Read Online MA07 MYTH Inc Link by Robert Asprin - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Robert Asprin
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it.
“So tell me, old chap,” I said. “What brought about this amazing reform? A good woman or a bad caper?”
“Neither, actually. The way it was, see, was that I was framed ... no, really, this time. I hadn’t done a thing, but all the evidence had me pegged for being guilty as sin. I thought I had really had it, but this guy pops up and backs me hard. I mean, he springs for a really good mouthpiece, and when the jury finds me guilty anyway, he talks to the judge and gets me a suspended sentence. As if that weren’t enough, after I’m loose again, he spots me the cash I need to start this place ... a nice no-interest loan. ‘Pay it back when you can,’ he sez. I’ll tell you, I ain’t never had anybody believe in me like that before. Kinda made me think things over about how I was always saying that I had to be a crook ‘cause no one would give me a fair shake. Well, sir, I decided to give the honest life a try ... and haven’t regretted it yet.”
“This mysterious benefactor you mentioned ... his name wouldn’t happen to be Hoos, would it?”
“That’s right, Chumley. Easily the finest man I’ve ever met. You see, I’m not the only one he’s helped out. Most of the people in this dimension have had some kind of hand up from him at one time or another. I’m not surprised you’ve heard of him.”
Tananda trotted out her best smile.
“That brings us to why I’m here, Weasel. I’m trying to find this Hoos character, and so far the locals haven’t been very helpful. Can you give me an introduction, or at least point me in a direction?”
The smile that had been on Weasel’s face disappeared as if he had just been told he was left out of a rich uncle’s will. His eyes lost their focus, and he licked his lips nervously.
“Sorry, Tananda,” he said. “Can’t help you there.”
“Wait a minute, old buddy.” Tananda’s smile was a little forced now. “You must know where to find him. Where do you make your payments on this place?”
“Made the last payment half a year ago. Now if you’ll excuse me...”
Tananda had him by the sleeve before he could take a step.
“You’re holding out on me, Weasel,” she snarled, abandoning any attempt at sweetness. “Now either you tell me where I can find this Hoos character or I’ll ...”
“You’ll what? Wreck the place? You’re a little late there, sweetheart. You want the last chair, be my guest. It doesn’t match the rest of the decor now, anyway.”
From little sister’s expression, I was pretty sure what she was thinking of destroying wasn’t the chair, so I thought I’d better get my oar in before things got completely out of hand.
“If you don’t mind my asking, old chap, is there any particular reason you’re being so obstinate over a simple request?”
Tananda gave me one of her “stay out of this” looks, but Weasel didn’t seem to mind the interruption.
“Are you kidding?” he said. “Maybe you weren’t listening, but I owe this guy ... a lot more than just paying back a loan. He gave me a chance to start over when everybody else had written me off. I’m supposed to show my appreciation by setting a couple of goons on his trail?”
“Goons?”
She said it very softly, but I don’t think anyone in the room mistook Tananda’s meaning. In fact, a few of her earlier playmates who were still conscious started crawling toward the door in an effort to put more distance between themselves and the pending explosion.
Weasel, however, remained uncowed.
“Yeah, goons. What happened in here a few minutes ago? An ice-cream social?”
“He’s got you there, little sister.”
That brought her head around with a snap.
“Shut up, Chumley!” she snarled. “This is my assignment. Remember?”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way. I do think Weasel has a point, though. You really don’t give the impression of someone who wants a peaceful chat.”
At first I thought she was going to go for my throat. Then she
“So tell me, old chap,” I said. “What brought about this amazing reform? A good woman or a bad caper?”
“Neither, actually. The way it was, see, was that I was framed ... no, really, this time. I hadn’t done a thing, but all the evidence had me pegged for being guilty as sin. I thought I had really had it, but this guy pops up and backs me hard. I mean, he springs for a really good mouthpiece, and when the jury finds me guilty anyway, he talks to the judge and gets me a suspended sentence. As if that weren’t enough, after I’m loose again, he spots me the cash I need to start this place ... a nice no-interest loan. ‘Pay it back when you can,’ he sez. I’ll tell you, I ain’t never had anybody believe in me like that before. Kinda made me think things over about how I was always saying that I had to be a crook ‘cause no one would give me a fair shake. Well, sir, I decided to give the honest life a try ... and haven’t regretted it yet.”
“This mysterious benefactor you mentioned ... his name wouldn’t happen to be Hoos, would it?”
“That’s right, Chumley. Easily the finest man I’ve ever met. You see, I’m not the only one he’s helped out. Most of the people in this dimension have had some kind of hand up from him at one time or another. I’m not surprised you’ve heard of him.”
Tananda trotted out her best smile.
“That brings us to why I’m here, Weasel. I’m trying to find this Hoos character, and so far the locals haven’t been very helpful. Can you give me an introduction, or at least point me in a direction?”
The smile that had been on Weasel’s face disappeared as if he had just been told he was left out of a rich uncle’s will. His eyes lost their focus, and he licked his lips nervously.
“Sorry, Tananda,” he said. “Can’t help you there.”
“Wait a minute, old buddy.” Tananda’s smile was a little forced now. “You must know where to find him. Where do you make your payments on this place?”
“Made the last payment half a year ago. Now if you’ll excuse me...”
Tananda had him by the sleeve before he could take a step.
“You’re holding out on me, Weasel,” she snarled, abandoning any attempt at sweetness. “Now either you tell me where I can find this Hoos character or I’ll ...”
“You’ll what? Wreck the place? You’re a little late there, sweetheart. You want the last chair, be my guest. It doesn’t match the rest of the decor now, anyway.”
From little sister’s expression, I was pretty sure what she was thinking of destroying wasn’t the chair, so I thought I’d better get my oar in before things got completely out of hand.
“If you don’t mind my asking, old chap, is there any particular reason you’re being so obstinate over a simple request?”
Tananda gave me one of her “stay out of this” looks, but Weasel didn’t seem to mind the interruption.
“Are you kidding?” he said. “Maybe you weren’t listening, but I owe this guy ... a lot more than just paying back a loan. He gave me a chance to start over when everybody else had written me off. I’m supposed to show my appreciation by setting a couple of goons on his trail?”
“Goons?”
She said it very softly, but I don’t think anyone in the room mistook Tananda’s meaning. In fact, a few of her earlier playmates who were still conscious started crawling toward the door in an effort to put more distance between themselves and the pending explosion.
Weasel, however, remained uncowed.
“Yeah, goons. What happened in here a few minutes ago? An ice-cream social?”
“He’s got you there, little sister.”
That brought her head around with a snap.
“Shut up, Chumley!” she snarled. “This is my assignment. Remember?”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way. I do think Weasel has a point, though. You really don’t give the impression of someone who wants a peaceful chat.”
At first I thought she was going to go for my throat. Then she
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