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suitable.”
Usually he didn’t talk about his private life, but in the darkness and with Sarah’s honesty as inspiration, he found himself saying, “I’ve known both. I was madly in love when I was about the same age as when you loved Gerald. And I was equally devastated when it ended. Much later, I found . . . the best of companions. At least, for a while.”
Sarah’s voice softened. “What happened to the woman you loved madly? What was she like?”
Rob seldom thought of Bryony anymore. She belonged to the time in his life when he’d still had hope and optimism.
“She was a wild, beautiful shepherd’s daughter on my father’s estate. I’ve never met a girl like her. Black haired and fearless and free.” Rob had a swift, searing mental image of Bryony racing across a meadow ahead of him, her long dark hair flying behind as she laughingly teased him to catch her. He swallowed hard. “I asked her to marry me, despite the difference in rank.”
“And she died?”
His mouth twisted. “My father bought her off. I don’t know how much he gave her. Enough so that she left the area without a word to me.”
Sarah’s hand tightened. “I’m not sure which way of losing a lover is worse.”
Rob hadn’t thought about that, but he didn’t hesitate to say, “Death is worse. I’d like to think Bryony took the money and built herself a good life somewhere. Her parents were dreadful, and perhaps she didn’t believe I was serious about marrying her. The money gave her the chance to be independent. I hope she’s happy.”
“But you were serious about marrying her.” Sarah’s words were soft in the night.
As serious as a man could be. “She would have made a splendid officer’s wife.”
“You’ve served in the army?”
“No. I’d planned to buy a commission in Alex Randall’s regiment since we’d become friends at school. But—circumstances changed.”
“You would have made a good officer,” Sarah said warmly.
“I’d like to think so.” He smiled wryly. “It’s a far more honorable calling than being a Bow Street Runner.”
“But surely a Runner gets to work more justice,” she said.
He was startled by her perception. She was right; a Runner’s work could be sordid, but Rob did manage to bring a little more justice into the world.
“What about the companion? She can’t have been the best if she left you.”
The loss of Cassie was very recent and the ache was deep. “She was brave and dangerous and kind. She traveled a great deal and we were seldom together, but those times were the brightest spots in my life. I thought that someday we might settle down together, but in her eyes, we were bound by friendship, not anything deeper.”
“Was she right?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it as he thought. He’d disagreed with Cassie when she’d told him their true bond was friendship because they were both too self-sufficient to ever need anyone else. “She said we were friends who sometimes shared a bed. I didn’t agree with her then, but perhaps she was right.” After a long silence, he added wistfully, “Friendship might have been enough if she hadn’t found a man who touched her more deeply. But . . . she did.”
“So finding romantic love is possible even after one has lost hope. I find that a comforting thought.” After a pause, Sarah added, “Though it’s none of my business, I’m perishing of curiosity about why you are no longer the Honorable Robert Carmichael.”
He shrugged. “My father disowned me some years ago. Legally, he couldn’t prevent me from styling myself as Honorable, but I’ve no desire to do so. Being a flash cove is not an advantage in my work.”
“I suppose not.” She made a small sound like a suppressed yawn. “I’m ready to fall back asleep, but it’s cold in this barn. Do you think it’s possible for us to cuddle up without something . . . inappropriate happening?”
He considered. “I’m not sure.”
“What if you lie on
Usually he didn’t talk about his private life, but in the darkness and with Sarah’s honesty as inspiration, he found himself saying, “I’ve known both. I was madly in love when I was about the same age as when you loved Gerald. And I was equally devastated when it ended. Much later, I found . . . the best of companions. At least, for a while.”
Sarah’s voice softened. “What happened to the woman you loved madly? What was she like?”
Rob seldom thought of Bryony anymore. She belonged to the time in his life when he’d still had hope and optimism.
“She was a wild, beautiful shepherd’s daughter on my father’s estate. I’ve never met a girl like her. Black haired and fearless and free.” Rob had a swift, searing mental image of Bryony racing across a meadow ahead of him, her long dark hair flying behind as she laughingly teased him to catch her. He swallowed hard. “I asked her to marry me, despite the difference in rank.”
“And she died?”
His mouth twisted. “My father bought her off. I don’t know how much he gave her. Enough so that she left the area without a word to me.”
Sarah’s hand tightened. “I’m not sure which way of losing a lover is worse.”
Rob hadn’t thought about that, but he didn’t hesitate to say, “Death is worse. I’d like to think Bryony took the money and built herself a good life somewhere. Her parents were dreadful, and perhaps she didn’t believe I was serious about marrying her. The money gave her the chance to be independent. I hope she’s happy.”
“But you were serious about marrying her.” Sarah’s words were soft in the night.
As serious as a man could be. “She would have made a splendid officer’s wife.”
“You’ve served in the army?”
“No. I’d planned to buy a commission in Alex Randall’s regiment since we’d become friends at school. But—circumstances changed.”
“You would have made a good officer,” Sarah said warmly.
“I’d like to think so.” He smiled wryly. “It’s a far more honorable calling than being a Bow Street Runner.”
“But surely a Runner gets to work more justice,” she said.
He was startled by her perception. She was right; a Runner’s work could be sordid, but Rob did manage to bring a little more justice into the world.
“What about the companion? She can’t have been the best if she left you.”
The loss of Cassie was very recent and the ache was deep. “She was brave and dangerous and kind. She traveled a great deal and we were seldom together, but those times were the brightest spots in my life. I thought that someday we might settle down together, but in her eyes, we were bound by friendship, not anything deeper.”
“Was she right?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it as he thought. He’d disagreed with Cassie when she’d told him their true bond was friendship because they were both too self-sufficient to ever need anyone else. “She said we were friends who sometimes shared a bed. I didn’t agree with her then, but perhaps she was right.” After a long silence, he added wistfully, “Friendship might have been enough if she hadn’t found a man who touched her more deeply. But . . . she did.”
“So finding romantic love is possible even after one has lost hope. I find that a comforting thought.” After a pause, Sarah added, “Though it’s none of my business, I’m perishing of curiosity about why you are no longer the Honorable Robert Carmichael.”
He shrugged. “My father disowned me some years ago. Legally, he couldn’t prevent me from styling myself as Honorable, but I’ve no desire to do so. Being a flash cove is not an advantage in my work.”
“I suppose not.” She made a small sound like a suppressed yawn. “I’m ready to fall back asleep, but it’s cold in this barn. Do you think it’s possible for us to cuddle up without something . . . inappropriate happening?”
He considered. “I’m not sure.”
“What if you lie on
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