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Authors: Lotus Rose
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are.”
Alice fidgeted and twerked her mouth from side to side, still not convinced.
“Besides, according to the script, you shall get to play the damsel in distress! Think of all the sympathy that will elicit!”
“Wait, what script?”
“Well, er, I mean to say, these quests tend to follow a particular sort of order. We wouldn’t want to disrupt the natural progression?”
Alice huffed and stomped her foot. “So just because I’m a little girl, I have to be the damsel in distress?”
“Well,” said the Knight, “you don’t expect I should be her, do you?”
“Why can’t you take someone else?”
“Because I need both a damsel and a squire, so who better than you? So have you decided to come?”
“I’m still thinking…” She tapped her chin. “What if I wanted to slay the dragon.?”
“Ha, you couldn’t harm a fly, even if you tried. We all know how meek and innocent you are. But enough of this piffle. We haven’t the time for this. Why, right at this moment, the horrendous bloodthirsty dragon could be descending upon the village to pillage it and set fire to the fields and ravage the buildings with its vicious talons!” He was making clawy hands and had his eyes bugged out while making a scary face.
Alice drew back. “Oh my, that’s awful!”
“Yes, so you shall accompany me so that I may successfully vanquish this threat in such a heroic manner that the bards shall sing of me? I’ve already composed a poem praising me. Would you like to hear it?”
“Oh no no,” said Alice. “Save it for after you complete the vanquishing. That’s when it’d be most appropriate.”
He nodded. “Quite. Well, let’s not dilly dally. Off we go on our quest. I’m afraid I can’t allow any more time for you to decide. Are you coming?”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Well let’s go then! Quit your dawdling!”
The guard card bowed at her. “I shall cancel your rounds for the day, milady.”
“Thank you guard.”
The Knight said, “My bag of weaponry and inventions is outside, but oh, one more thing, are there any extra chains about?”
“Why yes,” said the guard card. “Why?”
The Knight answered, “They may come in quite handy when Alice plays the role of the Damsel.”
Soon they were on their way. The Knight said they were traveling to a village that would be ravaged by the dragon, after which they would set out to the creature’s lair to slay it.
“That’s the natural order of such quests,” he said.
Alice was huffing as she struggled to carry the clanking sack.
The flimsy sack ripped, spilling its contents onto the ground. She saw that the sack was merely a bedsheet. She looked woefully at the spilled supplies. She saw the extra pair of chains with lock and key, an odd cone-shaped device with a handle, a small pouch, a sword, a bottle of red liquid labeled “tomato catsup”, a compass, a pair of goggles, what looked to be a cookie mold of a clawy creature’s footprint, a box of matchsticks, bottle of rubbing alcohol, and a canteen.”
“Here, I shall help you,” said the Knight as he kneeled and his armor clanked. “Just retie the sheet, leaving out the part with the rip. It’s the sword that seemed to have ripped it. Perhaps I should carry that.”
“You think?! Why didn’t you bring your horse? How far is this village anyway?”
“Well er, my horse and I recently had a spat. I’m sure he’ll get over it. Of course I would have loved to have him with me for the trip to the faraway village, but seeing how I only have you, we shall go to a closer village.”
Alice considered questioning him as to the logic of that, but thought better of it as she realized that a closer village would mean less walking and carrying for her.
They retied the sack and soon they were walking again. The Knight stopped answering Alice’s questions or letting her in on any more information. He said that squires should be seen and not heard. At one point, the Knight realized that
Alice fidgeted and twerked her mouth from side to side, still not convinced.
“Besides, according to the script, you shall get to play the damsel in distress! Think of all the sympathy that will elicit!”
“Wait, what script?”
“Well, er, I mean to say, these quests tend to follow a particular sort of order. We wouldn’t want to disrupt the natural progression?”
Alice huffed and stomped her foot. “So just because I’m a little girl, I have to be the damsel in distress?”
“Well,” said the Knight, “you don’t expect I should be her, do you?”
“Why can’t you take someone else?”
“Because I need both a damsel and a squire, so who better than you? So have you decided to come?”
“I’m still thinking…” She tapped her chin. “What if I wanted to slay the dragon.?”
“Ha, you couldn’t harm a fly, even if you tried. We all know how meek and innocent you are. But enough of this piffle. We haven’t the time for this. Why, right at this moment, the horrendous bloodthirsty dragon could be descending upon the village to pillage it and set fire to the fields and ravage the buildings with its vicious talons!” He was making clawy hands and had his eyes bugged out while making a scary face.
Alice drew back. “Oh my, that’s awful!”
“Yes, so you shall accompany me so that I may successfully vanquish this threat in such a heroic manner that the bards shall sing of me? I’ve already composed a poem praising me. Would you like to hear it?”
“Oh no no,” said Alice. “Save it for after you complete the vanquishing. That’s when it’d be most appropriate.”
He nodded. “Quite. Well, let’s not dilly dally. Off we go on our quest. I’m afraid I can’t allow any more time for you to decide. Are you coming?”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Well let’s go then! Quit your dawdling!”
The guard card bowed at her. “I shall cancel your rounds for the day, milady.”
“Thank you guard.”
The Knight said, “My bag of weaponry and inventions is outside, but oh, one more thing, are there any extra chains about?”
“Why yes,” said the guard card. “Why?”
The Knight answered, “They may come in quite handy when Alice plays the role of the Damsel.”
Soon they were on their way. The Knight said they were traveling to a village that would be ravaged by the dragon, after which they would set out to the creature’s lair to slay it.
“That’s the natural order of such quests,” he said.
Alice was huffing as she struggled to carry the clanking sack.
The flimsy sack ripped, spilling its contents onto the ground. She saw that the sack was merely a bedsheet. She looked woefully at the spilled supplies. She saw the extra pair of chains with lock and key, an odd cone-shaped device with a handle, a small pouch, a sword, a bottle of red liquid labeled “tomato catsup”, a compass, a pair of goggles, what looked to be a cookie mold of a clawy creature’s footprint, a box of matchsticks, bottle of rubbing alcohol, and a canteen.”
“Here, I shall help you,” said the Knight as he kneeled and his armor clanked. “Just retie the sheet, leaving out the part with the rip. It’s the sword that seemed to have ripped it. Perhaps I should carry that.”
“You think?! Why didn’t you bring your horse? How far is this village anyway?”
“Well er, my horse and I recently had a spat. I’m sure he’ll get over it. Of course I would have loved to have him with me for the trip to the faraway village, but seeing how I only have you, we shall go to a closer village.”
Alice considered questioning him as to the logic of that, but thought better of it as she realized that a closer village would mean less walking and carrying for her.
They retied the sack and soon they were walking again. The Knight stopped answering Alice’s questions or letting her in on any more information. He said that squires should be seen and not heard. At one point, the Knight realized that
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