Read Online Let Me Know by Stina Lindenblatt - Free Book Online Page B

deepen the kiss, then I pull away and gently push him back, my hand on his chest. His heart flutters rapidly against my palm, matching the pace of my own. I smile.
    “Do you have condoms with you?” I ask.
    “They’re in my bag.”
    I fish through his bag on the floor next to us. Once I find a couple of foil packages, I remove my underwear and toss it on the floor next to my bra. With one hand, Marcus practically rips his boxers off and waits for me to straddle him.
    The moment I do, one of his fingers is inside me again, tormenting me, pushing me to the edge. A second finger joins the first, and I can barely rip open the foil packet. I teeter there, ready to fall.
    Not wanting to fall without him, I roll the condom onto his thick length. It’s not the first time I’ve put a condom on him, but I feel clumsy doing it. I bite my lip as I focus my attention on the task. Marcus chuckles and his hand guides mine.
    Without hesitation, I mount him. I think part of him prefers it this way, and it has nothing to do with his shoulder. He fears I’ll get scared while we make love and flashback to last spring, and it will somehow drive me away. My being on top gives me a greater sense of control. Though I don’t think it matters. As long as I focus on the amazing man making love to me, filling me with an immense amount of joy, I’ll be okay.
    I push us further to the edge. Sensing I’m about to come and scream out his name, he pulls my head down. His mouth is on mine seconds before my body clenches around his length, seconds before I can make a sound beyond a muffled moan. He comes moments later, our lips still as one.
    Even though I want to stay this way for a bit longer, as I regain my senses, I climb off him and collapse on the bed. He gets up and tosses the condom in the garbage before returning the duvet to the bed and covering me with it. He then relaxes under the covers with me curled around him. I make a mental note to remove the condom from the trash before anyone finds it. Especially Mom. I started the pill earlier this month, but I’ve got a few more weeks to go before we’re safe. Then I won’t have to worry anymore about hiding the evidence.
    “How’s your shoulder?” I ask.
    He tenderly kisses me. “I’m fine. At least I am now. Merry Christmas.”
    I kiss him back. “Merry Christmas.”
    We lie here for a few minutes, a tangle of limbs, both lost in each other, not wanting to move anytime soon. And we don’t have to. Mom won’t be up for another four hours. I just have to make sure I’m in my room before then.
    “Tell me about your Christmases,” Marcus says. “What were they like?”
    I smile softly, caught up in the memories. “Wonderful. My brother and I would sneak down early and check out the presents Santa left us. Emma and Trent used to come over after lunch and we’d hang out. Then my grandparents would come over for dinner and Michael and I would stay up late.” As hard as I try, I can’t keep the sadness out of my voice. My grandfather died several years ago, so I’m used to his not being around for Christmas. It’s Michael and Trent’s absence that is new and fills me with an unwelcome heaviness. If Marcus weren’t here, I have no idea how I would survive.
    I snuggle closer to him and smile. Even though we were forced to be quieter than usual, the sex was amazingly hot. Hot enough to say what happened between us is now one of my favorite Christmas morning memories.
    “Tell me about you and Ryan. What were your Christmases like?” I stroke the side of his face. This isn’t just my first Christmas without Michael. It’s Marcus’s first Christmas without his brother. It’s why I wanted him to be here with me during the holidays. No one should be alone today when they’re filled with this much pain. And although Marcus pretends to be stoic when it comes to Ryan, I’ve noticed in the past week he, too, is experiencing the same heaviness.
    He smiles, the emotion behind it filled