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thing in reply to the captain’s baiting, there was a very great difference between not wanting to kiss your intended and knowing that your intended did not wish to kiss you.
    God curse the man for putting a question mark into my head where none had the right to be!
    But as soon as I had thought it, I knew that I had sinned. No man deserved to be cursed. And so, as I walked along, I prayed.
    “Dear God, please forgive me. A man such as the captain, controlled by carnal lust, though he chose his words deliberately for the purpose of teasing and baiting, and though he sees chastity as no virtue . . . though he mocks our ways at every possibility and turns every good thought into a jest . . .”
    Was it even possible for God to save such a man?
    “Though his time with us is short, may he see his errors and revel in your grace and become a convert to your truth.”
    Even though he lies incessantly.
    “May it be done through your wisdom and according to your mercy. May I see him on the far side of eternity, a redeemed soul.”
    Though you would not make me speak to him, God, would you?
    “Amen.”
    Would you?

10
    THOMAS RETURNED FROM THE WATCH AT THE rising of the sun.
    I was ready for him, pulling his doublet from his shoulders and offering him a jug of water with which to wash his face. The biscuits I placed before him were enriched with a precious handful of wheat flour, and the cheese I offered was the creamiest that was left us.
    He followed the food with a cup of cider. And then he stood and took his doublet from the peg where I had hung it.
    “Can you not take even a small rest?”
    He turned round and looked at me, his face without any expression, red-rimmed eyes looking into mine. Smudges pressed into the space beneath his eyes made his skin seem even paler. “Nay. But thank you for thinking of me.”
    I blushed, for I had thought of him.
    One corner of his mouth lifted in an attempt at a smile, and then he was gone. Out the door and to the smithery.
    Aye, I had thought of him. And worse, I had shown it.

    The captain came back the next morning as Nathaniel and Father were headed out. Mother placed his food before him as Mary and I began our labors. I endeavored to ignore him as we prepared for the day’s task: cheese making. I poured a quantity of milk into a kettle, Mary added some rennet to it, and together we hung it above the fire.
    As we worked we stepped around several tool handles that Father had placed in the ashes to season. Had that been the only thing he had subjected them to, none of us would have minded. But he had soaked them first in manure for a full two weeks before he had brought them in to Mother. And manure smoked just as well as wood. Maybe better. Worse. Mother had muttered at her work throughout the whole of the day that he had laid them down.
    Once the milk and rennet began to bubble, it was Mother’s task to watch it work. And it was our task to begin the preparations for dinner. By the time we sat to eat, the whey had been set aside for use on the morrow and the cheese wrapped in dry cloths.
    Supper was nearly upon us when I went outside to get some firewood. The captain surprised me with his presence near the fence. “Would you wish to walk?”
    I eyed the garden before us, looking for some task that needed to be done, but I could see none. Mary and I had worked too hard at weeding that forenoon. “Why?” The thought of his comments the previous night still had the power to pink my cheeks when I remembered them. Not that I had very often. Nor failed to follow them quickly with some thought of John.
    “For the pleasure of another’s company on a pleasant summer’s evening.”
    Surely he must be jesting. “There is more than walking that needs be done this day!”
    “And I am sure that with your industry, you shall accomplish it. But why not take two minutes to accompany me? To walk beside me. To appreciate the beauty in the evening that lays itself before us.”
    “It can be