believe that anymore. I don’t feel like I believe it. My stomach is in knots as I stare at Lola, her face a mask of worry and excitement. The worry I understand and, unfortunately, the excitement I do as well. I’ve seen the looks she’s been exchanging with Stephan. The promises in his eyes. I could kill him for the looks he’s giving her, but I know he’s doing it to rile me up. He’s doing it to make me lose focus. They don’t want me in the inner circle. Casper and Stephan are threatened by the changes I would make. They don’t want the status quo to be different. They don’t want to lose their authority and power. And that’s exactly why I want in so badly. I was mad at myself and at Lola’s friend Anna for letting Lola go through with this. For me. She was doing it for me and I felt sick to my stomach. It was a means to an end, but I didn’t wonder if I wasn’t selling my soul to the devil to reach that end. She looked so beautiful standing there next to me, waiting. I could see all eyes on her, wondering who she was and what she had that she’d gotten me. I could see the snarl on Violeta’s face as she glanced at Lola. She was going to make it even more uncomfortable for her, I just knew it. I was about to grab Lola’s arm and whisk her out of the room. I was about to grab her and tell he r — command he r — to leave with me, but as I stood there, I realized that a part of me didn’t want to. A part of me wanted to know who she was going to choose. A part of me didn’t want to give up the power of waiting to see what was going to happen. I didn’t know if that was stupid of me or not. I didn’t know what I should be doing as a man who loved her. For I was almost positive that I loved her with every fiber of my being. It was only a little voice in the back of my head that made me doubt myself. It asked me why I would have even brought her here if I loved her. That was the voice I ignored. That was the voice I didn’t want to hear. No one questioned my motives. Not even my subconscious.
Chapter Twelve
Lola
“Can I have everyone’s attention, please?” Charles spoke up loudly, his voice smug as he looked around the room. I could see the other two girls looking as timid as I felt, and Violeta stood there proud and comfortable.
“Can I have all the girls come up to me, please?” He waved us over to him and I looked at Xavier, my heart pounding. He gazed at me with a slightly anxious expression and I knew that he was wondering if I was going to go ahead.
“You don’t have to do this,” he said softly as he stepped towards me, his hands touching my waist lightly. “If you’re not comfortable, we can leave.”
“We don’t have to leave.” I shook my head. “I’m fine,” I lied and watched the three other girls walking over to Charles. “I’m fine,” I said again as I made my way over to Charles myself. My warm face told me I was a liar, as did my clammy hands. I was freaking out inside. I had no idea what was about to go on. I had no idea if I was going to be okay with what was about to go on. And even worse, I wasn’t sure how I felt about heading into the unknown. A part of me felt excited and tingly all over. It wasn’t an emotion I was used to: this heart-pounding, panty-wetting, fear-inducing excitement.
“I’m going to be in charge today and I want to explain what’s going to happen,” Charles said as he gazed at all four of us. “Before we go into the main room, you can all wear as much or as little as you want.”
“Do we have to take our clothes off?” the girl next me said and I looked at Charles for his answer. They didn’t really expect us to take our clothes off, did they? They couldn’t expect that. At least not yet.
“At this point, you can wear as little or as much as you want,” he repeated, his eyes peering at the girl in such a way that let her know that as little as possible was preferred. I heard Violeta giggling as she unzipped her dress and
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