Read Online LEMNISCATE by Jennifer Murgia - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jennifer Murgia
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then it wasn’t restful. It was garish and unpleasant, full of strange dreams and even stranger faces. I felt like an unseen ghost, a whisper of someone else’s thoughts traveling through someone else’s nightmare.
Sitting up, I placed my hands over my eyes to filter out the light billowing in through my window. My sensitive eyes blinked painfully as the blinding yellow glow made a beeline for my sleep deprived head. Then I remembered, I needed to talk to Ryan today. But wading through the six hours of school would be torture, not that it wasn’t when I
didn’t
have something important on the threshold. But this, the waiting to talk to him, to tell him about the strange, old book and Dr. Dean’s hobby—this might get us somewhere and the closer we got to stopping whatever Brynn was up to, the better.
I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around whatever Brynn was planning. I honestly thought I had been through it all after dealing with a dark angel last year. It seemed that Brynn and Hadrian had traded places this year. Now I was more concerned about a high-heeled, cheerleading menace than a malicious archangel.
There was no way I could stand waiting until after school to tell Ryan about Brynn and the book or my plan for us to sneak into Dr. Dean’s house tomorrow night and search for it.
Complaining to myself was only making matters worse. I needed to vent. As the overwhelming need to get things off my chest became more unbearable, a thought came to me. A soothing little piece of reassurance. Despite the few minutes left before I needed to get downstairs, I seemed to float effortlessly over to my computer. There was someone who would hear me out and not judge or look at me sideways. Someone who would just plain listen.
I drummed up the nerve before the fleeting moment of inspiration left me. Why not email Claire again? It had made me feel a million times better the other day and besides, who’s going to tap into the closed email account of a dead person?
No one, that’s who.
The deep breath I took filled me with confidence and once again my fingers flew across the keys, my heart and soul pouring out through their tips like never before. I had written to Claire the other night, but it wasn’t like this. Today there seemed to be a silent desperation within me that was lacking in the previous email. Finally, all the emotions I had stored up inside over her absence, her death, seemed to have boiled over, and now there was no stopping it. In my mind, I could picture Claire so clearly, as if she were in the room with me and because of this, the words flowed effortlessly.
I recounted the ever-growing personality change in Brynn. That, paired with the existence of a peculiar journal that has now lead to suspicions about the man my mother was dating, was more than I could keep to myself. I had been reluctant to pull Ryan into the discussion but it felt right, so I revealed my daring plan (the one he didn’t know about yet). I only paused once to briefly question my hesitation about the plans with Ryan. I realized this made them more real. Solid. And now that I had told someone, now that I had told Claire, there was no backing out.
My fingers continued at the keys with driving determination. The dam had broken. I admitted that my feelings were being stretched thin between Garreth and Hadrian, and how I wished with all my heart she were able to answer me somehow. I would do anything to see her roll her eyes at my dilemmas, to give me the sound advice only she was capable of giving.
Glancing at the clock, I realized I needed to wrap things up. In closing I asked Claire to forgive me for not being a better friend. I knew deep down that I should have stayed at the rave with her and yes, maybe I would be dead instead of her, or maybe we both would have lived. Who knows.
My finger touched the send button and in a flash the lengthy note I had just typed disappeared and was swept away into the universe, taking a
Sitting up, I placed my hands over my eyes to filter out the light billowing in through my window. My sensitive eyes blinked painfully as the blinding yellow glow made a beeline for my sleep deprived head. Then I remembered, I needed to talk to Ryan today. But wading through the six hours of school would be torture, not that it wasn’t when I
didn’t
have something important on the threshold. But this, the waiting to talk to him, to tell him about the strange, old book and Dr. Dean’s hobby—this might get us somewhere and the closer we got to stopping whatever Brynn was up to, the better.
I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around whatever Brynn was planning. I honestly thought I had been through it all after dealing with a dark angel last year. It seemed that Brynn and Hadrian had traded places this year. Now I was more concerned about a high-heeled, cheerleading menace than a malicious archangel.
There was no way I could stand waiting until after school to tell Ryan about Brynn and the book or my plan for us to sneak into Dr. Dean’s house tomorrow night and search for it.
Complaining to myself was only making matters worse. I needed to vent. As the overwhelming need to get things off my chest became more unbearable, a thought came to me. A soothing little piece of reassurance. Despite the few minutes left before I needed to get downstairs, I seemed to float effortlessly over to my computer. There was someone who would hear me out and not judge or look at me sideways. Someone who would just plain listen.
I drummed up the nerve before the fleeting moment of inspiration left me. Why not email Claire again? It had made me feel a million times better the other day and besides, who’s going to tap into the closed email account of a dead person?
No one, that’s who.
The deep breath I took filled me with confidence and once again my fingers flew across the keys, my heart and soul pouring out through their tips like never before. I had written to Claire the other night, but it wasn’t like this. Today there seemed to be a silent desperation within me that was lacking in the previous email. Finally, all the emotions I had stored up inside over her absence, her death, seemed to have boiled over, and now there was no stopping it. In my mind, I could picture Claire so clearly, as if she were in the room with me and because of this, the words flowed effortlessly.
I recounted the ever-growing personality change in Brynn. That, paired with the existence of a peculiar journal that has now lead to suspicions about the man my mother was dating, was more than I could keep to myself. I had been reluctant to pull Ryan into the discussion but it felt right, so I revealed my daring plan (the one he didn’t know about yet). I only paused once to briefly question my hesitation about the plans with Ryan. I realized this made them more real. Solid. And now that I had told someone, now that I had told Claire, there was no backing out.
My fingers continued at the keys with driving determination. The dam had broken. I admitted that my feelings were being stretched thin between Garreth and Hadrian, and how I wished with all my heart she were able to answer me somehow. I would do anything to see her roll her eyes at my dilemmas, to give me the sound advice only she was capable of giving.
Glancing at the clock, I realized I needed to wrap things up. In closing I asked Claire to forgive me for not being a better friend. I knew deep down that I should have stayed at the rave with her and yes, maybe I would be dead instead of her, or maybe we both would have lived. Who knows.
My finger touched the send button and in a flash the lengthy note I had just typed disappeared and was swept away into the universe, taking a
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