Read Online Laugh Lines: Conversations With Comedians by Corey Andrew, Kathleen Madigan, Jimmy Valentine, Kevin Duncan, Joe Anders, Dave Kirk - Free Book Online Page B

kill each other in these fights. You have that whole bit. I work backward. I usually hear the ending of the bit in there somewhere.
     
    A computer guy came over to my house the other day. This is a new bit I’ve been doing lately. As he’s trying to explain what’s wrong with my computer, he assumed I was an idiot, not knowing about computers because I had to call him over. The observational part of the bit, the ending of the bit is this: He finally explained what was wrong with my computer. He started doing this thing where he’s giving the components character voices to act them out. ‘So basically your hard drive’s like (changing to deep male voice), “Listen I’ve got a lot of information coming at me,” but what’s happening here, your modem is like (switching to Minnie Mouse-like voice), “Hey, you know, I’m trying to process …”’ And in my head I know I’ve got a bit. This guy is talking to me? I’ve had mechanics do that to me, too. ‘Your engine’s like (scratchy old man voice) “Ay-ah, I’m trying to push everything out.”’ So that was the end. That was observational/relatable part. Then I’ve got a fucked-up, twisted humor. I’ll work backward, and I’ll create the best possible set-up of what I think is funny to get me to where you go, ‘Oh, I know that.’ That’s the blend.
     
    Corey: That’s a little bit how your mind works.
     
    Dane: A little bit. Everything is always the work in progress. I knew when I heard the guy do that, it was a no-brainer. That’s going in the show.
     
    Corey: You do sound effects and voices in your show. Have you been doing those your entire comedy career?
     
    Dane: Yeah, my whole thing with comedy is, I wanted to be a comic since I was very young. I never remember wanting to be anything else. I would study comics. When I was very young, my family would let me watch Johnny Carson. I wouldn’t even laugh. I would sit and watch old Carlin. My dad was really cool. He let me watch old Pryor or Redd Fox even. I wouldn’t really laugh. My family would be laughing. I would be studying it in my head, going, ‘That’s funny,’ and more trying to figure out the tricks. I knew watching Johnny Carson it wasn’t so much what he was saying that people loved; it was Johnny.
     
    When I started getting into comics, and people were like, ‘What kind of comic do you want to be?’ I said, ‘Well, I’d love to be a comic that isn’t really labeled. I’d like to learn as many tricks and tools over the years to try anything.’ I’m a naturally physical guy, but I want to use language. I want to use my vernacular. I want to expand my vocabulary. I want to paint better verbal pictures. I like to move around. I like to sell a bit and act it out. If a sound effect helps, great. If subtlety—nothing—works, great. I’ve watched the Bill Hicks; I’ve watched the Sam Kinisons. I watch all these guys. I’m 15 years in, and I feel I’m just starting to get good. I feel like I’m really, really getting good now. Part of that is allowing myself to not really be categorized as, ‘Oh, he’s just the physical guy.’ I want to be able to be in-your-face, aggressive, observational, silly, stupid, corny, laid-back, over-the-top. I want to use all those elements to put on a show. I still hang out in clubs almost every night, and I still watch most of the show so I can absorb and see what I can do to make my show better.
     
    Corey: You did the Dennis Leary roast. How do you prepare?
     
    Dane: They asked me to do the Jeff Foxworthy one, but I really don’t know Jeff. Sometimes guys will do those and not even know the guy that well. I don’t want it to be a put-on. I’ve known Dennis for years. I love it because it’s such a different approach to stand-up. I love to do anything away from stand-up, but still in entertainment that challenges me, whether it’s acting or music or whatever it is. When they say, ‘Do you want to do the roast?’ I thought, I’ve