assumed was horror.
‘All right, all right. There’s no need to look at me like that, either of you. I’m sure she’ll be fine about it.’ But it was a worried man who sat down again on the sofa. He dialled once more and sat while the call connected. He looked down and found he hadn’t yet uncrossed his fingers. Probably just as well.
They swept around that brave curve by the river, where the road ran on to Angmering and Littlehampton, driving over the bridge with theHowards’ great castle staring down at them. Jacquie glanced to her right, to the stretch of river that followed the riverbank and remembered a night long, long ago when she’d wandered there with a boy. And he’d kissed her in the sunset’s flare on the water. And she felt her heart leap again. Just a little. Just for a moment. Whatever happened to Johnny Depp? She caught sight of the gently snoring DCI beside her and it jolted her back to reality. Johnny Depp was another fantasy altogether. The lad’s name was actually Tommy Gluck and he had a speech impediment. No doubt by now he had eight kids, a nagging mother-in-law and hairs were starting to grow out of his ears. Ah, the dream of young love.
She parked the Ka with a bit of a bounce, hoping it would wake Hall up. The DCI had been out of it since Leighford. She didn’t want the job of having to shake him awake. He sat
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