a promotional night at a new club. It is packed with the young and beautiful, the air thick with cigarette smoke despite the ban. Within ten minutes Antonella is being chatted up by a muscle-bound Spaniard, and not long afterwards she disappears with her prize, blowing Valentina a drunken kiss as she departs. Now that her friend is gone Valentina really should go home. She hardly knows the other people in the club, yet every time she thinks about leaving, she remembers that Theo isn’t back at the flat. Tonight she doesn’t want to get into her empty bed all alone.
She should find someone in the club and take him home.Despite the fact that she and Theo are not officially in a relationship, as she keeps telling him, somehow she has found that she hasn’t been tempted to sleep with anyone else since she met him. She is not so sure about Theo. I mean,
where
does he go? she asks herself again. So what has happened to her? She was such a different creature when she met Theo. She was a free spirit. That was what he called her. He loved her contradictions. He said that on the surface she was the picture of demure, but behind that front was another Valentina, open, brimming with abandon. He didn’t think she was a slut for sleeping with him the first time they met. He called her a goddess. Yet now it seems he wants her to change.
Girlfriend
.
That’s it. She’s going to pick some guy up tonight and take him home with her. There is no shortage of choice. The table she is sitting at, with the dregs of Antonella’s friends, is surrounded by young men. She orders another glass of red wine and eyes up the talent. She likes the look of one particular guy. He seems a little older than the others, and has floppy blond hair. She gives him a little half-smile and hooks him, before turning away to sip her wine. Within a few seconds he is standing beside her. The music is pounding through her body, making her heart race, as she looks into his eyes, her message clear.
‘Hi,’ he shouts down at her. ‘I love your hair.’
She cradles the back of her bob with her hand.
‘Thanks. I’ve always had it like this.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, since I was a little girl.’ She opens her eyes wide and childlike, and he grins at her.
An hour later, Valentina and Alexandro, the floppy blond, are stumbling out of the club into the tart autumn night. Valentina flags down a taxi, and the two of them scramble inside. As soon as the taxi takes off, they fall into each other’s arms.
Alexandro is on top of her in the corner of the taxi, pushing his tongue into her mouth, and suddenly it really isn’t as pleasant as Valentina thought it would be. She pushes him away from her.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asks, sweeping his floppy fringe away from his face with a sweaty palm. She can see a few pimples on his forehead. Just how young is this guy?
‘I need some air,’ she says, winding down the window on her side of the car.
He lunges in again, and she tries to reciprocate. She really does. Yet Theo is inside her head, and this guy smells all wrong. He feels wrong. She slides out from under him, shifts to the other side of the cab.
‘I’m really sorry, Alexandro, I can’t do this.’
The poor fellow looks crushed.
‘Why? What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. I just feel sick. Sorry.’
The rest of the journey is spent in hostile silence. When they pull up outside her apartment building, she can’t get out of thetaxi quick enough. She throws twenty euros through the open door, and Alexandro accepts the money without even looking at her. What on earth was she thinking of? He must be a student. She is probably nearly ten years older than him. She rushes up the steps to the front door of the building, suddenly sober despite all the wine she has drunk. She feels foolish, and something else, a kind of yearning. She wishes that Theo were here so they could laugh about how silly she has been.
She is just unlocking the door to her flat when her phone
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