Read Online Live and Let Drood by Simon R. Green - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Simon R. Green
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“Your family built a whole cliff face here, out in the middle of the grounds, just so you could drive a waterfall over it?”
“Yes,” I said. “You didn’t think views like this just happened, did you? Does look rather fine, doesn’t it?”
“Where does the water come from?”
“The lake,” I said. “We recycle it, through a Möbius loop, so the water just goes round and round forever. This whole thing, the lake and the cliff and the waterfall, are what used to be called a folly back in Queen Victoria’s time. They were great ones for re-creating all the grandeur of nature in their own back gardens, so they wouldn’t have to travel to see them.”
“And you Droods had to have a lake and a waterfall, because you were no one if you didn’t?”
“Exactly!”
“But these are private grounds!” said Molly, just a bit loudly. “No one else is allowed in! Only your family would ever get to see them! No one else would ever know you didn’t have them!”
“We’d know,” I said. “Don’t get so overexcited, Molly. You know it’s bad for your blood pressure.”
“Sometimes your family makes no sense at all,” said Molly.
“I know!” I said. “Why do you think I left home the first chance I got and ran away to London?”
“Because you’ve always had a problem with authority figures,” said Molly. “Even when you were one.”
“Well, yes. That, too,” I said. “But mostly because my family could provoke the Dalai Lama into a kickboxing duel while drinking gin straight from the bottle.”
“Why are we here, Eddie? You didn’t walk me all this way across the grounds just to admire the artificial scenery.”
“We’re here because there’s an undine in the waterfall,” I said grandly. “No one else has got an undine in their waterfall. She’s been here for ages; keeps herself to herself, mostly. But whatever happened here, she must have seen it. Hell, she’s got the best view of the Hall and most of the grounds. We know what must have happened, but there are still far too many unanswered questions for my liking. Like: Where’s all the wildlife that should still be running round the place?”
“You’ve always had a soft spot for animals,” said Molly. “Anything soft and cuddly turns up, and your heart just melts.”
I looked at her and started to say something, and she raised a hand to stop me.
“Do not even go there, Eddie. Talk to your waterfall.”
I grinned briefly, stepped forward and called out just a bit self-consciously to the rushing waters. There was no response. I hadn’t expected it would be that easy, but you have to try. The undine hadn’t been on a talking basis with anyone in my family for generations. Except for Jacob…and she only talked to him because he was dead. I said as much to Molly.
“If she’s so mad at your family, why is she still here?” said Molly, getting right to the heart of the matter, as always.
“Good question,” I said. “The undine is another of the Drood family’s many little secrets. Rumour has it, she was once married to one of us. Always a bad idea when mortal loves immortal, when nature loves supernature…Bound to end in tears. They say love doesn’t last, but sometimes love really is forever. After he died, the undine stayed on here because…there was nowhere else she wanted to go.”
“I take it there are other versions, other stories,” said Molly.
“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe,” I said. “Some of them quite appallingly nasty and violent. I prefer to stick with the love story because…”
“Because you’re a soppy old romantic?”
“Yes, but also because it enables me to forget all the other unpleasant stories and try to talk to the undine without filling my trousers.”
I tried again, calling out at the top of my voice, but the waters just kept falling and the undine did not appear. Molly started to get angry.
“I’m not having her ignore you like this! You stand back and let me
“Your family built a whole cliff face here, out in the middle of the grounds, just so you could drive a waterfall over it?”
“Yes,” I said. “You didn’t think views like this just happened, did you? Does look rather fine, doesn’t it?”
“Where does the water come from?”
“The lake,” I said. “We recycle it, through a Möbius loop, so the water just goes round and round forever. This whole thing, the lake and the cliff and the waterfall, are what used to be called a folly back in Queen Victoria’s time. They were great ones for re-creating all the grandeur of nature in their own back gardens, so they wouldn’t have to travel to see them.”
“And you Droods had to have a lake and a waterfall, because you were no one if you didn’t?”
“Exactly!”
“But these are private grounds!” said Molly, just a bit loudly. “No one else is allowed in! Only your family would ever get to see them! No one else would ever know you didn’t have them!”
“We’d know,” I said. “Don’t get so overexcited, Molly. You know it’s bad for your blood pressure.”
“Sometimes your family makes no sense at all,” said Molly.
“I know!” I said. “Why do you think I left home the first chance I got and ran away to London?”
“Because you’ve always had a problem with authority figures,” said Molly. “Even when you were one.”
“Well, yes. That, too,” I said. “But mostly because my family could provoke the Dalai Lama into a kickboxing duel while drinking gin straight from the bottle.”
“Why are we here, Eddie? You didn’t walk me all this way across the grounds just to admire the artificial scenery.”
“We’re here because there’s an undine in the waterfall,” I said grandly. “No one else has got an undine in their waterfall. She’s been here for ages; keeps herself to herself, mostly. But whatever happened here, she must have seen it. Hell, she’s got the best view of the Hall and most of the grounds. We know what must have happened, but there are still far too many unanswered questions for my liking. Like: Where’s all the wildlife that should still be running round the place?”
“You’ve always had a soft spot for animals,” said Molly. “Anything soft and cuddly turns up, and your heart just melts.”
I looked at her and started to say something, and she raised a hand to stop me.
“Do not even go there, Eddie. Talk to your waterfall.”
I grinned briefly, stepped forward and called out just a bit self-consciously to the rushing waters. There was no response. I hadn’t expected it would be that easy, but you have to try. The undine hadn’t been on a talking basis with anyone in my family for generations. Except for Jacob…and she only talked to him because he was dead. I said as much to Molly.
“If she’s so mad at your family, why is she still here?” said Molly, getting right to the heart of the matter, as always.
“Good question,” I said. “The undine is another of the Drood family’s many little secrets. Rumour has it, she was once married to one of us. Always a bad idea when mortal loves immortal, when nature loves supernature…Bound to end in tears. They say love doesn’t last, but sometimes love really is forever. After he died, the undine stayed on here because…there was nowhere else she wanted to go.”
“I take it there are other versions, other stories,” said Molly.
“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe,” I said. “Some of them quite appallingly nasty and violent. I prefer to stick with the love story because…”
“Because you’re a soppy old romantic?”
“Yes, but also because it enables me to forget all the other unpleasant stories and try to talk to the undine without filling my trousers.”
I tried again, calling out at the top of my voice, but the waters just kept falling and the undine did not appear. Molly started to get angry.
“I’m not having her ignore you like this! You stand back and let me
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