on Stevieâs loyalty and her long-standing affection to save Nick from himself. But it hadnât worked out that way.
Stevie couldnât save him. Nobody could. That would have to come from Nick. Instead, sheâd chosen to save herself, by leaving Nick and standing on her own two feet. Mama had said she understoodâbut Stevie had the feeling that the older woman was still waiting patiently for Stevie and Nick to get back together.
What would Mama say if she knew that not only was that
not
going to happen ⦠but Stevie was now with Paul? Would Mama think her some kind of tramp for skipping from one brother to the next?
âYes. Of course she would.â God, Mama would give her âthe look.â That look that left a burning ache in Stevieâs chest and an emptiness in her heart. The look that said Mama was disappointed in her.
Theyâd all hate her. Theyâd have to. What familywouldnât? Heck, if she didnât know herself better,
sheâd
hate her, too. This was all so ⦠sleazy somehow. Stevie rolled her shoulders and winced. Sheâd never thought of herself as sleazy, and yet ⦠if the Scarlet Letter fit â¦
Plus, she knew darn well, if it came down to choosing sides and picking either Stevie or Nick and Paul ⦠sheâd be on the outside looking in. The Candellanos would close ranks and sheâd lose the only family sheâd ever known.
Sheâd be alone again.
Every cold, lonely corner of her heart suddenly ached fiercely.
âAre you going to lose it all because of an attack of hormones?â she muttered, and slammed the trunk shut. Metal crashed against metal and she absent-mindedly patted her car in silent apology. âNo. No, Iâm not.â
She never should have let that night with Paul get so out of control. Heck, she still wasnât exactly sure how it had all happened. All she knew for certain was that sheâd like to have it happen again.
If
there were no consequences. If no one would be hurt. If beggars could ride. If wishes came true.
No chance of that.
So no chance of reliving that sense of magic.
And knowing that was enough to make her nuts. Especially in the middle of the night, when there was only her heartbeat in her house. When the only sounds of life were the voices coming from the television that she routinely left on for company. When she lay there in her bed, feeling more alone than anyone should haveto be. When the thought of Paul touching her was enough to light backfires in her bloodstream.
That was her only problem.
If she could just avoid nighttime, sheâd be good.
Except of course for times like now ⦠when it was broad daylight and all she could think of was Paul.
âDamn it.â Disgusted, she walked to the driverâs-side door, opened it, and climbed in. Firing up the engine of her trusty red Blazer, Stevie pushed thoughts of naked Paul out of her mind and concentrated on getting to the local shelter in one piece.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
He was doing the right thing.
That was important.
It was, in fact, one of the main rules Paul lived by. Do the right thing. Maybe that made him some kind of Boy Scout or something, but it had always seemed like the smart thing to do. Not to mention the easiest.
When you started lying and creating all kinds of diversions to get you out of whatever you should have been doing in the first place, it became a real time waster.
âSo why,â he asked himself, staring out the second-story window of his office, âisnât it easier?â
For two days heâd buried himself in work. Shutting himself up in the office, heâd had his secretary hold all calls and heâd simply dived into the new program design project heâd been working on for months. Work had always been his great escape. His brother Nick had the football field and Paul had computers. Algorithms. Numbers. What bored most people to
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