Latin America Diaries

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Authors: Ernesto «Che» Guevara
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but later Herbert Zeissig started asking for more information about me, whether or not I was affiliated with the party, etc. Hilda didn’t speak to Sra. Helena de Holst but […] sent her a telegram. The asthma continues. Gualo is getting impatient to leave.
    Two more days to add to this succession, and nothing new is expected. I didn’t move because of the asthma, but I feel it’sapproaching a climax, with vomiting at night. Helenita de Holst has tried to get in touch with me, so in fact that’s where I’m placing most of my hope. Hilda Gadea is still very worried about me, and is always coming by and bringing things. Julia Mejías found me a house in Amatitlán to stay for the weekend. Herbert Zeissig avoided having to make a final decision, sending me to see V.M. Gutiérrez 46 to obtain the support of the Communist Party, which seems doubtful to me.
    One more day, although hope is renewed as my health begins to improve. Today will be decisive, and Gualo will definitely leave tomorrow at dawn; he’s not sleeping here. Rojo paid half the bill at the boarding house. I owe 45 quetzals. I still don’t know whether I’ll be going to Amatitlán tomorrow; when Gualo arrives I’ll know for sure either way.
    I visited Sra. de Holst, who was very kind to me, but her promises, no doubt sincere, are dependent on the minister for public health — and he’s already given me the cold shoulder. In the evening I visited Julia Valerini, who had lost a little boy and had had a shocking headache all day.
    Two long days, with a strange chill, especially outside in the evenings, with shivering and so on. After a youth festival organized by Myrna, 47 where I’d gone with Hilda for a change, I beat it to the banks of a lake to sleep, and then the shivering started. The next day, Sunday, I bought some provisions at the market and walked very slowly to the other side of the lake. I had a wonderful siesta, then tried to drink some mate but the water wastoo bitter. At nightfall I made a fire for a barbecue, but the wood was no good, I was already freezing, and the barbecue was shit. I threw half of it in the lake to destroy any trace of the ignominy.
    I was walking back slowly when I came across a drunk who made the trip seem shorter. A van picked us up and here I am.
    Monday saw nothing worth mentioning, except for Peñalver’s pronouncement that he’s working on securing a medical position for me. Sra. de Holst doesn’t know anyone well enough in the PAR [Partido Acción Revolucionario], the main party in that department, to ask them for something like that. We’ll see.
    A day of conscious desperation, due not to the cyclical crisis but the cold analysis of reality. My job as overseer at the Argentine’s is the only sure thing. I’ve given up the idea of being a doctor for the trade unions; thejob in a peasant community and the other one from Helenita de Holst are still up in the air. I met Pellecer 48 —in my view, neither fish nor fowl.
    The rest continues on its daily course. I meet people on both the left and the right. If things continue like this, in no time I’ll be working as a bill poster to pay my expenses and other things. We’ll see.
    I finally received a letter from home and know the answer on the mate —no, no, no. The day slipped by because I had no energy and took to my room for a nap. The boss Dícono didn’t leave, only his wife, who gave me a mango that should have been thrown away.
    Tomorrow I might go to the country for the job at the colony.
    Several days have passed, two of them at La Viña colony. A spectacular place, in a landscape similar to the Sierras Grandes in Córdoba, and human material to be worked into shape. But they lack that essential ingredient: the desire to pay for a doctorof their own. My stay was wonderful, but on the way back I realized something had disagreed with my stomach, and I had to vomit.

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