Read Online Leave the Lights On by Karen Stivali - Free Book Online Page B

over at the thought. Not wanting to tell her was what had made him flee like a goddamn coward in the first place. Walking to the kitchen window, he scanned Sophie’s house. The backyard was dark, but he could see a light glowing from the kitchen window. She’s still up. I’m probably the last person she wants to talk to, but she’s still up.
    Stepping out into the night air, Parker’s legs felt heavy. Things can’t get worse than they are right now. Just talk to her.
     
     
    He knocked on the back door. Nothing. He could see a light glowing from farther down the hallway. Scratching the back of his neck and inhaling deeply, he knocked louder. Please come to the door.
    A shadow appeared in the corridor, and he held his breath as he saw her peek around the corner. She padded toward the door, barefoot. Parker stepped inside as soon as she opened up, afraid that if he gave her more time to consider, she’d slam it in his face.
    Standing before him, arms wrapped tightly around herself, she looked so sad it broke his heart. He wanted nothing more than to turn back time to an hour before. To go back to kissing her in the kitchen with her warm body pressed against his. The makeup had been scrubbed off her face but she looked even more beautiful to him than she had on their date.
    “Can we talk?”
    She shrugged and stepped aside. “If you want.”
    I want you. He wished he could lead with those words but he knew they had more to discuss than that.
    Sophie closed the door and leaned against it, arms hugging herself again. Now that she was facing him, the light reflected off her eyes—eyes rimmed in red. Fuck. She’s been crying.
    “I’m sorry, Soph.”
    She ducked her head, shaking it from side to side. Her hair swept back and forth in front of her so Parker couldn’t even see her face. “No, I’m sorry. I misread. I shouldn’t have, I didn’t mean—”
    “Misread what?”
    “I thought… Never mind. Look, let’s just forget it, okay? I mean I get it. You don’t think of me that way. It’s fine. I’m not exactly relationship material.”
    His desire to touch her was so strong his arms hurt. “Don’t think of you that way? Sophie, I can’t think of you any other way. I didn’t leave because I’m not attracted you. I left because if I stayed I thought we might have…”
    “And you didn’t want to. Jesus, Parker, please don’t apologize for not wanting to have sex with me.”
    “Not wanting…” Parker’s heart beat so loudly he could barely hear his own thoughts. “I want to have sex with you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
    Sophie’s gaze darted up and she stared at him, her eyes filled with confusion. Her lovely features were pained and clouded. She shook her head again. “But you left.”
    “I didn’t leave because of you. I left because of me.”
    “It’s not you it’s me? Really? Tell me you didn’t just say that.”
    Christ. Parker scrubbed his hand through his hair. Tell her. “I didn’t mean it that way. I just…”
    “Just what?” Her exasperation was evident.
    Tell. Her. Bracing himself, he swallowed and looked straight into her dark eyes. Say it. “I’ve never done this before.”
    Her brows pinched together, furrowing her forehead. “Done what? Pity sex? Because I don’t need—”
    “What are you talking about?”
    “This.” She waved her hand back and forth between them. “Us. I’m just a friend you felt sorry for, and you couldn’t go through with it. I told you, I get it.”
    What? No. Shit. “Sophie, I’ve never had sex.”
    Watching her mouth drop open, he seriously wished the ground would open up beneath him and swallow him whole. His cheeks burned. His jaw ached. She thinks I’m a total loser.
    Snorting she shook her head again. “Christ, Parker. You don’t have to lie. I’m a big girl. I can handle not being wanted.”
    Parker stared at her. Of all the reactions he’d imagined, it had never occurred to him that she wouldn’t believe him.