Letting Go
that’s one part of it. I’m concerned about his mind, Kell. I don’t want him to think he’s inferior, or that he can’t reach the stars because he’s gay. He can. But not if he feels inadequate or that he’s disappointing you,” she said, her face set in stern lines as if she would write her words a thousand times to make sure she understood.
    Kelly’s mind raced over everything her sister said, but she just couldn’t make the same leap. As a single parent and school administrator, she thanked God her son never gave her any real problems. She had no horror stories of him stealing her car, or coming home drunk or high, or him wanting to hang out on street corners or with gangs. Many of her friends looked at Robin in admiration, often telling her she was lucky.
    Gay? Robin attracted to other boys? The dots refused to connect. She crossed her legs and placed her hands on the arms of the sofa. He had a picture of a guy in a football uniform, so what? Homosexual ? She shook her head, unable, or unwilling, to consider the possibility.
    Jessie moved to the corner of the sofa, reached over, squeezed her hand and asked a question. “What if I am right?”
    She met her sister’s gaze and moistened her lips with a quick swipe of her tongue. “I would be disappointed if he’s gay. I don’t want him to be that way. I want him to grow up normal, meet a woman, have kids… I want grandkids.” The biased words tumbled from her mouth. She wanted to stop them, but they were true, and since this had to be make believe, she had no problem saying them.
    Jessie nodded. “Okay, you’ll be disappointed, that’s understandable. But will you stop loving him?”
    “No!” Her immediate answer rang true and clear. “How could you ask? He’s my baby, I’ll always love him. Never question that. He’s my son.” A low throb began at the base of her neck.
    Her sister smiled in what appeared to be relief. Had Jessie thought otherwise? Granted, using the words gay and Robin in the same sentence sent coils of tension to her stomach and her head throbbed beneath the weight of possibility. But her absolute love for him would never cease.
    Jessie continued to hold her gaze. “Can you separate his choices, the things he enjoys, that which makes him happiest, from him being your baby?”
    Kelly frowned. “What? What are you asking me? He plays video games all the time, I don’t like that, but I don’t separate anything.”
    “This is a little more than playing games. Although, chances are that’s where he meets his male friends anyway. It’s global now, Kell.”
    “Huh? What are you talking about?” she asked, confused. One moment they were discussing her loving her son, now the conversation had flipped to video games.
    Jessie sat back on the sofa and stared at her. “You have no idea, do you?”
    “About what? Robin being gay? No. I don’t think he is.”
    “No. He is, but we’ll get to that in a moment. You have no idea what happens when he logs online to play video games.”
    Since she assumed he played video games, she remained quiet. In the back of her mind, a seminar she’d attended about online gaming floated to the top of her memories. Jessie was right. Once Robin logged on, he could connect with anyone in the world. The internet removed community and country boundaries.
    Chills raced down her back, robbing the feeling in her fingertips as other nuggets of data surfaced. Porn sites populated the internet with all types of traps for unwary youth. School had robbed her of time, but that excuse held no value. Her child always came first.
    “When he logs online, people from all over the world are already playing. They have chat rooms where they meet and talk. He can talk and play games with another person for hours. That’s the beginning of the relationships. He doesn’t need to deal with someone local, someone he can bring home and introduce to you. A lot of it starts online and grows for years.”
    Her mind shied

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