Read Online Love Me Forever by Ari Thatcher - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Ari Thatcher
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whatever I can get.”
Slapping her ass, he rolled to his knees. “Then we’d better get inside or someone will find us. I don’t think I can stay quiet this next time. Last one in the shower has to do dishes tomorrow.”
~*~
Jen sat on the pillow, the hotel’s headboard digging into her back. Matt’d gone to work an hour earlier and she needed to find something to fill her day.
Why was that so hard to do? When she’d planned this trip, seemingly a lifetime ago, she’d filled her days with excursions. Her list was somewhere around the room, but she didn’t get up to look for it.
Instead she stared blankly at the empty television screen .
Matt hadn’t said anything specific, but she could tell he wanted her to stay in Hawaii. Little turns of phrase sounded like long - range plans, not passing comments. And she wanted to stay.
If they’d gotten together after college, would she have chosen a career that fulfilled her? They could have married and had a house full of kids.
There was no point in trying to imagine it. They were different people now, with so many more life experiences behind them. Who they used to be had no reflection on their chances for a successful relationship now.
Is that what she wanted? A full relationship with Matt? They could try long distance. She could fly out on vacation a couple times a year. He could do the same. Perhaps even a few weekends here and there if she found some discount flights.
It was better than nothing. They would have a chance to find out if what they felt was real, or just the memory of first love lost.
She sighed and drew up her knees, resting her arms across them. If they did have something real between them, at some point they would need to pick a place to live together.
Matt had his business there on Maui. He couldn’t just walk away from that and find a new job in Podunk , Missouri.
So she would be the one expected to move. She’d have to leave the job she hadn’t even begun yet, sell her house in a weak market, give up everything she’d finally obtained on her own.
Again. She would give up her life for a man again.
But Matt wasn’t like Ted. He wasn’t controlling. He’d never ask her to completely turn her life over to him.
She could try to find a job at a nursing home on the island. There had to be a few, or a senior center where she could coordinate activities. Old people could be found wherever she went, it wasn’t as if the Midwest held the only supply of seniors.
She shifted again, crossing her ankles to sit tailor-style. For that matter, she hadn’t started her job yet. There wouldn’t be any real repercussions from bowing out now, before she started. She could rent out her home until the market improved. Real estate was a sound investment in the long run, wasn’t it?
But where would she be if they didn’t work out?
She’d be in the same spot as when she divorced. She’d have to find a job all over again.
This was so stupid! She had a job. She had the dream job she always wanted, one with potential to advance. One with retirement and benefits and paid vacation and…and…
And no Matt .
Tears welled before spilling free. Her breaths came in gasps but she was damned if she would cry. Why did it always come to this? The choice between a man and her dreams? God, she would have been better off living in a time when a man was the only dream she needed.
She couldn’t do this. Not again. She knew herself well enough to know if there were any chance of a life with Matt, she would walk away from anything and everything to make it work.
She wasn’t ready to do that. And she wasn’t strong enough to put her foot down. Hell, she’d only come to realize a short time ago that she had choices again. She couldn’t give it up.
Curling on her side, burying her face in her pillow, she let the tears come. The ache. The gut-tearing pain that came with walking away.
When she could see again and speak without her voice catching, she picked up
Slapping her ass, he rolled to his knees. “Then we’d better get inside or someone will find us. I don’t think I can stay quiet this next time. Last one in the shower has to do dishes tomorrow.”
~*~
Jen sat on the pillow, the hotel’s headboard digging into her back. Matt’d gone to work an hour earlier and she needed to find something to fill her day.
Why was that so hard to do? When she’d planned this trip, seemingly a lifetime ago, she’d filled her days with excursions. Her list was somewhere around the room, but she didn’t get up to look for it.
Instead she stared blankly at the empty television screen .
Matt hadn’t said anything specific, but she could tell he wanted her to stay in Hawaii. Little turns of phrase sounded like long - range plans, not passing comments. And she wanted to stay.
If they’d gotten together after college, would she have chosen a career that fulfilled her? They could have married and had a house full of kids.
There was no point in trying to imagine it. They were different people now, with so many more life experiences behind them. Who they used to be had no reflection on their chances for a successful relationship now.
Is that what she wanted? A full relationship with Matt? They could try long distance. She could fly out on vacation a couple times a year. He could do the same. Perhaps even a few weekends here and there if she found some discount flights.
It was better than nothing. They would have a chance to find out if what they felt was real, or just the memory of first love lost.
She sighed and drew up her knees, resting her arms across them. If they did have something real between them, at some point they would need to pick a place to live together.
Matt had his business there on Maui. He couldn’t just walk away from that and find a new job in Podunk , Missouri.
So she would be the one expected to move. She’d have to leave the job she hadn’t even begun yet, sell her house in a weak market, give up everything she’d finally obtained on her own.
Again. She would give up her life for a man again.
But Matt wasn’t like Ted. He wasn’t controlling. He’d never ask her to completely turn her life over to him.
She could try to find a job at a nursing home on the island. There had to be a few, or a senior center where she could coordinate activities. Old people could be found wherever she went, it wasn’t as if the Midwest held the only supply of seniors.
She shifted again, crossing her ankles to sit tailor-style. For that matter, she hadn’t started her job yet. There wouldn’t be any real repercussions from bowing out now, before she started. She could rent out her home until the market improved. Real estate was a sound investment in the long run, wasn’t it?
But where would she be if they didn’t work out?
She’d be in the same spot as when she divorced. She’d have to find a job all over again.
This was so stupid! She had a job. She had the dream job she always wanted, one with potential to advance. One with retirement and benefits and paid vacation and…and…
And no Matt .
Tears welled before spilling free. Her breaths came in gasps but she was damned if she would cry. Why did it always come to this? The choice between a man and her dreams? God, she would have been better off living in a time when a man was the only dream she needed.
She couldn’t do this. Not again. She knew herself well enough to know if there were any chance of a life with Matt, she would walk away from anything and everything to make it work.
She wasn’t ready to do that. And she wasn’t strong enough to put her foot down. Hell, she’d only come to realize a short time ago that she had choices again. She couldn’t give it up.
Curling on her side, burying her face in her pillow, she let the tears come. The ache. The gut-tearing pain that came with walking away.
When she could see again and speak without her voice catching, she picked up
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