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honey,” I finally reply.  “I'm glad you're enjoying your meal.”
    “ Whew!  Good.  Because, I called your sister, Sydney, and she's prepared to sit down with us and figure a way to loan us some money.”
    “ Why did you do that?” I pace toward the range with measured and careful steps.  I feel a small rage building in the pit of my stomach.  Time after time I've told Bryan not to get my sisters involved in my business.  I am the oldest and I don't need them bailing us out.
    “ Because, no matter how much you don't want to admit it, we need help.  You have five credit cards that are maxed out, our utilities are always on the disconnect notice, and we've been eating spaghetti and chili too many nights in a row.  Something's got to give.”
    “ What about my twenty five thousand dollar jackpot?  Did you forget about that?”
    “ I did not forget about it.  I also didn't forget that I told you to donate it to the church after you pay our bills.  We need to talk to your sister about helping us get out of our real debt.”
    I slam a rubber spoon down on the countertop.  “How does that make any sense, Bryan?  Why would we go begging my sister for money, and give my jackpot to the church.  That's just stupid!”
    “ Now you're being disrespectful.  Why don't you trust me for a change?  How do you know that God didn't place this in my spirit?”
    “ Whatever Bryan!  You're just trying to kiss up to pastor, and get to that inner church circle that keeps eluding you.  Pastor had a dinner party at his house last weekend.  It was an engagement party!  Guess who he didn't invite?  You!  God didn't tell you to give the church my money!”
    “ Your money?”
    “ That's exactly what I said.  I won it, so it's mine.”
    “ If you don't obey me on this, Camille, there is going to be some trouble in our marriage.”
    As far as I'm concerned, there is already trouble in our marriage.  “I'm telling my sister not to give you a dime, Bryan. You can save the Captain Caveman routine, because I'm not having it.”
    Bryan flings his plate of waffles across the table until it lands on the floor.  His high yellow complexion is a shade of fire engine red, and he huffs and puffs like he's ready to blow somebody's straw house down.
    “Go ahead and have a temper tantrum.  It's not going to change my mind.”
    Bryan stands up from the table and his fork lands on the floor with a clattering clank. 
    “I'm going out.  Don't wait up for me.  You might not see me until church tomorrow.”
    I roll my eyes and sigh.  Is this supposed to get me all scared and remorseful? Why should I be afraid of him?  God’s got His hand on me!  And if God is for me, who shall be against me? 
     

 
    ~15~
     
    Sydney
    How is it that you can make the right decision, know you made the right decision and still feel absolutely rotten about the whole thing?  I keep hashing and rehashing my last conversation with Lucas.  I can’t stop thinking about it. 
    I know that he was a cheater.  At the time, an unapologetic one.  Even if he’s remorseful now, how do I know that he won’t go back to that person?  Since I can’t know for sure, I cannot give him my heart. 
    One of my patients once told me that you cannot silence emotions with logic.  At the time I disagreed with him.  I’ve used logic to get me through every tough phase of my life.  It was the only way I survived the first breakup with Lucas.  Since I caught Lucas with my friend, logically he was a horrible boyfriend. 
    It worked then.  Why isn’t it working now?
    I frown at my patient’s chart.  “Mrs. Rosen, your blood pressure is very high today.  Have you been taking your prescription medication?”
    Mrs. Rosen pats my hand and smiles at me.  “Oh, baby I ran out and I won’t be able to afford anymore until the first of the month.”
    “ Well, I’m going to get you some samples that will last you through this week, but you can’t leave here until