Read Online Mad Worlds Collide by Tony Teora - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Tony Teora
Tags: Science Fiction/Fantasy
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Soon after the JiJi Legion for Peace bombed the Statue of Liberty with a hijacked 747, the US Defense Department put in a policy that all US transcontinental airliners had to use MicroIntel’s Assisted Security System software. The measures put into place after the World Trade Center’s meltdown were deemed ineffective against maniacs turning planes into missiles. MicroIntel Assisted Security Software came at the right time but the marketing became hell after a disgruntled employee named Judd shortened the name to "MI-ASS". Judd worked for ChipTucker, Director of Marketing for MicroIntel. Judd rushed Chip into signing the memo approving the name as the director hurried from the office, running late for a flight to Paris. Chip, who tried to hide the fact that he was gay, soon realized the mistake but it was too late. Making the best of a bad situation, Chip invented themarketing campaign slogan: "Using MI-ASS will save your ASS."
Gill heard about the campaign in Europe at a dinner meeting with AirBusLockeedMartin (ABLM). Gill knew Chip was gay,but didn’t care. Chip was the best marketing guy money could buy. Chipalways came out with a winning ad campaign, but this particular campaign concerned Gill.
Gill had Gerard Blutoire his trusted President of MicroIntel European Operations by his side. Across the table sat the ABLM General Manager, Plutz Berger. The restaurant, "Chez Antoine", was owned by a New York wiseguy named Tony who now went by "Antoine" for reasons Tony could never really explain. Tony was a friend of Gerard, and he had set them up in a private dining room. Gill needed government approval in Europe. Governments were a problem, but problems had solutions and John Plutz could fix things; Plutz had contacts with most airlines in Europe.
"So Gill, how will MI-ASS help ABLM?" asked Plutz.
Gill wiped his face with a white napkin. "Excuse me Plutz??"
"My ass, goddamn it!! What kind of fucking name is that for software?" Plutz demanded.
"It’s not a great name but it’s getting a lot of publicity …ah…that’s how the acronym worked out," Gill answered.
Gerard buttered his bread and looked over to Gill and then at Plutz. He knew Plutz was pissed. They were in marketing hell because of the name. Everyone was making jokes. One commercial used a double of Ex-President Schmidt, the first Jew to become President. He was also the first Jew to get impeached for sleeping with the Defense Secretary’s wife on Air Force One. The non-profit organization, "Friendly United Catholic Kingdom" (known by some as FUCK), created the Schmidt ad. FUCK had Schmidt’s double say: "We used MI-ASS on Air Force One. It can save your ass. T take it from me, even if you’re President, if you don’t have safe sex, you can kiss your ass goodbye.."
President Schmidt was suing the organization. The New York Postheadlined the story:
President suing FUCK for slander---What the FUCK is going on?
The terrible jokes continued.
Plutz continued: "Well, at least the technical guys say it’s a great piece of software, but they have one concern."
"What’s that? " asked Gill.
Gill knew the product was the most tested piece of software in history. It would fly all new commercial airplanes, and if there were signs of a plane flying off-course, or had a terrorist onboard, its controls could be overridden from the ground. The pilots only had to monitor the software. A twelve-year-old could learn it in two hours -- one if he played Nintendo.
John eyed Gill. "What do we do if a terrorist gets control from the ground? That would defeat the whole purpose, wouldn’t it? "
Gill and Gerard both knew this was the biggest concern. MicroIntel had spent millions to calm that fear. The MI-ASS system used the toughest encryption in the US. The software was semi-intelligent. One would need to reprogram it to crash rather than land. Even the ground controllers couldn’t send the plane into a crash pattern. This
Soon after the JiJi Legion for Peace bombed the Statue of Liberty with a hijacked 747, the US Defense Department put in a policy that all US transcontinental airliners had to use MicroIntel’s Assisted Security System software. The measures put into place after the World Trade Center’s meltdown were deemed ineffective against maniacs turning planes into missiles. MicroIntel Assisted Security Software came at the right time but the marketing became hell after a disgruntled employee named Judd shortened the name to "MI-ASS". Judd worked for ChipTucker, Director of Marketing for MicroIntel. Judd rushed Chip into signing the memo approving the name as the director hurried from the office, running late for a flight to Paris. Chip, who tried to hide the fact that he was gay, soon realized the mistake but it was too late. Making the best of a bad situation, Chip invented themarketing campaign slogan: "Using MI-ASS will save your ASS."
Gill heard about the campaign in Europe at a dinner meeting with AirBusLockeedMartin (ABLM). Gill knew Chip was gay,but didn’t care. Chip was the best marketing guy money could buy. Chipalways came out with a winning ad campaign, but this particular campaign concerned Gill.
Gill had Gerard Blutoire his trusted President of MicroIntel European Operations by his side. Across the table sat the ABLM General Manager, Plutz Berger. The restaurant, "Chez Antoine", was owned by a New York wiseguy named Tony who now went by "Antoine" for reasons Tony could never really explain. Tony was a friend of Gerard, and he had set them up in a private dining room. Gill needed government approval in Europe. Governments were a problem, but problems had solutions and John Plutz could fix things; Plutz had contacts with most airlines in Europe.
"So Gill, how will MI-ASS help ABLM?" asked Plutz.
Gill wiped his face with a white napkin. "Excuse me Plutz??"
"My ass, goddamn it!! What kind of fucking name is that for software?" Plutz demanded.
"It’s not a great name but it’s getting a lot of publicity …ah…that’s how the acronym worked out," Gill answered.
Gerard buttered his bread and looked over to Gill and then at Plutz. He knew Plutz was pissed. They were in marketing hell because of the name. Everyone was making jokes. One commercial used a double of Ex-President Schmidt, the first Jew to become President. He was also the first Jew to get impeached for sleeping with the Defense Secretary’s wife on Air Force One. The non-profit organization, "Friendly United Catholic Kingdom" (known by some as FUCK), created the Schmidt ad. FUCK had Schmidt’s double say: "We used MI-ASS on Air Force One. It can save your ass. T take it from me, even if you’re President, if you don’t have safe sex, you can kiss your ass goodbye.."
President Schmidt was suing the organization. The New York Postheadlined the story:
President suing FUCK for slander---What the FUCK is going on?
The terrible jokes continued.
Plutz continued: "Well, at least the technical guys say it’s a great piece of software, but they have one concern."
"What’s that? " asked Gill.
Gill knew the product was the most tested piece of software in history. It would fly all new commercial airplanes, and if there were signs of a plane flying off-course, or had a terrorist onboard, its controls could be overridden from the ground. The pilots only had to monitor the software. A twelve-year-old could learn it in two hours -- one if he played Nintendo.
John eyed Gill. "What do we do if a terrorist gets control from the ground? That would defeat the whole purpose, wouldn’t it? "
Gill and Gerard both knew this was the biggest concern. MicroIntel had spent millions to calm that fear. The MI-ASS system used the toughest encryption in the US. The software was semi-intelligent. One would need to reprogram it to crash rather than land. Even the ground controllers couldn’t send the plane into a crash pattern. This
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