Read Online Magic for Beginners: Stories by Kelly Link - Free Book Online Page A

tell Catherine. “That
witch
,” she
said, and then bit her lip. “She called the listing agent? I’m
sorry. We talked about this. Never mind. Just give me a
moment.”
    Catherine inhaled. Exhaled. Inhaled. If she were Carleton, she
would hold her breath until her face turned red and Henry agreed to
stay home, but then again, it never worked for Carleton. “We ran
into our new neighbors in the grocery store. She’s about the same
age as me. Liz and Marcus. One kid, older, a girl, um, I think her
name was Alison, maybe from a first marriage—potential babysitter,
which is really good news. Liz is a lawyer. Gorgeous. Reads Oprah
books. He likes to cook.”
    “So do I,” Henry said.
    “You’re better looking,” Catherine said. “So do you have to go
back tonight, or can you take the train in the morning?”
    “The morning is fine,” Henry said, wanting to seem
agreeable.
    Carleton appeared in the kitchen, his arms pinned around King
Spanky’s middle. The cat’s front legs stuck straight out, as if
Carleton were dowsing. King Spanky’s eyes were closed. His whiskers
twitched Morse code. “What are you wearing?” Carleton said.
    “My new uniform,” Henry said. “I wear it to work.”
    “Where do you work?” Carleton said, testing.
    “I work at home,” Henry said. Catherine snorted.
    “He looks like the king of rabbits, doesn’t he? The
plenipotentiary of Rabbitaly,” she said, no longer sounding
particularly pleased about this.
    “He looks like a princess,” Carleton said, now pointing King
Spanky at Henry like a gun.
    “Where’s your grass collection?” Henry said. “Can I see it?”
    “No,” Carleton said. He put King Spanky on the floor, and the
cat slunk out of the kitchen, heading for the staircase, the
bedroom, the safety of the bedsprings, the beloved alarm clock, the
beloved. The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed and given to
evil habits, or else it can be a man in his late forties who works
too much, or it can be an alarm clock.
    “After dinner,” Henry said, trying again, “we could go out and
find a tree for your tire swing.”
    “No,” Carleton said, regretfully. He lingered in the kitchen,
hoping to be asked a question to which he could say yes.
    “Where’s your sister?” Henry said.
    “Watching television,” Carleton said. “I don’t like the
television here.”
    “It’s too big,” Henry said, but Catherine didn’t laugh.
     
    Henry dreams he is the king of the real estate agents. Henry
loves his job. He tries to sell a house to a young couple with
twitchy noses and big dark eyes. Why does he always dream that he’s
trying to sell things?
    The couple stare at him nervously. He leans towards them as if
he’s going to whisper something in their silly, expectant ears.
It’s a secret he’s never told anyone before. It’s a secret he
didn’t even know that he knew. “Let’s stop fooling,” he says. “You
can’t afford to buy this house. You don’t have any money. You’re
rabbits.”
     
    “Where do you work?” Carleton said, in the morning, when Henry
called from Grand Central.
    “I work at home,” Henry said. “Home where we live now, where you
are. Eventually. Just not today. Are you getting ready for
school?”
    Carleton put the phone down. Henry could hear him saying
something to Catherine. “He says he’s not nervous about school,”
she said. “He’s a brave kid.”
    “I kissed you this morning,” Henry said, “but you didn’t wake
up. There were all these rabbits on the lawn. They were huge. King
Spanky–sized. They were just sitting there like they were waiting
for the sun to come up. It was funny, like some kind of art
installation. But it was kind of creepy too. Think they’d been
there all night?”
    “Rabbits? Can they have rabies? I saw them this morning when I
got up,” Catherine said. “Carleton didn’t want to brush his teeth
this morning. He says something’s wrong with his toothbrush.”
    “Maybe he dropped it