damn bad. Most wives welcomed home their wounded husbands instead of pushing them away.
“What’s wrong, Lexy?” He took her hand in his.
Her eyes lost some of their heat. “Nothing. I’m just tired. I haven’t slept in two weeks.”
“There’s a bed in here.” Ryan slid closer to his wife and pushed her down on the bed.
“I will not have sex with you.” Her eyes widened and she looked frightened for a moment.
He hated that she looked at him that way, but let it pass for the moment. There must be a reason why she was afraid. But he didn’t understand. Every time they kissed it was explosive.
“No, we won’t make love now,” he agreed. “You’re too tired.” He moved closer to her, gathering her in his arms.
She stiffened.
“We are just going to talk,” he said as if speaking to a scared child. “Tell me about my job.”
“You work as a mechanic with Lance.” She didn’t look at him, but at the ceiling. “Fixing cars is your passion, and restoring classic cars is your life. That fleet of shiny cars outside is your baby.”
He inched closer to her and entwined his fingers with hers. “There must be ten cars out there.” He felt her relax. It was a good sign.
“Plus two bikes and a pickup truck in the garage.”
“It seems with all the money I spent we could have gotten a better house.”
Lexy turned to face him so that they were nose to nose. Her slanted eyes widened in surprise. “You love those cars more than you ever loved me. You wouldn’t give them up.”
“What? They are just sitting there and I don’t love anything more than I love you.”
She sat up and moved away from him.
“Don’t say that.” She shook her head. “You don’t love me. You never have.”
He grabbed her arm to stop her flight. “I woke up and saw you, Lexy,” he said fiercely. “ You. Don’t tell me how I feel. Don’t tell me what I know.”
“You wake up not remembering anything and you claim to love me. It’s bullshit,” she snapped. “You don’t even know me.”
“Did I ever know you? Did you let me? Will you let me? I want to, but you won’t let me close enough to try.”
“Why should I? I won’t fall in love with you again. I won’t go back to how things were.”
He grabbed her other hand and spoke very quietly to her. “Tell me what it was like before. Tell me what I did.”
She shook her head. “I’m giving you your freedom. Divorce me. You can get your job back at the shop. You can hang out with your friends. You can be with whoever you want. You don’t need me holding you down.”
Divorce? No way. Not without a fight. He didn’t believe in it.
“You don’t hold me down, baby. You lift me up.”
She stared at him for a moment, tears in her eyes, and then giggled. “Oh, Ryan. When are you going to stop spewing bullshit?”
“When you love me.”
“I’m afraid that’s never going to happen,” she said so softly that he almost didn’t hear her. “You were never this smooth before.”
“Tell me how I was.” More than he was hungry for her, he was hungry for a glimpse of the man he used to be. Not knowing who he was was the worst feeling imaginable.
“Rest.” She fingered the scar on his cheek. “You look tired.”
“I want to talk to you.” He racked his hands through his hair in frustration. He was frustrated with her for closing herself off to him. With himself for being unable to make his mind work. Sensing this, Lexy cupped his face in her capable hands.
“Go to sleep, honey. We can talk later.”
Panic rolled around inside him. He needed to know about himself. He needed her beside him. He couldn’t go to sleep now. When sleep came so did the dreams. They only stopped when she was with him.
“Stay.” In one move he had her on her back beneath him and before she even had a chance to tense he kissed her. It was soft at first, an exploring taste of the mouth he was still getting to know.
She responded.
She responded to him and relaxed in
“What’s wrong, Lexy?” He took her hand in his.
Her eyes lost some of their heat. “Nothing. I’m just tired. I haven’t slept in two weeks.”
“There’s a bed in here.” Ryan slid closer to his wife and pushed her down on the bed.
“I will not have sex with you.” Her eyes widened and she looked frightened for a moment.
He hated that she looked at him that way, but let it pass for the moment. There must be a reason why she was afraid. But he didn’t understand. Every time they kissed it was explosive.
“No, we won’t make love now,” he agreed. “You’re too tired.” He moved closer to her, gathering her in his arms.
She stiffened.
“We are just going to talk,” he said as if speaking to a scared child. “Tell me about my job.”
“You work as a mechanic with Lance.” She didn’t look at him, but at the ceiling. “Fixing cars is your passion, and restoring classic cars is your life. That fleet of shiny cars outside is your baby.”
He inched closer to her and entwined his fingers with hers. “There must be ten cars out there.” He felt her relax. It was a good sign.
“Plus two bikes and a pickup truck in the garage.”
“It seems with all the money I spent we could have gotten a better house.”
Lexy turned to face him so that they were nose to nose. Her slanted eyes widened in surprise. “You love those cars more than you ever loved me. You wouldn’t give them up.”
“What? They are just sitting there and I don’t love anything more than I love you.”
She sat up and moved away from him.
“Don’t say that.” She shook her head. “You don’t love me. You never have.”
He grabbed her arm to stop her flight. “I woke up and saw you, Lexy,” he said fiercely. “ You. Don’t tell me how I feel. Don’t tell me what I know.”
“You wake up not remembering anything and you claim to love me. It’s bullshit,” she snapped. “You don’t even know me.”
“Did I ever know you? Did you let me? Will you let me? I want to, but you won’t let me close enough to try.”
“Why should I? I won’t fall in love with you again. I won’t go back to how things were.”
He grabbed her other hand and spoke very quietly to her. “Tell me what it was like before. Tell me what I did.”
She shook her head. “I’m giving you your freedom. Divorce me. You can get your job back at the shop. You can hang out with your friends. You can be with whoever you want. You don’t need me holding you down.”
Divorce? No way. Not without a fight. He didn’t believe in it.
“You don’t hold me down, baby. You lift me up.”
She stared at him for a moment, tears in her eyes, and then giggled. “Oh, Ryan. When are you going to stop spewing bullshit?”
“When you love me.”
“I’m afraid that’s never going to happen,” she said so softly that he almost didn’t hear her. “You were never this smooth before.”
“Tell me how I was.” More than he was hungry for her, he was hungry for a glimpse of the man he used to be. Not knowing who he was was the worst feeling imaginable.
“Rest.” She fingered the scar on his cheek. “You look tired.”
“I want to talk to you.” He racked his hands through his hair in frustration. He was frustrated with her for closing herself off to him. With himself for being unable to make his mind work. Sensing this, Lexy cupped his face in her capable hands.
“Go to sleep, honey. We can talk later.”
Panic rolled around inside him. He needed to know about himself. He needed her beside him. He couldn’t go to sleep now. When sleep came so did the dreams. They only stopped when she was with him.
“Stay.” In one move he had her on her back beneath him and before she even had a chance to tense he kissed her. It was soft at first, an exploring taste of the mouth he was still getting to know.
She responded.
She responded to him and relaxed in
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