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chest.”
    â€œNo,” Aunt Sarin said, her voice all breathless and ragged. I turned and peered at her. She was wide-eyed and pointing at her stomach. “Baby! Castor is coming!”

9

The Castor-Old Collision

    The next twenty minutes were pretty much a blur of chaos. Vega and the Bacteria heard Aunt Sarin’s yelp and came running up the stairs, the Bacteria’s ice cream spoon still hanging out of his mouth.
    â€œWhat’s wrong?” Vega said. “What did you do, Arty?”
    I tumbled in through my window. My shoelace hung up on the corner of a shingle, which pulled my shoe right off. The shoe thumped down into the yard, where Comet immediately snatched it up and took off across the yard with it.
    â€œNo! Comet!” I yelled, scrambling to get up. “I didn’t do anything,” I said to Vega, then turned back to the window. “Comet! Do not eat my shoe!”
    The Bacteria stood on his tiptoes to look out the window, then chuckled in slow, one-syllable laughs around the dangling spoon. “Heh. Heh. Heh.”
    â€œGet me a phone. Call Uncle Manny,” Aunt Sarin commanded.
    Vega aimed her steely eyes at me. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t do something, Armpit. You do stupid stuff all the time.”
    â€œHeh. Dog. Heh,” the Bacteria continued.
    â€œI haven’t done anything stupid in a long time, Vega. Comet! Drop it!”
    â€œHello? A phone? You guys? Someone needs to call Uncle Manny.” Aunt Sarin grabbed her stomach.
    My sister planted her hands on her hips and cocked her head to one side. “Using my eyeliner to draw a pirate mustache and eye patch on the dog?”
    â€œThat was Tripp!” I yelled. “And it was a superhero mask. There was no mustache. I told you that a thousand times.”
    â€œThere was so a mustache! I saw it myself!”
    â€œKids, I don’t want to interrupt, but I’d really like to use the phone now,” Aunt Sarin said.
    â€œNo,” I countered, putting my hands on my hips to match hers. “That mustache is Comet’s natural facial hair.”
    Vega made an I’m-not-stupid face. “Dogs don’t have natural mustaches, genius.”
    â€œHeh,” the Bacteria laughed. “Dog ’stache. Heh.”
    â€œIt’s not an actual mustache, it’s just his fur!” I yelled back. “Look at him!”
    Together, Vega, the Bacteria, and I all turned to the window and leaned forward, craning our necks.
    Just in time to see Comet gobble my shoe. My whole shoe. Laces and all, in one swallow. Gulp. Like a cartoon dog. It was unnatural and unsettling. And my only pair of shoes!
    â€œNo! Comet! Aw, come on! Couldn’t you have just peed onit?” Then, as if in answer to my question, Comet got up, walked over to Cassi’s swing, and lifted his leg. Well, at least I had that little consolation.
    â€œHuh,” Vega said. “What do you know? His fur does look like a mustache.”
    â€œWould somebody pick up the phone and call Uncle Manny, please? I’m having a baby over here!”
Aunt Sarin screeched, and we all turned, sort of surprised to remember that she was still in the room with us.
    Vega went into panicky overdrive. “You’re having the baby? She’s having the baby? Why didn’t you tell me she was having the baby? Oh no, oh no, I don’t know what to do. What do I do? Where’s the phone? What’s Uncle Manny’s number? How far apart are the contractions? What happens if the baby is born here? How will we get to the hospital? Should Mitchell drive you to the hospital? Should I call an ambulance? Baby? A baby? Right now, a baby?”
    The Bacteria’s mouth dropped open, and the spoon plunked on my carpet. He ran out of the room, down the stairs, and straight out the front door, shutting it behind him with a house-rattling slam.
    Vega and I looked at each other for a beat, and then we both raced to