Read Online Love Her Madly by M. Elizabeth Lee - Free Book Online Page A

couldn’t begrudge her some joy. Fittingly, as soon as we got back to campus, she reverted to her prickly ways regarding all things romantic, almost as if Danny from the beach had never happened.
    The last two weeks of school were ridiculous. I was drowning in notes for term papers, and Cyn was always at the library,cramming with her science pals for their epic exams. It was nothing but coffee, classes, coffee, a few words of commiseration with equally dead-eyed friends, a small anxiety attack, followed by hours spent stringing words together on a computer screen, hoping they made sense. Lather, rinse, repeat. Just when it seemed like we would all die from sleep deprivation and stress, it was over. Our papers were turned in and tests completed. We were, strangely, free.
    The party started on Friday and lasted until Sunday afternoon. Word around campus was that Silence had gotten in a nice supply of pure MDMA. Half of the student body was going to be rolling all weekend. This time, I asked Cyn if she wanted to roll with me. I’d undergone a sea change in the months since my freak-out over the weed. Now I wasn’t at all nervous. My papers were in, and I wouldn’t need to use my brain for a few solid months. Cyn had told me what to expect: good feelings, happiness, and the uncontrollable urge to dance. It all sounded great, and it was. I remember dancing with my arms around Cyn’s and Lila’s necks, all of us screaming along with the music. It seemed like there were thousands of people in the quad, every one of them having the best time, every one of them dear friends, even the ones I’d never met.
    We danced and got lost trying to find the way back to the dorms, and then got un-lost and decided to walk to the bay. Tall Tim was there, and at some point I was lying with my head resting in his lap, playing with his enormous hands that seemed to block out the gently brightening sky. When it became light enough to see, we all rambled back to our room, crossing through the quad, where a handful of energetic souls were refusing to concede to the sunrise and were still dancing. We closed the blinds and collapsed, passing joints until sleep finally grabbed us.
    When I awoke, everyone was gone. Cyn stood looking outthe window, smoking. Her face looked drawn and tired, as I’m sure mine did.
    â€œIs that a cigarette?” I croaked. She had quit a few weeks after we met, with the offhand explanation that smoking wasn’t doing anything for her anymore.
    â€œYeah, I found a pack in my bed. Who they belong to, I have no idea. You want one?”
    She walked over with the pack. I shook my head and collapsed back onto the pillow.
    â€œDid you have fun?” she asked.
    â€œYeah. I did. It was lots more fun than I thought it would be, even. But today is going to suck, right?”
    She took a drag and nodded, then disagreed with herself and shook her head. “Depends. Your serotonin levels are fucked, so don’t expect to feel happy, or much of anything. Just limit yourself to mindless tasks and try not to get emotional.”
    She returned her attention to the window.
    â€œDid you have fun?”
    She smiled. “I had an amazing time. This sounds weird, but I swear, I really only feel like myself when I’m . . . altered.” She sighed and stubbed out the cigarette in an empty soda can. “But I guess last night wasn’t really life, though, was it?”
    â€œâ€™Course it was. Just a different part of life.”
    â€œI would do it more often, but chemically, it becomes counterproductive,” she murmured.
    â€œI’ll take your word for it.” I yawned. “It’s a special-occasion type of thing.”
    She smiled mirthlessly. “It should be.”
    She turned away, and her form disappeared into the midmorning light pouring in through the window. I rolled over and went back to sleep.

    Cyn and I opted to stay on campus for the summer, which