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Authors: Tess Highcroft
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“Really?”
“Uh–huh.”
“Oh!” Beth jumps up and down, runs after her husband. “Jed! You’ll never believe it … hope you’re ready to dance!”
***
Jocelyn begins seeing Charlotte everywhere. At the grocery store she’s surprised to see that someone as perfect as Charlotte eats Froot Loops. How do you know they’re for her? Maybe she keeps them at her house for Lucas. Maybe they’re living together …
Jocelyn turns her face away, grabs a box of green tea from the opposite side of the aisle and keeps moving. At least they’re not actually shopping together . She tells herself that’s a good sign.
The same afternoon, she rounds the corner at the drug store to see Charlotte peering down first one aisle, then the next. Jocelyn holds her breath to see which one she’ll choose. Feminine hygiene? Or contraceptives, with all its fancy condoms and heavy–duty lubes?
Feminine hygiene. Bingo . Another good sign.
Jocelyn tries not to think further. Tries not to analyse what makes her think these are good signs. For one thing, it could be that drug–store lube is far too mainstream for Charlotte and Lucas, and that they buy all their sex accessories from some hard–core, super–kinky sex shop. For another thing, even if their relationship isn’t shit–hot — even if he isn’t living with her, and they aren’t having creative, acrobatic, athletic, mind–blowing sex — how does that help her? It’s not like it’s an either–or; ‘if not Charlotte, then Jocelyn’. She never sees him, so it’s far more likely to be ‘if not Charlotte, then the next random girl’.
Jocelyn’s in the community centre change room after a spin class, when Charlotte and a friend come in after yoga. “God, I wish I could just stay in my yoga clothes for the rest of the night,” Charlotte’s saying.
“I know,” the friend says. “But it’s nice of him to take you out. I mean, you told him you wanted him to make an effort, right?”
Charlotte sighs. “You’re right. I’m probably an ungrateful bitch. I thought I was bored with the stuff we were doing. But maybe not. Maybe I’m just bored with him. And, if I am, what does that say about me? He’s perfectly nice. There’s nothing wrong with him.”
“He is nice, Char. But …”
“But what?”
Jocelyn steals a glance at them. The friend shrugs. “But you have to be happy. You have to follow your heart.” She pats Charlotte’s perfect, smooth, just–tanned–enough shoulder. “Whatever. You don’t have to figure it out right now.”
Charlotte smiles. “Right again. I’d better get ready so I at least look like I made an effort.”
As Jocelyn gathers her things together, she tries to hate Charlotte. Tries to think of her as an ungrateful bitch. But Charlotte’s just adding to the very chain Jocelyn was bemoaning when it came to her and Ade. So, Ade–likes–Jocelyn, but Jocelyn–likes–Lucas. And Lucas–likes–Charlotte, but Charlotte–might–not–like–Lucas. Right? Wrong? Jocelyn doesn’t even know anymore.
All she knows is the whacking Lucas crush she’s carrying around shows no signs of loosening its grip. And it’s aptly named. The intensity of it crushes her.
Instead of eavesdropping on Charlotte making her feel better, somehow it just intensifies her despair. Charlotte’s assessment of Lucas reminds Jocelyn he’s no super–hero — there’s nothing over–the–top unbelievable about him — except to her. For whatever reason something in him clicked with something in her and, as much as she hoped he felt it too, he either didn’t or he’s been able to completely suppress it.
And that leaves her, where? It’s taken this long for her to feel that with a guy she can’t have; what are the chances of her feeling it anytime soon with someone who’ll like her back?
She’s tempted to go straight back in and do another spin class just to help take her mind off it.
Chapter Nine
(5:55)
I T FEELS FUNNY BEING back on
“Uh–huh.”
“Oh!” Beth jumps up and down, runs after her husband. “Jed! You’ll never believe it … hope you’re ready to dance!”
***
Jocelyn begins seeing Charlotte everywhere. At the grocery store she’s surprised to see that someone as perfect as Charlotte eats Froot Loops. How do you know they’re for her? Maybe she keeps them at her house for Lucas. Maybe they’re living together …
Jocelyn turns her face away, grabs a box of green tea from the opposite side of the aisle and keeps moving. At least they’re not actually shopping together . She tells herself that’s a good sign.
The same afternoon, she rounds the corner at the drug store to see Charlotte peering down first one aisle, then the next. Jocelyn holds her breath to see which one she’ll choose. Feminine hygiene? Or contraceptives, with all its fancy condoms and heavy–duty lubes?
Feminine hygiene. Bingo . Another good sign.
Jocelyn tries not to think further. Tries not to analyse what makes her think these are good signs. For one thing, it could be that drug–store lube is far too mainstream for Charlotte and Lucas, and that they buy all their sex accessories from some hard–core, super–kinky sex shop. For another thing, even if their relationship isn’t shit–hot — even if he isn’t living with her, and they aren’t having creative, acrobatic, athletic, mind–blowing sex — how does that help her? It’s not like it’s an either–or; ‘if not Charlotte, then Jocelyn’. She never sees him, so it’s far more likely to be ‘if not Charlotte, then the next random girl’.
Jocelyn’s in the community centre change room after a spin class, when Charlotte and a friend come in after yoga. “God, I wish I could just stay in my yoga clothes for the rest of the night,” Charlotte’s saying.
“I know,” the friend says. “But it’s nice of him to take you out. I mean, you told him you wanted him to make an effort, right?”
Charlotte sighs. “You’re right. I’m probably an ungrateful bitch. I thought I was bored with the stuff we were doing. But maybe not. Maybe I’m just bored with him. And, if I am, what does that say about me? He’s perfectly nice. There’s nothing wrong with him.”
“He is nice, Char. But …”
“But what?”
Jocelyn steals a glance at them. The friend shrugs. “But you have to be happy. You have to follow your heart.” She pats Charlotte’s perfect, smooth, just–tanned–enough shoulder. “Whatever. You don’t have to figure it out right now.”
Charlotte smiles. “Right again. I’d better get ready so I at least look like I made an effort.”
As Jocelyn gathers her things together, she tries to hate Charlotte. Tries to think of her as an ungrateful bitch. But Charlotte’s just adding to the very chain Jocelyn was bemoaning when it came to her and Ade. So, Ade–likes–Jocelyn, but Jocelyn–likes–Lucas. And Lucas–likes–Charlotte, but Charlotte–might–not–like–Lucas. Right? Wrong? Jocelyn doesn’t even know anymore.
All she knows is the whacking Lucas crush she’s carrying around shows no signs of loosening its grip. And it’s aptly named. The intensity of it crushes her.
Instead of eavesdropping on Charlotte making her feel better, somehow it just intensifies her despair. Charlotte’s assessment of Lucas reminds Jocelyn he’s no super–hero — there’s nothing over–the–top unbelievable about him — except to her. For whatever reason something in him clicked with something in her and, as much as she hoped he felt it too, he either didn’t or he’s been able to completely suppress it.
And that leaves her, where? It’s taken this long for her to feel that with a guy she can’t have; what are the chances of her feeling it anytime soon with someone who’ll like her back?
She’s tempted to go straight back in and do another spin class just to help take her mind off it.
Chapter Nine
(5:55)
I T FEELS FUNNY BEING back on
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