Read Online Mary Mary Quite Contrary ( A Grimm Diaries Prequel #5 ) by Cameron Jace - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Cameron Jace
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enough people today? Was
Hell suddenly out of sinners and killers? I had been working hard all year. So hard
that I thought I should get the medal of honor. But it looks like it was all in
vain. Or maybe it was just a temporarily thing today. You know those days when
you wake up in the morning and in the middle of the night at the same time?
I checked my schedule, seeing if I had
left any misery or mayhem behind that I had not inflicted upon humans. But I
was right on schedule, fulfilling all my deadlines. I had even finished some
jobs earlier than expected. For instance, the number of people dying in war,
and of poverty and illness, was a lot more that what I had longed for. Like I
said, someone should have awarded me a medal. But nah, no one congratulates the
devil for doing his work right.
Looking down from my throne full of
thorns, I glanced at the people on Earth. Oh, man. I despised them. It wasn’t
like they were becoming better humans or anything, Devil forbid. In fact, they
all roasted in their sin, mayonnaised in their stupidity, tomato-sauced in
their envy and anger toward each other – the heat around me is getting me
hungry I think. My problem with humans was that they had become too easy for
me. Whatever I threw at them, they took it. Seducing them, tempting them, or
turning them into killing each other wasn’t that hard anymore. I had studied
them for thousands of years after all, while they didn’t know anything about
me. Except for their silly movies and books about me where I am holding a
pitchfork and wiggled a red tail. Silly superficial humans. I was right to get
out of Heaven, for not wanting to take care of them and honor them. I’d rather
honor a squirrel. Why not a squirrel instead of a human? It’s good looking,
adorable, and funny. And it doesn’t freakin’ talk!
Duh. I was really bored that day.
And it bothered me. It made me
reconsider my choices. Maybe I shouldn’t have seduced almost everyone I had a
chance to. I should have left a great portion of good people in the world as
naïve and good-hearted as they come – well, that’s a lie, they are all
bastards. All I do is ignite that malicious factor inside them, and they run
like an angry rollercoaster from there.
Washing the thought away, I looked
through my telescope, peeking over at Heaven. People seemed really happy there.
Teens were running in the pink poppy fields, throwing dandelions at each other,
laughing with their eyes, and drinking white wine from the vines of the
greenest trees. Some sailed in chocolate rivers and bathed in fresh milk. Some
leaned back in their hammocks over looking Eden while reading Harry Potter book twenty-three – you don’t have those on earth, I know.
You have to have a membership in Heaven to read those.
What is wrong with these guys? What are
they so happy about? So clichéd, I pursed my lips. Every hour, they celebrated
someone’s birthday or a wedding.
I hate Heaven. WTF? ( yes, I am the
one who invented that abbreviation. I am awesome, ain’t I? ) No more
Halloweens? No more nightmares before Christmas?
The heat, which I loved, was starting
to bother me, and my breathing had tightened. I needed to amuse myself on this
horribly slow and unproductive day.
Finally, I summoned the boys and the
girls in Hell. Teens in hell were amusing. Not having been assigned missions
before the age of sixteen, they spent a good time in Hell singing, playing,
burning things. I asked them to entertain me, to show me something that would
be fun, but would still be evil enough to be super fun.
One of them showed me a mirror.
A mirror? I wondered. What the heck
was that? It was
ancient times so even I hadn’t seen a glass mirror before – mirrors were mostly copper or obsidian at the time, even in Hell.
“You can see your reflection in it.” A
Pippi Longstocking look-alike girl told me, chewing on a
piece of gummy coal. I wondered if the pimples on her face were cigarette
burns.
“See my
Hell suddenly out of sinners and killers? I had been working hard all year. So hard
that I thought I should get the medal of honor. But it looks like it was all in
vain. Or maybe it was just a temporarily thing today. You know those days when
you wake up in the morning and in the middle of the night at the same time?
I checked my schedule, seeing if I had
left any misery or mayhem behind that I had not inflicted upon humans. But I
was right on schedule, fulfilling all my deadlines. I had even finished some
jobs earlier than expected. For instance, the number of people dying in war,
and of poverty and illness, was a lot more that what I had longed for. Like I
said, someone should have awarded me a medal. But nah, no one congratulates the
devil for doing his work right.
Looking down from my throne full of
thorns, I glanced at the people on Earth. Oh, man. I despised them. It wasn’t
like they were becoming better humans or anything, Devil forbid. In fact, they
all roasted in their sin, mayonnaised in their stupidity, tomato-sauced in
their envy and anger toward each other – the heat around me is getting me
hungry I think. My problem with humans was that they had become too easy for
me. Whatever I threw at them, they took it. Seducing them, tempting them, or
turning them into killing each other wasn’t that hard anymore. I had studied
them for thousands of years after all, while they didn’t know anything about
me. Except for their silly movies and books about me where I am holding a
pitchfork and wiggled a red tail. Silly superficial humans. I was right to get
out of Heaven, for not wanting to take care of them and honor them. I’d rather
honor a squirrel. Why not a squirrel instead of a human? It’s good looking,
adorable, and funny. And it doesn’t freakin’ talk!
Duh. I was really bored that day.
And it bothered me. It made me
reconsider my choices. Maybe I shouldn’t have seduced almost everyone I had a
chance to. I should have left a great portion of good people in the world as
naïve and good-hearted as they come – well, that’s a lie, they are all
bastards. All I do is ignite that malicious factor inside them, and they run
like an angry rollercoaster from there.
Washing the thought away, I looked
through my telescope, peeking over at Heaven. People seemed really happy there.
Teens were running in the pink poppy fields, throwing dandelions at each other,
laughing with their eyes, and drinking white wine from the vines of the
greenest trees. Some sailed in chocolate rivers and bathed in fresh milk. Some
leaned back in their hammocks over looking Eden while reading Harry Potter book twenty-three – you don’t have those on earth, I know.
You have to have a membership in Heaven to read those.
What is wrong with these guys? What are
they so happy about? So clichéd, I pursed my lips. Every hour, they celebrated
someone’s birthday or a wedding.
I hate Heaven. WTF? ( yes, I am the
one who invented that abbreviation. I am awesome, ain’t I? ) No more
Halloweens? No more nightmares before Christmas?
The heat, which I loved, was starting
to bother me, and my breathing had tightened. I needed to amuse myself on this
horribly slow and unproductive day.
Finally, I summoned the boys and the
girls in Hell. Teens in hell were amusing. Not having been assigned missions
before the age of sixteen, they spent a good time in Hell singing, playing,
burning things. I asked them to entertain me, to show me something that would
be fun, but would still be evil enough to be super fun.
One of them showed me a mirror.
A mirror? I wondered. What the heck
was that? It was
ancient times so even I hadn’t seen a glass mirror before – mirrors were mostly copper or obsidian at the time, even in Hell.
“You can see your reflection in it.” A
Pippi Longstocking look-alike girl told me, chewing on a
piece of gummy coal. I wondered if the pimples on her face were cigarette
burns.
“See my
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