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Authors: Zoë Ferraris
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wooden bench on the top deck. She imagined that he’d planned for this: having Katya arrive at his boat and not wanting to lead her downstairs, where they’d be alone and out of sight. The neighbors might notice and begin talking. She sat beneath the umbrella, feeling oddly pleased, while Nayir bent to a corner and retrieved the next surprise: a small battery-powered fan. He switched it on and coolish air blew across her lap. She smiled.
“This is very thoughtful of you.”
He excused himself and climbed down the ladder, emerging a minute later with a small cooler full of ice, bottled water, andsoda. She took a Pepsi. He sat across from her and turned slightly to the side so that he wouldn’t stare directly at her face. She sipped the soda.
“It sounds like you’re busy at work,” he said.
Yes
, she wanted to reply,
and I have no idea how I’m going to get married and have kids and be a mother and a wife when I’m supposed to be at work twelve hours a day, and sometimes more
. Beyond that, how could she explain that the tedious lab work had lost its appeal? That she was struggling to push herself up a notch by getting more directly involved in investigations? That she had even, last week, taken the bold step of applying to the female police academy? What would he say to
that?
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I wanted to come by sooner, but yes, I’ve been extremely busy.”
He nodded. “Actually, your timing is perfect,” he said. “I was in the desert. I just got back last night.”
“Were you working?”
“Yes. I took a family to the Empty Quarter.”
“I’ve never been out there,” she said.
“It’s beautiful. And safe enough, if you’re prepared for it.” He looked at her then, which she found quite bold. Then he returned his gaze to the sea. She realized that something had shifted in him, as if a deep tectonic instability had rumbled and tossed and was finally settling into place.
She was struck suddenly with panic. She was twenty-nine and she ought to feel some urgency to get married, but instead she was terrified. She could see her father’s disappointed face as vividly as if he were standing in front of her. If her mother were still alive, she would cry to see Katya unmarried at this age.
“Have you thought any more about my proposal?” he asked.
“Yes.” They had reached this point too quickly. She felt them skidding into a crash.
“Ah,” he said.
She was outside all thought. Her only conscious awareness was that if she said no, she would hurt him irreparably.
“I applied to the police academy,” she blurted.
He studied her for a moment, which she found disconcerting. Then he looked down at his hands, and she caught the flicker of a smile. “That’s a big step,” he said.
“Yes.”
He came to sit next to her. For a moment it seemed that he might take her hand, but he refrained. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes,” she said quickly. “I’m sure.”
“You don’t want to work in the lab anymore?”
“No.”
“But how will you be a cop?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I want to work in Homicide. I want to be a detective.”
He looked into her eyes, which brought on a terrific swell of panic. “I’ve said this before, but I want you to know that whatever it is, we’ll find a way to work it out.”
She took his hand, realized her own were shaking. He saw it, too, and squeezed her hand in his. His eyes didn’t leave her face, and their expression said
Just say yes, yes…
.
“Yes,” she said.
“Yes, you’ll marry me?”
She nodded. “That’s my answer—
yes
.”
He smiled in a way she’d never seen before, a big delighted grin. He ran a hand down his face to try to soften it, but it sprang back like a cowlick. She smiled at him.
Just then a neighbor came out of his boat. Nayir dropped her hand and quickly stood up. The neighbor scarcely noticed the two of them sitting there, but to Nayir he might have been God himself sitting in judgment
“This is very thoughtful of you.”
He excused himself and climbed down the ladder, emerging a minute later with a small cooler full of ice, bottled water, andsoda. She took a Pepsi. He sat across from her and turned slightly to the side so that he wouldn’t stare directly at her face. She sipped the soda.
“It sounds like you’re busy at work,” he said.
Yes
, she wanted to reply,
and I have no idea how I’m going to get married and have kids and be a mother and a wife when I’m supposed to be at work twelve hours a day, and sometimes more
. Beyond that, how could she explain that the tedious lab work had lost its appeal? That she was struggling to push herself up a notch by getting more directly involved in investigations? That she had even, last week, taken the bold step of applying to the female police academy? What would he say to
that?
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I wanted to come by sooner, but yes, I’ve been extremely busy.”
He nodded. “Actually, your timing is perfect,” he said. “I was in the desert. I just got back last night.”
“Were you working?”
“Yes. I took a family to the Empty Quarter.”
“I’ve never been out there,” she said.
“It’s beautiful. And safe enough, if you’re prepared for it.” He looked at her then, which she found quite bold. Then he returned his gaze to the sea. She realized that something had shifted in him, as if a deep tectonic instability had rumbled and tossed and was finally settling into place.
She was struck suddenly with panic. She was twenty-nine and she ought to feel some urgency to get married, but instead she was terrified. She could see her father’s disappointed face as vividly as if he were standing in front of her. If her mother were still alive, she would cry to see Katya unmarried at this age.
“Have you thought any more about my proposal?” he asked.
“Yes.” They had reached this point too quickly. She felt them skidding into a crash.
“Ah,” he said.
She was outside all thought. Her only conscious awareness was that if she said no, she would hurt him irreparably.
“I applied to the police academy,” she blurted.
He studied her for a moment, which she found disconcerting. Then he looked down at his hands, and she caught the flicker of a smile. “That’s a big step,” he said.
“Yes.”
He came to sit next to her. For a moment it seemed that he might take her hand, but he refrained. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes,” she said quickly. “I’m sure.”
“You don’t want to work in the lab anymore?”
“No.”
“But how will you be a cop?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I want to work in Homicide. I want to be a detective.”
He looked into her eyes, which brought on a terrific swell of panic. “I’ve said this before, but I want you to know that whatever it is, we’ll find a way to work it out.”
She took his hand, realized her own were shaking. He saw it, too, and squeezed her hand in his. His eyes didn’t leave her face, and their expression said
Just say yes, yes…
.
“Yes,” she said.
“Yes, you’ll marry me?”
She nodded. “That’s my answer—
yes
.”
He smiled in a way she’d never seen before, a big delighted grin. He ran a hand down his face to try to soften it, but it sprang back like a cowlick. She smiled at him.
Just then a neighbor came out of his boat. Nayir dropped her hand and quickly stood up. The neighbor scarcely noticed the two of them sitting there, but to Nayir he might have been God himself sitting in judgment
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