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Authors: Nancy A. Collins
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ain’t Tribeca or the Village. You’re in Golgotham now, girlie. You’d best remember that.”
The woman and her companions hastily gathered up their coats and left the bar, muttering profanities under their breath. The moment the door closed behind them, the regulars gave a ragged cheer and a few came over to clap the pipe smoker on the back and buy him another round.
Hexe, however, did not seem to find the incident quite so amusing. “C’mon, Tate,” he said. “Let’s go upstairs to the dining room.”
Suddenly there came a high-pitched, yet somehow masculine shriek from the back of the house. “Put me down!”
Chapter 6
I turned in the direction of the yell and saw a drunken college student dressed in an Islanders sweatshirt holding a wildly squirming leprechaun over his head as if he were the Stanley Cup, much to the amusement of his equally inebriated companions. Like all of his kind, the leprechaun sported bright red hair and bristling whiskers. However, instead of wearing the stereotypical breeches buckled at the knee and gartered hose, he was outfitted head to toe in scaled-down Versace.
“Don’t let ’im go until he gives you his Lucky Charms!” one of the friends shouted. This particular witticism triggered a round of loud, braying laughter from the surrounding crowd. Since I had suffered my share of mischief at the hands of the local Wee Folk, I will confess to a certain schadenfreude at the fairy-fellow’s predicament.
“That’s racist!” the leprechaun yelped. “Let me go, ye bloody nump!”
“Don’t do it, Jared!” one of the college student’s friends advised. “If you capture one of ’em, they have to grant you three wishes!”
“What are ye, five ?” the leprechaun snapped as he continued to try and free himself. “None of that shite from the fairy tales is true! Now put me down!”
“No way!” Jared said, shaking his head. “Not until you give me your pot of gold.”
“Are ye daft as well as drunk?” the leprechaun growled. “I don’t carry me gold around on me person. Besides, it’s all tied up in commodities right now.”
“And I say make with the gold, little dude!” Jared laughed, shaking his captive like a piggy bank, as if a cascade of bullion might pour from the leprechaun’s tiny pockets.
Suddenly Lafo was standing in front of the college student, the sleeves of his shirt pushed up to reveal his muscular forearms. “I’ll have no horseplay in my establishment!” he barked, his voice booming like surf against a rocky shore. “And don’t you numps nowadays know enough not to antagonize the Wee Folk?”
“There’s no reason to get all butthurt, bro’,” Jared replied as he set the leprechaun down. “I wasn’t gonna really do anything to the little fucker. Me and my friends were just having some fun, that’s all.” The college student turned to offer a conciliatory fist bump to the victim of his bullying. “We’re cool, right, little dude?”
The leprechaun responded by pulling a short shillelagh from the sleeve of his jacket and pointing it at the college student. “So ye want me Lucky Charms, eh?” he asked, his high-pitched voice trembling with rage. “Well, by damn, you’ll need them, boyo! May you feast on hogwash and sleep in filth; may you root with your nose as the farmer till’th! ”
Jared doubled over as if punched in the gut by a phantom fist, and dropped to the floor. The college student’s cries of confusion and pain quickly turned into porcine squeals as his hands and feet transformed themselves into trotters and his nose grew and broadened into a twitching pink snout. He frantically thrashed about as he tried to free himself from clothes that no longer fit his newly acquired physique, which came complete with a curlicue tail.
The sight of the transmogrified student’s distress triggered a chorus of laughter from the Calf’s regulars, who were every bit as amused by Jared’s ordeal as the frat boys had been
The woman and her companions hastily gathered up their coats and left the bar, muttering profanities under their breath. The moment the door closed behind them, the regulars gave a ragged cheer and a few came over to clap the pipe smoker on the back and buy him another round.
Hexe, however, did not seem to find the incident quite so amusing. “C’mon, Tate,” he said. “Let’s go upstairs to the dining room.”
Suddenly there came a high-pitched, yet somehow masculine shriek from the back of the house. “Put me down!”
Chapter 6
I turned in the direction of the yell and saw a drunken college student dressed in an Islanders sweatshirt holding a wildly squirming leprechaun over his head as if he were the Stanley Cup, much to the amusement of his equally inebriated companions. Like all of his kind, the leprechaun sported bright red hair and bristling whiskers. However, instead of wearing the stereotypical breeches buckled at the knee and gartered hose, he was outfitted head to toe in scaled-down Versace.
“Don’t let ’im go until he gives you his Lucky Charms!” one of the friends shouted. This particular witticism triggered a round of loud, braying laughter from the surrounding crowd. Since I had suffered my share of mischief at the hands of the local Wee Folk, I will confess to a certain schadenfreude at the fairy-fellow’s predicament.
“That’s racist!” the leprechaun yelped. “Let me go, ye bloody nump!”
“Don’t do it, Jared!” one of the college student’s friends advised. “If you capture one of ’em, they have to grant you three wishes!”
“What are ye, five ?” the leprechaun snapped as he continued to try and free himself. “None of that shite from the fairy tales is true! Now put me down!”
“No way!” Jared said, shaking his head. “Not until you give me your pot of gold.”
“Are ye daft as well as drunk?” the leprechaun growled. “I don’t carry me gold around on me person. Besides, it’s all tied up in commodities right now.”
“And I say make with the gold, little dude!” Jared laughed, shaking his captive like a piggy bank, as if a cascade of bullion might pour from the leprechaun’s tiny pockets.
Suddenly Lafo was standing in front of the college student, the sleeves of his shirt pushed up to reveal his muscular forearms. “I’ll have no horseplay in my establishment!” he barked, his voice booming like surf against a rocky shore. “And don’t you numps nowadays know enough not to antagonize the Wee Folk?”
“There’s no reason to get all butthurt, bro’,” Jared replied as he set the leprechaun down. “I wasn’t gonna really do anything to the little fucker. Me and my friends were just having some fun, that’s all.” The college student turned to offer a conciliatory fist bump to the victim of his bullying. “We’re cool, right, little dude?”
The leprechaun responded by pulling a short shillelagh from the sleeve of his jacket and pointing it at the college student. “So ye want me Lucky Charms, eh?” he asked, his high-pitched voice trembling with rage. “Well, by damn, you’ll need them, boyo! May you feast on hogwash and sleep in filth; may you root with your nose as the farmer till’th! ”
Jared doubled over as if punched in the gut by a phantom fist, and dropped to the floor. The college student’s cries of confusion and pain quickly turned into porcine squeals as his hands and feet transformed themselves into trotters and his nose grew and broadened into a twitching pink snout. He frantically thrashed about as he tried to free himself from clothes that no longer fit his newly acquired physique, which came complete with a curlicue tail.
The sight of the transmogrified student’s distress triggered a chorus of laughter from the Calf’s regulars, who were every bit as amused by Jared’s ordeal as the frat boys had been
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