Read Online Leaving Paradise by Simone Elkeles - Free Book Online Page B

light fixture.
    Before I got convicted I’d come home to find at least ten messages from Kendra, begging me to call. But this time I got home and the answering machine only had one message . . . from Damon.
    I called him back. Our conversation went like this.
    “Caleb?”
    “Yeah?”
    “Good job today. On time and everything.”
    “Thanks.”
    “Keep it up. I’ll call in two days.”
    Woo hoo! He’ll leave me alone for a whopping two days.
    My dad is working late tonight so it’s only me, my mom, and Leah. Leah is pushing her food around on her plate, not really eating. Mom is too busy yakking to her friends on the phone. I don’t think she even realizes Leah and I are sitting at the table with her. I’m thankful when everyone in my house is sleeping. It’s the only time it resembles the old days.
    At night I’m lying in my bed, staring at the clock like I’ve been doing for the past two hours. Three o’clock in the morning. I can’t sleep. Too many thoughts running through my useless head. Maybe I need an uncomfortable and overly used mattress like I had in the DOC in order to get a full night of sleep.
    Throwing the covers back, I stand up and pace my bedroom. The picture of Kendra on my headboard is staring back at me, her smile a secret promise between the two of us. I snatch the cordless phone from the living room and take it back to my bedroom.
    I dial Kendra’s number, her private line that only rings in her bedroom, but I hang up before it rings. What if she’s dating someone else and doesn’t want to talk to me? I sure as hell don’t want to be running after her if she’s hanging with another guy.
    I look out the window, gauging how long it’ll be until the sun comes creeping up. In the DOC, there were always guys who couldn’t sleep. You could see them across the way sitting in their bunks, or you could hear them tossing and turning. The new guys and youngest kids had the hardest time. They’d be crying silently, the only indication being a random sniffle or shoulders slumped over and shaking. Even though some of them were just twelve or thirteen, they tried to act like men.
    But they were, in the end, just boys.
    I notice a light turn on in Maggie’s bedroom, the glow outlining the curtains covering her window. I have computer class with her, but usually I sit in the back while she takes a seat in the front row. I keep my head down because the kids in class are analyzing my every move. When the bell rings, Maggie is the first one out . . . sometimes I think she’s out of there before the bell even rings. Does she think she’s the only one affected by the accident?

fourteen
    Maggie
    Ican’t sleep after my nightmares and have to turn my light on to stay awake. At least this time I didn’t wake Mom up screaming.
    This nightmare was different. Kendra Greene drove the car, not Caleb. In all my other nightmares, it’s Caleb at the wheel of the car that hit me.
    I guess it’s because I saw Kendra talking to Caleb in the cafeteria yesterday. He didn’t see me because I sit right next to the doors so I can leave as soon as I’ve finished eating.
    The cafeteria is a strange place. The populars can be spotted right away. They’re loud and laugh a lot. The regular people sit in their own cliques, totally separate from the popular lunch tables.
    I used to be a popular. Most athletes in Paradise are populars. But now I’m a loner who doesn’t even mingle with the regulars, not even the lowest ones.
    Loners sit by themselves, scattered throughout the lunchroom. They eat alone, then make their hasty exits.
    I never knew where the loners went to, they just disappeared during lunch hour. But now that I am a loner I know that secret place.
    The school library. It’s the mysterious place you can go to and not be seen.
    Caleb isn’t afraid of attention. He walked right into the cafeteria yesterday, his head held high as if he was Mr. Meyer himself. Then he went right up to Kendra Greene and said