Read Online Man About Town: A Novel by Mark Merlis - Free Book Online Page B

just multiplied that by three and said that’s what someone needed to subsist on. And since then—”
    Joel was wrong; this wasn’t interesting. “No, no, no,” Harris practically shouted. “How much is it?”
    “Oh.” Joel had no idea. “I think it’s like … seven thousand or something for one person.”
    “Seven thousand!” Harris seemed amazed.
    “Yeah, it’s really not very much.”
    Joel had misstepped again. “Seven thousand,” Harris said. “There are lots of people in Montana getting by on a lot less than seven thousand. And they don’t come crying to the government for help.”
    “Um, right. But it’s kind of a national average, you know? I mean, if you lived in New York, say, or here in DC, seven thousand wouldn’t get you very far.”
    “Nobody says people have to live in New York.”
    “No, sir,” Joel said, miserably. Five minutes into the briefing and he had Harris thinking he was some kind of communist. You had to be so careful with these guys, the new Republicans who had descended on the Capitol like blow-dried Martians. You could tell them the earth was round and they’d turn on you, snarling that this was just the kind of confused, outmoded thinking they’d been sent to Washington to straighten out.
    “Anyway,” Harris said, with a little wave of his hand, conciliatory now that he had made his point. “Anyway, aliens below this … ‘poverty level’ get Medicare and they don’t have to pay anything, the states pay for it.”
    “Well, it’s not just aliens. It’s anybody below that level. Citizens, too.”
    “Fine, fine, but we’re talking about the aliens. What are they doing here?”
    “Doing here?” How should Joel know what they were doing here? Maybe they all crept across the border to get free heart transplants. “Well, they were admitted here … you know, refugees from somewhere or, I don’t know, somebody’s mother, whatever.”
    “So why don’t they become citizens? They could become citizens.”
    “Um … I guess maybe they can’t pass the test. You know, they may not have learned English all that well, so they can’t pass the test.” He would have liked to see Harris pass the citizenship test. He would also have liked to see Harris subsist for a week on the thrifty food plan.
    Rob the receptionist appeared in the doorway. “Senator, excuse me, it’s … it’s those people you were expecting. From—”
    Harris cut him off. “Right, right.” He turned to Joel. “This’ll just be a few minutes, if you can stick around. I think we had some other stuff we wanted to go through.”
    “Sure,” Joel said.
    When Harris had gone, Joel said to Melanie, “I guess I put my foot in it.”
    “Better you than me.” Melanie giggled. “I loved that. There are people in Montana living on nuts and berries!”
    “Yeah. Proud and self-sufficient.”
    “Real Americans.” She shook a fist in the air.
    “Anyway, you’d think I’d know better, just keep my mouth shut.”
    Melanie shrugged. “It’s kind of … I’m never quite surewhat will set him off. You know, he’s not— He’s more complicated than you think. He really does care about people.”
    “Uh-huh.”
    “Look, just that he wanted to know more about this—at least he’s thinking about it, trying to think about it.”
    “I guess.”
    “I try to nudge him along. And then every so often he bites my head off.”
    “Yeah, I hear he’s a bear,” Joel said.
    “Oh, that’s talk, mostly. Honestly, I never saw him throw anything. You just have to know when to ease off.”
    “Well, I’m sure easing off. Just the facts, sir. That’s if he ever comes back.”
    “He’ll be back in a few minutes, he’s just meeting with—He’ll be back unless something happens on the floor. But do you mind if I go make a couple of calls?”
    “No.”
    “You sure we can’t get you coffee or something?”
    “Yeah, coffee would be good.”
    Joel stayed in his wing chair for a minute, looking over at