how my grades would suffer.
During the middle of my French lesson ninth period, I started to daydream. I don’t know why Lukas came to mind, yet as in most of my thoughts of Lukas, I couldn’t help smiling and imagining his boyish charming looks. The sunny warmth I always found with him, not like the eruptive feelings Gavin gave me. Lukas was calm, steady and spirited. Everything I wasn’t.
Our conversation the other night started playing through my head. The way things ended tugged at my heart as I remembered the hurt and disappointment swimming in his eyes. I never in my wildest dreams (no pun intended) thought that my day life would compete with my night life so to speak. The fact that Lukas knew about Gavin, but Gavin didn’t know about Lukas in some bizarre and misplaced way made me feel dishonest and regretfully. Like I was cheating on one of them, which was completely insane since in reality I wasn’t dating either one of them. Not that I wouldn’t if I was given the opportunity. Maybe that was it. Maybe somewhere deep inside me I was holding out for one of them. Again how any of this made sense was beyond my comprehension. It was inhumanly possible for me to even have a normal relationship with Lukas. Why did I continue to torment myself with possibilities that weren’t there?
My impractical internal struggle was interrupted by the familiar buzzing of my phone. I carefully snuck it from the front pocket of my jeans. We weren’t allowed to text during class, but that hardly stopped anyone. The trick was to not get caught.
Tori’s name blinked under new messages. Mall on Friday? It was followed by a line of smileys.
We hadn’t hung out in a millennium. My life lately was divided between Gavin and the shop. He’d come over on the nights I didn’t work in the disguise of doing our chemistry assignments, which of course we did – or I did. There were always a few tense moments that boiled my blood. The short amount of time we spent together felt nothing comparable to a few weeks. Our friendship or whatever we had going progressed rapidly. I didn’t want Tori to feel ignored. And the blame weighed heavily on my decision.
I inconspicuously texted back as my French teacher lecture on our vocabulary.
Sure… I’ll pick you up after school .
Great I’m in need of some therapy .
I grinned at my phone. Only Tori could think of spending her dad’s money as therapy.
Chapter 8
THE MALL ON A FRIDAY night wasn’t exactly my revenue of choice. I enjoyed shopping like the majority of girls; I just like to do it without the crowds. Tori was a shop-a-holic. While I spent most of my time window shopping, she needed a valet to help her to the car. My part-time check only went so far. But when you had a credit card with daddy’s infinite limit on it, I might enjoy the experience in whole new light.
For someone who never had to worry about money, Tori was the least snobbish person I knew. She shopped – I read. Somewhere along the lines of first grade we became friends and found a balance between the two.
High-end shops lined the shopping center on two floors, the ones were they pump perfume or cologne throughout the store so when you walked by it tempted with a fragrance of seduction. Located at the heart of the mall was the food court. Tonight the over-priced stores were jammed with teenagers causing a ruckus. Guys were scoping out desperate girls with too much make-up wearing clothes two-sizes too small. Rianne totally came to mind. I gave up on the whole mall scene while Tori found it mildly amusing. The lack of entertainment was evident in my peer’s choice of hangouts.
“Check out the buns on Mr. Abercrombie,” she said to a guy we passed on the escalator.
I elbowed her in the side. “Focus.”
“Oh I get it. Now that you have a hot guy to drool over the rest of us have suffer without. At least let me check out the merchandise.”
I laughed. She could be so dramatic when she wanted to
During the middle of my French lesson ninth period, I started to daydream. I don’t know why Lukas came to mind, yet as in most of my thoughts of Lukas, I couldn’t help smiling and imagining his boyish charming looks. The sunny warmth I always found with him, not like the eruptive feelings Gavin gave me. Lukas was calm, steady and spirited. Everything I wasn’t.
Our conversation the other night started playing through my head. The way things ended tugged at my heart as I remembered the hurt and disappointment swimming in his eyes. I never in my wildest dreams (no pun intended) thought that my day life would compete with my night life so to speak. The fact that Lukas knew about Gavin, but Gavin didn’t know about Lukas in some bizarre and misplaced way made me feel dishonest and regretfully. Like I was cheating on one of them, which was completely insane since in reality I wasn’t dating either one of them. Not that I wouldn’t if I was given the opportunity. Maybe that was it. Maybe somewhere deep inside me I was holding out for one of them. Again how any of this made sense was beyond my comprehension. It was inhumanly possible for me to even have a normal relationship with Lukas. Why did I continue to torment myself with possibilities that weren’t there?
My impractical internal struggle was interrupted by the familiar buzzing of my phone. I carefully snuck it from the front pocket of my jeans. We weren’t allowed to text during class, but that hardly stopped anyone. The trick was to not get caught.
Tori’s name blinked under new messages. Mall on Friday? It was followed by a line of smileys.
We hadn’t hung out in a millennium. My life lately was divided between Gavin and the shop. He’d come over on the nights I didn’t work in the disguise of doing our chemistry assignments, which of course we did – or I did. There were always a few tense moments that boiled my blood. The short amount of time we spent together felt nothing comparable to a few weeks. Our friendship or whatever we had going progressed rapidly. I didn’t want Tori to feel ignored. And the blame weighed heavily on my decision.
I inconspicuously texted back as my French teacher lecture on our vocabulary.
Sure… I’ll pick you up after school .
Great I’m in need of some therapy .
I grinned at my phone. Only Tori could think of spending her dad’s money as therapy.
Chapter 8
THE MALL ON A FRIDAY night wasn’t exactly my revenue of choice. I enjoyed shopping like the majority of girls; I just like to do it without the crowds. Tori was a shop-a-holic. While I spent most of my time window shopping, she needed a valet to help her to the car. My part-time check only went so far. But when you had a credit card with daddy’s infinite limit on it, I might enjoy the experience in whole new light.
For someone who never had to worry about money, Tori was the least snobbish person I knew. She shopped – I read. Somewhere along the lines of first grade we became friends and found a balance between the two.
High-end shops lined the shopping center on two floors, the ones were they pump perfume or cologne throughout the store so when you walked by it tempted with a fragrance of seduction. Located at the heart of the mall was the food court. Tonight the over-priced stores were jammed with teenagers causing a ruckus. Guys were scoping out desperate girls with too much make-up wearing clothes two-sizes too small. Rianne totally came to mind. I gave up on the whole mall scene while Tori found it mildly amusing. The lack of entertainment was evident in my peer’s choice of hangouts.
“Check out the buns on Mr. Abercrombie,” she said to a guy we passed on the escalator.
I elbowed her in the side. “Focus.”
“Oh I get it. Now that you have a hot guy to drool over the rest of us have suffer without. At least let me check out the merchandise.”
I laughed. She could be so dramatic when she wanted to
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