that moment and would have given anything to have him back to hold her in his arms and to have him protect her. He was the only one who never told her that she was pretty, he said that much was obvious. But without fail, every night, after bedtime prayers, he would tell her that she was smart and good and kind and to always remember that being beautiful on the inside was more important than physical beauty. If only she could have one more day with him...She buried her face into her pillow and cried.
mn
Finally coming out and telling her mother the truth about George as well as her plan to marry Sam had been cathartic for Josie. She felt a weight lifted off of her chest, yet at the same time there was a new kind of burden, that of the elephant in the room. At first, after the announcement, though her mother told her she wouldn't stand in the way of Josie's decision, life just seemed to go on as normal, as if they thought it just a phase and Josie would change her mind. It wasn't spoken of at all. Dinners consisted of pleasant, if not awkward, conversation and the few times Josie attempted to bring it up, it was met with a “we'll discuss it later” or an abrupt change of subject. George continued to make her feel uncomfortable, even more so, to Josie's dismay. Except for dinner, she tried to spend the majority of time in her bedroom.
So on they went, with this elephant in the room, not addressing it, until at last Josie announced that she was not going to finish out the school term. She hated the awkward loneliness she felt in school and, academically was beyond even the schoolmaster at this point. She was self-taught in most subjects and was a voracious reader. Though she loved learning and reading, she hated being at that school and wished instead to spend her last days at home with her mother and packing for her new life in Texas.
George and Charlotte had no choice but to accept Josie's decision. Time seemed to drag on. Josie was beyond excited to meet Sam in person and couldn't wait to be free of George yet she wanted to relish the time with her mother. They had a new traveling dress made for her, as well as a few dresses that would be appropriate to wear for a housewife working on the ranch. A few times she would sink into a bout of anxiety, worried that if truth be told, she knew little of what life on a ranch entailed. From what she knew, depending on the size and income of the ranch, she could be headed for an easy life as a wealthy rancher's wife or a life of drudgery if the ranch was struggling and unsuccessful. She wasn't sure exactly where the Dawson ranch fit into on that scale. One thing that came across through his letters was that Sam was extremely modest. He mentioned he wasn't very smart, yet the intelligence and writing skill he had spoke otherwise. What if it was a life of drudgery that life had in store for her? Or worse, what if it didn't work out? These were questions that consumed her. But she calmed herself by reading her father's Bible and Sam's love letters to her. They gave her reassurance that as long as she was with someone who loved her, she didn't care where she was or how hard she'd have to work to help her husband.
She was enjoying spending time with her mother during the days and was graceful that her mother didn't put up a fight at her decision to quit school. When George was gone, Josie felt like she could be herself, that she and her mother got along better, laughing and talking. She was able to do that because she forgave her mother for not confronting George about the way he treated her...for choosing him. But thought it hurt her, she also understood why her mother had done it. George had saved her from the brink, when she was in that very dark place. She was afraid that if she lost him, she'd revert back to that place. So she forgave her mother so the two of them could enjoy the time they had left together. Then George would get home and it would get awkward. He would
mn
Finally coming out and telling her mother the truth about George as well as her plan to marry Sam had been cathartic for Josie. She felt a weight lifted off of her chest, yet at the same time there was a new kind of burden, that of the elephant in the room. At first, after the announcement, though her mother told her she wouldn't stand in the way of Josie's decision, life just seemed to go on as normal, as if they thought it just a phase and Josie would change her mind. It wasn't spoken of at all. Dinners consisted of pleasant, if not awkward, conversation and the few times Josie attempted to bring it up, it was met with a “we'll discuss it later” or an abrupt change of subject. George continued to make her feel uncomfortable, even more so, to Josie's dismay. Except for dinner, she tried to spend the majority of time in her bedroom.
So on they went, with this elephant in the room, not addressing it, until at last Josie announced that she was not going to finish out the school term. She hated the awkward loneliness she felt in school and, academically was beyond even the schoolmaster at this point. She was self-taught in most subjects and was a voracious reader. Though she loved learning and reading, she hated being at that school and wished instead to spend her last days at home with her mother and packing for her new life in Texas.
George and Charlotte had no choice but to accept Josie's decision. Time seemed to drag on. Josie was beyond excited to meet Sam in person and couldn't wait to be free of George yet she wanted to relish the time with her mother. They had a new traveling dress made for her, as well as a few dresses that would be appropriate to wear for a housewife working on the ranch. A few times she would sink into a bout of anxiety, worried that if truth be told, she knew little of what life on a ranch entailed. From what she knew, depending on the size and income of the ranch, she could be headed for an easy life as a wealthy rancher's wife or a life of drudgery if the ranch was struggling and unsuccessful. She wasn't sure exactly where the Dawson ranch fit into on that scale. One thing that came across through his letters was that Sam was extremely modest. He mentioned he wasn't very smart, yet the intelligence and writing skill he had spoke otherwise. What if it was a life of drudgery that life had in store for her? Or worse, what if it didn't work out? These were questions that consumed her. But she calmed herself by reading her father's Bible and Sam's love letters to her. They gave her reassurance that as long as she was with someone who loved her, she didn't care where she was or how hard she'd have to work to help her husband.
She was enjoying spending time with her mother during the days and was graceful that her mother didn't put up a fight at her decision to quit school. When George was gone, Josie felt like she could be herself, that she and her mother got along better, laughing and talking. She was able to do that because she forgave her mother for not confronting George about the way he treated her...for choosing him. But thought it hurt her, she also understood why her mother had done it. George had saved her from the brink, when she was in that very dark place. She was afraid that if she lost him, she'd revert back to that place. So she forgave her mother so the two of them could enjoy the time they had left together. Then George would get home and it would get awkward. He would
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