Love Simmers
it out.
It’s only the same thing I’ve wanted from you all along,” his voice
was softer now, as if my tears had extinguished his
anger.
    “ It won’t work
between us.” I wiped my eyes, beginning to doubt my own words. I
wanted it to work between us. Where there was a will there was a
way. Or so my mum had always claimed.
    “ How would you
know?” He replied, “you never tried.”
    He walked away and I wanted to
smash something. I wasn’t equipped to handle the emotions he
brought out in me. They terrified me, left me torn open and exposed
in a way I didn’t like. I think I’d rather be naked in front of a
crowd than this emotionally raw.
    Ollie came back into the
kitchen. Taking a look at my tears he said, “Want me to rough him
up?”
    I chuckled, wiping away the
last of my tears.
    “ Shouldn’t you
be wanting to rough me up for hurting your best friend and business
partner?”
    “ We shared a
womb,” Ollie joked.
    We went back to the work at
hand without another word about Nate. Ollie turned out to be
unexpectedly good at making bread. I was a great teacher though.
Someone should give me my own cooking show.
    That evening, I went back to
Ollie and Nate’s after checking in with Maddie. I needed a good
night’s sleep on a bed before the opening.
    When I walked through the door
the smell of roast beef tantalized my senses. I hoped Nate had
cooked enough for two and wasn’t holding a grudge.
    I passed the dining room table,
noticing the romantic setting for two; flowers, candles the works.
I wondered if Nate had a date tonight.
    “ It’s for you,”
he said from behind me.
    I looked at him stunned,
turning back to the beautiful table. “Why?”
    “ Because you
owe me a chance to prove to you how well I know you. And the first
thing I know about you is roast beef and vegetables is your
favourite meal.”
    “ Anyone who
reads my cookbook knows that,” I countered.
    “ Does it tell
them how much you love B-rate natural horror movies or even how
much you love alpacas?”
    “ Alpacas are an
underrated animal.” I smiled as he pulled the chair back for
me.
    He sat down and poured me a
glass of peach ice tea, my favourite non-alcoholic drink.
    “ We’ve never
been on a date before,” I blurted out, not quite sure what to say
to him now that we were alone, calm and having a civilised
conversation.
    “ You don’t
count us having sex on my sailboat the night of Prom as a
date?”

Chapter Twelve
     
    “ If it was,
then that was a good first date,” I said.
    I thought back to that night,
remembering how cherished Nate had made me feel. He’d been gentle
and considerate yet passionate. He’d brought me a coffee and
chocolate croissant the next morning.
    “ I definitely
thought there’d be a second date but before I knew it you were
gone,” his words brought me back to the present.
    “ Would you have
left town with me?” I wondered if I’d given him a second and third
and fourth date and then my heart if he’d have moved with me. His
comment the other day was stuck in my head. I had never asked about
his future plans back then. I’d just assumed he wanted to stay like
Ollie.
    “ Yes, I would
have. But you never asked. I don’t think you really wanted me at
that point in your life.”
    I wanted to argue but I knew
there was no point. He was right. I’d wanted to go alone and
accomplish my life goals. I’d wanted to know who I was on my own
before I’d figured out who I was as a couple. Even at the expense
of sacrificing Nate. Now, I was afraid that I couldn’t be in a
relationship, I was so set in my ways.
    “ No, I didn’t.
I regret those choices now,” I spoke honestly, appreciating the
irony of my regret. When I’d left him I thought I’d regret never
seeing the world on my own. Being that girl who met a guy in high
school and stayed with him. Either way I guess I was going to have
regrets. Nearly everyone did.
    “ I don’t want
your regrets. I want you to try this time

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