. . . but what if I could persuade him to let Sparky come over with me on Friday night?’
‘Er . . . yeah. I guess,’ I said, frowning. I wasn’t sure how Sparky was going to help. And Jaffa was already scared enough as it was.
‘I was thinking,’ Bex said, ‘Sparky’s a pretty brave little pooch. Borders are feisty hunters, you know. They’re bred to go down holes and ferret out – er, well, ferrets! And rabbits and rats. That kind of thing.’
I stared at her, rather alarmed at the turn this conversation was taking.
Bex laughed. ‘Don’t look at me like that! I’m thinking of using Sparky to protect Jaffa , not frighten her any more than she is already!’ she said. ‘Listen, you reckon Jaffa’s not to blame for everything that’s been happening, right? But you haven’t got any proof either way, and it looks like it’s going to be pretty tricky to get proof, as the intruder seems to be crafty enough to know it can only come in while no humans are around.’
‘Right,’ I said.
‘Soooo,’ said Bex slowly, as if incredulous that I had not yet got the point, ‘Sparky could be shut in the utility room, near the cat flap, while we keep Jaffa safely out of the way. If the animal decides to chance its luck again, it will have Sparky to reckon with!’
Bex sounded a lot more positive than I felt about this idea, but I had to admit I hadn’t come up with anything better.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Sounds like a plan.’
Dad agreed right away that Sparky could come over that Friday night. I was a bit gobsmacked by what was happening to Dad lately, to be honest.
‘First he goes and falls head over heels for you and lets me keep you,’ I said to Jaffa, ‘then he gets himself a girlfriend (who is actually quite nice, I have to admit), and then he lets his girlfriend’s dog come over and spend the evening with us.’
And this was the man who was once famous for his hatred of all things four-legged and furry, and who had not spoken to anyone who was not to do with work, my school or my friends since, like, forever.
‘Dog?’ said Jaffa, shivering slightly. ‘Jaffsie not sure she like a big woofy doggy to come here.’
I smiled and hugged her. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll love Sparky. He’s cute and he wouldn’t hurt a fly.’
Best not to mention the fact that he likes chasing small furry animals, I thought.
‘Mmm. Me is hoping Bertie is right about this,’ Jaffa said in a small voice, fitting herself into my arms in a tight ball.
‘The whole reason Sparky is coming is to protect you,’ I tried to reassure her. ‘Think of him as your own personal guard dog.’
Jaffa looked at me in horror. ‘What does Bertie mean, “ guard dog”?’ she asked, stiff with fright.
‘Hey, hey, what’s the matter?’ I cooed. ‘I’m just trying to help, you know.’
‘Bertie must not let no dog do no guarding of Jaffsie! Nobody nor nothing is allowed to see the . . . the . . . thing!’ she stammered. ‘Jaffsie be in big bad trouble!’
I lost my patience. ‘Listen, Jaffa,’ I said. ‘I’m getting a bit fed up with this. What is this “thing” you’re going on about?’ I waited for a response, but Jaffa had shrunk in on herself and was avoiding eye contact. I sighed loudly. ‘So. You see? If you won’t talk to me, you’ll have to let me work this out my way. And I reckon Bex has come up with a brilliant plan actually. If Sparky sees anything, he can show it his teeth and bark at it loudly. Then it’ll get a fright, won’t it? And serve it right.’
I was getting so worked up thinking about this mystery creature getting its just deserts that I hadn’t noticed the effect of my words on Jaffa. Her hackles had risen, her eyes were wider than I’d ever seen them and her back was arched. ‘TEETH?’ she hissed. ‘Me is not having nobody else with big teeth comin’ in my house!’
‘Nobody else?’ I said quickly. ‘What do you mean, ‘nobody else’?’
‘I mean, not nobody,’ said
‘Er . . . yeah. I guess,’ I said, frowning. I wasn’t sure how Sparky was going to help. And Jaffa was already scared enough as it was.
‘I was thinking,’ Bex said, ‘Sparky’s a pretty brave little pooch. Borders are feisty hunters, you know. They’re bred to go down holes and ferret out – er, well, ferrets! And rabbits and rats. That kind of thing.’
I stared at her, rather alarmed at the turn this conversation was taking.
Bex laughed. ‘Don’t look at me like that! I’m thinking of using Sparky to protect Jaffa , not frighten her any more than she is already!’ she said. ‘Listen, you reckon Jaffa’s not to blame for everything that’s been happening, right? But you haven’t got any proof either way, and it looks like it’s going to be pretty tricky to get proof, as the intruder seems to be crafty enough to know it can only come in while no humans are around.’
‘Right,’ I said.
‘Soooo,’ said Bex slowly, as if incredulous that I had not yet got the point, ‘Sparky could be shut in the utility room, near the cat flap, while we keep Jaffa safely out of the way. If the animal decides to chance its luck again, it will have Sparky to reckon with!’
Bex sounded a lot more positive than I felt about this idea, but I had to admit I hadn’t come up with anything better.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Sounds like a plan.’
Dad agreed right away that Sparky could come over that Friday night. I was a bit gobsmacked by what was happening to Dad lately, to be honest.
‘First he goes and falls head over heels for you and lets me keep you,’ I said to Jaffa, ‘then he gets himself a girlfriend (who is actually quite nice, I have to admit), and then he lets his girlfriend’s dog come over and spend the evening with us.’
And this was the man who was once famous for his hatred of all things four-legged and furry, and who had not spoken to anyone who was not to do with work, my school or my friends since, like, forever.
‘Dog?’ said Jaffa, shivering slightly. ‘Jaffsie not sure she like a big woofy doggy to come here.’
I smiled and hugged her. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll love Sparky. He’s cute and he wouldn’t hurt a fly.’
Best not to mention the fact that he likes chasing small furry animals, I thought.
‘Mmm. Me is hoping Bertie is right about this,’ Jaffa said in a small voice, fitting herself into my arms in a tight ball.
‘The whole reason Sparky is coming is to protect you,’ I tried to reassure her. ‘Think of him as your own personal guard dog.’
Jaffa looked at me in horror. ‘What does Bertie mean, “ guard dog”?’ she asked, stiff with fright.
‘Hey, hey, what’s the matter?’ I cooed. ‘I’m just trying to help, you know.’
‘Bertie must not let no dog do no guarding of Jaffsie! Nobody nor nothing is allowed to see the . . . the . . . thing!’ she stammered. ‘Jaffsie be in big bad trouble!’
I lost my patience. ‘Listen, Jaffa,’ I said. ‘I’m getting a bit fed up with this. What is this “thing” you’re going on about?’ I waited for a response, but Jaffa had shrunk in on herself and was avoiding eye contact. I sighed loudly. ‘So. You see? If you won’t talk to me, you’ll have to let me work this out my way. And I reckon Bex has come up with a brilliant plan actually. If Sparky sees anything, he can show it his teeth and bark at it loudly. Then it’ll get a fright, won’t it? And serve it right.’
I was getting so worked up thinking about this mystery creature getting its just deserts that I hadn’t noticed the effect of my words on Jaffa. Her hackles had risen, her eyes were wider than I’d ever seen them and her back was arched. ‘TEETH?’ she hissed. ‘Me is not having nobody else with big teeth comin’ in my house!’
‘Nobody else?’ I said quickly. ‘What do you mean, ‘nobody else’?’
‘I mean, not nobody,’ said
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