unusual for people to deal with some level of clutter (or messiness) their entire life. Sometimes they struggle with the same level of clutter over long stretches of their lives (represented by the A line). Others see the piles of possessions around them grow deeper over the years (as seen on the B line).
Whether youâve been following the A line at any of these clutter levels for years, or youâve been riding the B line into more severe problems, the program in the following pages is going to help you steer your arrow downward.
Chapter 3
WHERE AM I NOW (AND HOW DID MY MIND BRING ME HERE)?
T he 6-week program at the heart of
Lose the Clutter, Lose the Weight
will keep you pretty busy. Youâll be emptying dressers. Hauling bags of trash to the curb. Carrying trunkloads of goodies to the donation center (a
lot
of them, if youâre anything like the test panelists who went through the program). Going on calorie-burning walks. Hoisting household objects until your muscles grow stronger.
If you
only
did these tasks, I think the physical activity alone could change your body and home enough that a bystander would notice the progress. But the improvements likely wouldnât last very long. After all, youâve probably lost weight before. Youâve probably tamed the mess in areas of your home many times. But the changes didnât stick. Your body size went up, and the clutter piled up on your counters again.
I donât want that to happen to you this time. I want the changes you observe in your body and your home 6 weeks from now to stick around for a long time. I want you to have even
greater
success over your weight and your clutter in the months and years after the program is over.
But for that to happen, you canât just
do
. You also have to
think
.
So many of the people I work withâpeople who struggle with varying degrees of clutter in their homes and lives every dayâhave one thing in common:They are frequently not engaged in their own lives. By this I mean that much of their daily activity is conducted almost by rote. They buy things without really thinking about it, eat food without really tasting it, watch TV without noticing what theyâre seeing, and interact with people around them in a distracted way. Put simply, theyâre preoccupied by so many distractions theyâre just not
thinking
.
If your mind continues to force you to overeat, overshop, and hang on to household items long after theyâve stopped being useful, your body wonât be able to exercise and declutter fast enough to keep up. If your mind continues to be unhappy, overstressed, and unfocused, your drive to maintain your improvements will fade.
To make deep, lasting changes to the appearance of your body and home, youâre going to have to use your mind differently than before. I want you to do the following:
Work
with
your mind, not
for
it. Avoid blindly following your impulses.
Observe the things your mind is telling you, without immediately obeying its commands or spending time arguing with it.
Recognize when your mind is viewing the world as a darker, scarier place than it really is.
Stop confusing the memories attached to your household items with the items themselves.
Stop envisioning catastrophe in your future.
Celebrate your successes rather than focusing on your shortcomings.
Your attitude plays a crucial role here. I am constantly surprised by the negative perspective so many people have about themselves and their homes. Often when I am in the middle of a decluttering project, a word or look or comment will give this attitude away. When I get a sense of it, I always ask, âDo you think you deserve to be happy?â The response I frequently get first is shock that I would even
ask
such a question, followed by tears, and then a negative shake of the head.
So many people who struggle with clutter have filled their homes with âstuffâ in hopes of finding some
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