Read Online London Urban Legends by Scott Wood - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Scott Wood
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recounts a story related to one of London’s top tourist spots, St Paul’s Cathedral. A boy from Snowdon was at a job interview at local textile manufacturers Hitchcock, Williams & Co., who were founded in St Paul’s churchyard. The interviewer asked him if he had ever climbed to the top of the mountain. The boy said he had not, and was told there was ‘no vacancy for one who was so unenterprising’. The next day, the boy returned and told his interviewer that he had just climbed up to the ball of St Paul’s Cathedral. He asked the man, who worked for years in the shadow of St Paul’s dome, whether he had ever done so, and the interviewer had to admit that he had not. The boy’s point was taken; he was employed and was ‘proved a most profitable servant’.
A nice story about how Londoners, like most people, often don’t visit the wonders on their doorstep. Londoners I’ve known almost take pride in some of the London landmarks they have not visited, although these are often seen as lowbrow tourist places such as Madame Tussauds, the Trocadero and Covent Garden Market. They would be less likely to admit to never going to the Victoria & Albert museum or the Globe. Like the St Paul’s story, there is probably a busy life involved too – Londoners live and work in London, and sometimes something in your immediate locale just doesn’t seem like a priority. Stories that tell of success from unconventional ingenuity in job interviews always touches anyone who has had to undergo the rigours of interviewing for a position. This is a successful story. So successful, in fact, that it’s had an American remake.
Kent goes on to repeat another story which appeared in The Times on 19 August 1950. It told of a Londoner visiting New York for the first time, who was early for meeting a friend. He nervously took the express elevator to the top of the skyscraper his appointment was in and was rewarded with an amazing vista of the city from the roof. Full of admiration, the Londoner told his friend about the view but the friend, a busy ‘New Yorker born and bred’, smiled superciliously and snapped that he didn’t have the time ‘for such rubber-necking’.
The Londoner didn’t back down and told his friend that he should be ashamed of not taking advantage of the fine things on his doorstep. The New Yorker, with a broader smile, asked his Londoner pal how the view was from the top of St Paul’s. It was the Londoner’s turn to smile, the story says, as he had passed the cathedral every day on the way to work and had never gone beyond the Whispering Gallery.
Kent doesn’t spot this as an urban legend; the term and concept was not around when Kent was writing Walks in London . He does point out that his first story of the Snowdonian interviewee had been published, by him, some time before the New York version appeared. Perhaps other versions existed before the Snowdonian story that tells of the busy lives of Londoners and the things they do not get to do.
Neil? Kneel!
On 1 September 1983, Los Angeles Times columnist Jack Smith recounted a story of American tourists visiting the Houses of Parliament on a holiday in London. The story goes that they encountered Sir Quentin Hogg, Lord Hailsham, the Keeper of the Woolsack, ‘resplendent in the gold and scarlet robes of his office topped by a ceremonial wig’. The pomp of the Houses of Parliament is intimidating to Londoners, so the effect on a corridor of American tourists by this visitation must have been great. Then Lord Hailsham sees, beyond the tourists, his friend the Hon. Neil Matten MP. He shouts his friend’s name: ‘Neil! Neil!’
The crowd of tourists fall into embarrassed silence and then fall to their knees.
While this story very clearly illustrates American confusion and awkwardness when faced with British parliamentary pomp, it does not illustrate life in the Palace of Westminster. There is no Keeper of the Woolsack in UK Parliament; Sir Quintin Hogg was
A nice story about how Londoners, like most people, often don’t visit the wonders on their doorstep. Londoners I’ve known almost take pride in some of the London landmarks they have not visited, although these are often seen as lowbrow tourist places such as Madame Tussauds, the Trocadero and Covent Garden Market. They would be less likely to admit to never going to the Victoria & Albert museum or the Globe. Like the St Paul’s story, there is probably a busy life involved too – Londoners live and work in London, and sometimes something in your immediate locale just doesn’t seem like a priority. Stories that tell of success from unconventional ingenuity in job interviews always touches anyone who has had to undergo the rigours of interviewing for a position. This is a successful story. So successful, in fact, that it’s had an American remake.
Kent goes on to repeat another story which appeared in The Times on 19 August 1950. It told of a Londoner visiting New York for the first time, who was early for meeting a friend. He nervously took the express elevator to the top of the skyscraper his appointment was in and was rewarded with an amazing vista of the city from the roof. Full of admiration, the Londoner told his friend about the view but the friend, a busy ‘New Yorker born and bred’, smiled superciliously and snapped that he didn’t have the time ‘for such rubber-necking’.
The Londoner didn’t back down and told his friend that he should be ashamed of not taking advantage of the fine things on his doorstep. The New Yorker, with a broader smile, asked his Londoner pal how the view was from the top of St Paul’s. It was the Londoner’s turn to smile, the story says, as he had passed the cathedral every day on the way to work and had never gone beyond the Whispering Gallery.
Kent doesn’t spot this as an urban legend; the term and concept was not around when Kent was writing Walks in London . He does point out that his first story of the Snowdonian interviewee had been published, by him, some time before the New York version appeared. Perhaps other versions existed before the Snowdonian story that tells of the busy lives of Londoners and the things they do not get to do.
Neil? Kneel!
On 1 September 1983, Los Angeles Times columnist Jack Smith recounted a story of American tourists visiting the Houses of Parliament on a holiday in London. The story goes that they encountered Sir Quentin Hogg, Lord Hailsham, the Keeper of the Woolsack, ‘resplendent in the gold and scarlet robes of his office topped by a ceremonial wig’. The pomp of the Houses of Parliament is intimidating to Londoners, so the effect on a corridor of American tourists by this visitation must have been great. Then Lord Hailsham sees, beyond the tourists, his friend the Hon. Neil Matten MP. He shouts his friend’s name: ‘Neil! Neil!’
The crowd of tourists fall into embarrassed silence and then fall to their knees.
While this story very clearly illustrates American confusion and awkwardness when faced with British parliamentary pomp, it does not illustrate life in the Palace of Westminster. There is no Keeper of the Woolsack in UK Parliament; Sir Quintin Hogg was
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