admitting he was right. He knew I'd end up back here, while I thought I could go out and be a success in the world.”
“Jesus, Michael! You have, you did, you are. You made your way in a different country, you're a great doctor, you've got a great son.”
He shook his head. “I tried. I knew I could never compete with Gabe. That's why I went to Oz, and it was why I stayed there in the beginning. Growing up it was always so obvious he was the smart one, the driven one. I was just the funny one, bouncing along behind. I wanted to be a success in my own right. I could never be that while I was in his shadow.”
Ben was looking at him quizzically. “I never, ever, thought of you as being in Gabe's shadow. You were both such bright lights.”
“Nah, he was the main act, I was the clown. Still that way now. He's got his law firm in New York, going from strength to strength, bringing justice to the world, leaping tall buildings, all that good shit. Me? I'm back in Hicksville, California, settling down as a small-time, small-town doc.”
Ben shook his head. “I had no idea you felt that way, bud. It's not how I see you. I've always bragged about my buddy, the doctor. Whenever you're coming back I tell people about my friend Michael, how they'll love him when they meet him, he's so smart and funny—and successful.”
Michael shook his head. “Aww, just listen to you, Mr. Supportive Friend. How come you're not married with a bunch of kids? Surely women love you? You're kind, caring, you always know the right thing to say to make people feel better. You're everything women look for and rarely find. Why hasn't some lucky lady snagged you already? Are you ever going to tell me the story?”
Ben shook his head. “Not going there. This conversation isn't about me, it's about you. My story can wait for another day. I cannot believe that you don't feel successful. You're a great doctor and a great dad. ”
Michael shrugged. “I guess when you grow up with a brother like Gabe, it's hard to feel that you're great at anything, because he was always the greatest. I did okay when I first went to Oz, but being with Kay did a number on me too. I know I'm a good dad, but I had to be. I had to learn real fast. She was never interested in Ethan, or in me for that matter. She married me because she was pregnant. She stayed with me because she liked the idea of the money. It's hard to feel successful when your wife is sleeping around and partying. It's even more difficult when she leaves you and your five year old boy so she can party harder and not have to explain herself to either of you.”
“Yeah, but look what you've done in the last five years. You built a great practice over there and now you're taking over from your dad here. You might not be leaping tall buildings, but what you're doing is much more important. You don't really dismiss the importance of a small-town doc do you? You're not telling me you don't understand everything your dad has done for the people of Summer Lake. Everything he means to them? And I know full well you're proud of Ethan and the relationship the two of you have.”
Michael nodded. “I know, mate. You're right. It's just, when I get around Gabe the old feelings of inadequacy start to surface, that's all. I'll never achieve the kind of success he has.”
Ben shook his head. “And he'll never achieve the kind of success you have. You're different people. He has his strengths, you have yours. He could never have raised a kid by himself the way you have with Ethan. He'll never achieve that kind of success, few men ever will.”
Michael took a deep breath. “That's what makes me feel like a big, fat failure, Ben. I do okay for Ethan. I know that. Within the framework of what we have, I do great. But every kid should have a mum, and Ethan doesn't. I failed him.”
Ben grasped his shoulder. “You've not failed him. From what you’ve told me over the years, he's much better off without Kay in his
“Jesus, Michael! You have, you did, you are. You made your way in a different country, you're a great doctor, you've got a great son.”
He shook his head. “I tried. I knew I could never compete with Gabe. That's why I went to Oz, and it was why I stayed there in the beginning. Growing up it was always so obvious he was the smart one, the driven one. I was just the funny one, bouncing along behind. I wanted to be a success in my own right. I could never be that while I was in his shadow.”
Ben was looking at him quizzically. “I never, ever, thought of you as being in Gabe's shadow. You were both such bright lights.”
“Nah, he was the main act, I was the clown. Still that way now. He's got his law firm in New York, going from strength to strength, bringing justice to the world, leaping tall buildings, all that good shit. Me? I'm back in Hicksville, California, settling down as a small-time, small-town doc.”
Ben shook his head. “I had no idea you felt that way, bud. It's not how I see you. I've always bragged about my buddy, the doctor. Whenever you're coming back I tell people about my friend Michael, how they'll love him when they meet him, he's so smart and funny—and successful.”
Michael shook his head. “Aww, just listen to you, Mr. Supportive Friend. How come you're not married with a bunch of kids? Surely women love you? You're kind, caring, you always know the right thing to say to make people feel better. You're everything women look for and rarely find. Why hasn't some lucky lady snagged you already? Are you ever going to tell me the story?”
Ben shook his head. “Not going there. This conversation isn't about me, it's about you. My story can wait for another day. I cannot believe that you don't feel successful. You're a great doctor and a great dad. ”
Michael shrugged. “I guess when you grow up with a brother like Gabe, it's hard to feel that you're great at anything, because he was always the greatest. I did okay when I first went to Oz, but being with Kay did a number on me too. I know I'm a good dad, but I had to be. I had to learn real fast. She was never interested in Ethan, or in me for that matter. She married me because she was pregnant. She stayed with me because she liked the idea of the money. It's hard to feel successful when your wife is sleeping around and partying. It's even more difficult when she leaves you and your five year old boy so she can party harder and not have to explain herself to either of you.”
“Yeah, but look what you've done in the last five years. You built a great practice over there and now you're taking over from your dad here. You might not be leaping tall buildings, but what you're doing is much more important. You don't really dismiss the importance of a small-town doc do you? You're not telling me you don't understand everything your dad has done for the people of Summer Lake. Everything he means to them? And I know full well you're proud of Ethan and the relationship the two of you have.”
Michael nodded. “I know, mate. You're right. It's just, when I get around Gabe the old feelings of inadequacy start to surface, that's all. I'll never achieve the kind of success he has.”
Ben shook his head. “And he'll never achieve the kind of success you have. You're different people. He has his strengths, you have yours. He could never have raised a kid by himself the way you have with Ethan. He'll never achieve that kind of success, few men ever will.”
Michael took a deep breath. “That's what makes me feel like a big, fat failure, Ben. I do okay for Ethan. I know that. Within the framework of what we have, I do great. But every kid should have a mum, and Ethan doesn't. I failed him.”
Ben grasped his shoulder. “You've not failed him. From what you’ve told me over the years, he's much better off without Kay in his
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