Read Online MA06 Little Myth Marker by Robert Asprin - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Robert Asprin
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important.”
“I know,” Aahz sighed, not looking at me. “I hadn’t bothered to teach you about elemental magic ... just like I hadn’t taught you about dragon poker.”
No explosion! I was starting to get a little worried about my partner.
“Aren’t you upset?”
“Of course I’m upset,” he said, favoring me with a fleeting glimpse of bared teeth, a barely recognizable smile. “Do you think I’m always this jovial?”
“I mean, aren’t you mad?”
“Oh, I’m past ‘mad.’ I’m all the way to ‘thoughtful.’”
I arrived at the startling conclusion that I liked it better when Aahz was shouting and unreasonable. That I knew how to deal with. This latest mood of his was a total unknown.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Parenthood.”
“Parenthood?”
“Yeah. You know, that state of total responsibility for another being? Well, at least, that’s the theory.” I wasn’t sure I was following this at all.
“Aahz? Are you trying to say you feel responsible for what happened with Markie because you hadn’t taught me more about magic and poker?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“But that’s silly!”
“I know,” he replied, with his first honest grin since I had entered the garden. “That’s what got me thinking about parenthood.”
I abandoned any hope of following his logic.
“You’ll have to explain it to me, Aahz. I’m a little slow today.” He straightened up a bit, draping one arm around my shoulders. “I’ll try, but it isn’t easy,” he said in a tone that was almost conversational. “You see, regardless of what I said when I was ranting at you about how much of a problem Markie was going to be, it’s been a long time since I was a parent. I’ve been sitting here, trying to remember what it was like. What’s so surprising to me is the realization that I’ve never really stopped. Nobody does.”
I started to shift uncomfortably.
“Hear me out. For once I’m trying to share some of my hard-won lessons with you without shouting. Forget the theories of parenthood! What it’s really all about is taking pride in things you can never be sure you had a hand in, and accepting the responsibility and guilt for things you either didn’t know or had no control over. Actually, it’s a lot more complicated than that, but that’s the bare bones of the matter.”
“You don’t make it sound particularly attractive,” I observed.
“In a lot of ways, it isn’t. Your kid expects you to know everything ... to be able to answer any question he asks and, more important, to provide a logical explanation of what is essentially an illogical world. Society, on the other hand, expects you to train your kid in everything necessary for them to become a successful, responsible member of the community ... even if you aren’t yourself. The problem is that you aren’t the only source of input for the kid. Friends, schools, and other adults are all supplying other opinions, many of which you don’t agree with. That means that if your kid succeeds, you don’t really know if it was because of or in spite of your influence. On the other hand, if the kid goes bad, you always wonder if there was something else you could have said or done differently that could have salvaged things before they hit the wall.”
His hand tightened slightly on my shoulder, but I don’t think he did it consciously.
“Now, I wasn’t a particularly good parent ... which I like to think places me in the majority. I didn’t interact much with my kids. Business was always a good excuse, but the truth was that I was glad to let someone else handle their upbringing as much as possible. I can see now that it was because I was afraid that if I tried to do it myself, that in my ignorance and uncertainty I would make some terrible mistake. The end result was that some of the kids turned out okay, some of them ... let’s say less than okay. What I was left with was a nagging feeling that I could have
“I know,” Aahz sighed, not looking at me. “I hadn’t bothered to teach you about elemental magic ... just like I hadn’t taught you about dragon poker.”
No explosion! I was starting to get a little worried about my partner.
“Aren’t you upset?”
“Of course I’m upset,” he said, favoring me with a fleeting glimpse of bared teeth, a barely recognizable smile. “Do you think I’m always this jovial?”
“I mean, aren’t you mad?”
“Oh, I’m past ‘mad.’ I’m all the way to ‘thoughtful.’”
I arrived at the startling conclusion that I liked it better when Aahz was shouting and unreasonable. That I knew how to deal with. This latest mood of his was a total unknown.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Parenthood.”
“Parenthood?”
“Yeah. You know, that state of total responsibility for another being? Well, at least, that’s the theory.” I wasn’t sure I was following this at all.
“Aahz? Are you trying to say you feel responsible for what happened with Markie because you hadn’t taught me more about magic and poker?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“But that’s silly!”
“I know,” he replied, with his first honest grin since I had entered the garden. “That’s what got me thinking about parenthood.”
I abandoned any hope of following his logic.
“You’ll have to explain it to me, Aahz. I’m a little slow today.” He straightened up a bit, draping one arm around my shoulders. “I’ll try, but it isn’t easy,” he said in a tone that was almost conversational. “You see, regardless of what I said when I was ranting at you about how much of a problem Markie was going to be, it’s been a long time since I was a parent. I’ve been sitting here, trying to remember what it was like. What’s so surprising to me is the realization that I’ve never really stopped. Nobody does.”
I started to shift uncomfortably.
“Hear me out. For once I’m trying to share some of my hard-won lessons with you without shouting. Forget the theories of parenthood! What it’s really all about is taking pride in things you can never be sure you had a hand in, and accepting the responsibility and guilt for things you either didn’t know or had no control over. Actually, it’s a lot more complicated than that, but that’s the bare bones of the matter.”
“You don’t make it sound particularly attractive,” I observed.
“In a lot of ways, it isn’t. Your kid expects you to know everything ... to be able to answer any question he asks and, more important, to provide a logical explanation of what is essentially an illogical world. Society, on the other hand, expects you to train your kid in everything necessary for them to become a successful, responsible member of the community ... even if you aren’t yourself. The problem is that you aren’t the only source of input for the kid. Friends, schools, and other adults are all supplying other opinions, many of which you don’t agree with. That means that if your kid succeeds, you don’t really know if it was because of or in spite of your influence. On the other hand, if the kid goes bad, you always wonder if there was something else you could have said or done differently that could have salvaged things before they hit the wall.”
His hand tightened slightly on my shoulder, but I don’t think he did it consciously.
“Now, I wasn’t a particularly good parent ... which I like to think places me in the majority. I didn’t interact much with my kids. Business was always a good excuse, but the truth was that I was glad to let someone else handle their upbringing as much as possible. I can see now that it was because I was afraid that if I tried to do it myself, that in my ignorance and uncertainty I would make some terrible mistake. The end result was that some of the kids turned out okay, some of them ... let’s say less than okay. What I was left with was a nagging feeling that I could have
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