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Authors: Candy Harper
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smirked.
‘I’ll enjoy seeing
everyone
.’
WEDNESDAY 25TH JANUARY
When I got to school this morning, I couldn’t find my registration snack or my Chemistry homework, so I emptied the contents of my bag on the table. I still
couldn’t find my post-breakfast pasty, but I did find a couple of Bourbons that were only a bit fluffy around the edges. While I was tucking in, Mrs Webber arrived. I thought I’d let
her in on my brilliant idea about debating.
I said, ‘Mrs W, I am going to set up a club. It’s completely educational and will keep us off the streets and all that. I know how you love to support young people with their futures
as long as it doesn’t interfere with your online poker playing, so when you’ve got a minute free could you sort the room out for me? Something with a coffee machine would be
good.’
Mrs Webber held up a hand. ‘Hold on, hold on, what’s this all about, Faith?’
‘I want to start a debating club with the boys’ school.’
‘I see.’ She curled her lip up in that quite annoying way she has. You’d think, when she was younger, that she would have slept with her mouth Sellotaped into a more attractive
arrangement to sort that out.
‘You’ve got such a suspicious nature, Mrs W!’ I said. ‘It’s all above board. Just a select handful of gifted and talented boys and girls learning the ancient art of
arguing. That’s pretty wholesome, isn’t it?’
She unbuttoned her lip to say, ‘It will need organising.’
‘I can organise.’
Mrs Webber looked pointedly at the contents of my bag which were still higgledy-piggledy on the table.
I fished out my Chemistry book from the sweet wrappers and misdemeanour slips. ‘See? This is exactly where I thought it would be.’
Mrs W leant forward and peeled off the remains of a marmite sandwich from the front cover.
I puffed out a breath of exasperation. ‘Well, I’m not going to be organising sandwiches, am I?’
‘I think you’ll find that teenagers require a lot more instruction than bread products.’
‘What? Honestly, you adults make such a fuss about looking after teenagers. All we really need is large amounts of cash and food.’
‘And someone to mop up afterwards.’ Mrs Webber helped herself to one of the Skittles in my bag pile. ‘I admire your commitment to extracurricular activities, Faith, but
you’ll have to find a teacher to help you run it. Why don’t you try the English department?’
‘Because they’re a load of self-obsessed, unpublished poets with questionable taste in shoes?’
‘Or you could talk to Miss Ramsbottom.’
As you know, I have always been very fond of the English department.
THURSDAY 26TH JANUARY
I met Finn in Juicy Lucy’s after school. I’d been thinking about what I said to the girls about how you have to be firm in your beliefs when talking to boys, so
I decided that I should discuss my firmest belief with Finn – the one where I believe that Finn should be my boyfriend. After a bit of preliminary chit-chat about whether Spider-Man would be
any good at surfing, I said, ‘So . . . we’ve been seeing each other a bit.’
Finn nodded.
‘I have a good time with you.’
‘I have a good time with you too, Faith. You’re always telling funny stories.’
‘Oh, thanks.’
‘Like the crazy vampire lady story you made up.’
I didn’t think it was the time to explain that while Miss Ramsbottom seems to be the stuff of horror films she is actually terrifyingly real, so I moved on.
‘Um . . .’ Which wasn’t the opening I’d rehearsed in my head. ‘I was thinking that maybe we should make it official.’
‘Official?’ His nose creased like he was afraid there was paperwork involved.
‘You know, like boyfriend and girlfriend.’
For a split second, I thought he was going to tell me that he was a free spirit and didn’t want to be tied down, but instead his face cracked into a smile and he said, ‘That would be
awesome.’
Which is pretty . . .
‘I’ll enjoy seeing
everyone
.’
WEDNESDAY 25TH JANUARY
When I got to school this morning, I couldn’t find my registration snack or my Chemistry homework, so I emptied the contents of my bag on the table. I still
couldn’t find my post-breakfast pasty, but I did find a couple of Bourbons that were only a bit fluffy around the edges. While I was tucking in, Mrs Webber arrived. I thought I’d let
her in on my brilliant idea about debating.
I said, ‘Mrs W, I am going to set up a club. It’s completely educational and will keep us off the streets and all that. I know how you love to support young people with their futures
as long as it doesn’t interfere with your online poker playing, so when you’ve got a minute free could you sort the room out for me? Something with a coffee machine would be
good.’
Mrs Webber held up a hand. ‘Hold on, hold on, what’s this all about, Faith?’
‘I want to start a debating club with the boys’ school.’
‘I see.’ She curled her lip up in that quite annoying way she has. You’d think, when she was younger, that she would have slept with her mouth Sellotaped into a more attractive
arrangement to sort that out.
‘You’ve got such a suspicious nature, Mrs W!’ I said. ‘It’s all above board. Just a select handful of gifted and talented boys and girls learning the ancient art of
arguing. That’s pretty wholesome, isn’t it?’
She unbuttoned her lip to say, ‘It will need organising.’
‘I can organise.’
Mrs Webber looked pointedly at the contents of my bag which were still higgledy-piggledy on the table.
I fished out my Chemistry book from the sweet wrappers and misdemeanour slips. ‘See? This is exactly where I thought it would be.’
Mrs W leant forward and peeled off the remains of a marmite sandwich from the front cover.
I puffed out a breath of exasperation. ‘Well, I’m not going to be organising sandwiches, am I?’
‘I think you’ll find that teenagers require a lot more instruction than bread products.’
‘What? Honestly, you adults make such a fuss about looking after teenagers. All we really need is large amounts of cash and food.’
‘And someone to mop up afterwards.’ Mrs Webber helped herself to one of the Skittles in my bag pile. ‘I admire your commitment to extracurricular activities, Faith, but
you’ll have to find a teacher to help you run it. Why don’t you try the English department?’
‘Because they’re a load of self-obsessed, unpublished poets with questionable taste in shoes?’
‘Or you could talk to Miss Ramsbottom.’
As you know, I have always been very fond of the English department.
THURSDAY 26TH JANUARY
I met Finn in Juicy Lucy’s after school. I’d been thinking about what I said to the girls about how you have to be firm in your beliefs when talking to boys, so
I decided that I should discuss my firmest belief with Finn – the one where I believe that Finn should be my boyfriend. After a bit of preliminary chit-chat about whether Spider-Man would be
any good at surfing, I said, ‘So . . . we’ve been seeing each other a bit.’
Finn nodded.
‘I have a good time with you.’
‘I have a good time with you too, Faith. You’re always telling funny stories.’
‘Oh, thanks.’
‘Like the crazy vampire lady story you made up.’
I didn’t think it was the time to explain that while Miss Ramsbottom seems to be the stuff of horror films she is actually terrifyingly real, so I moved on.
‘Um . . .’ Which wasn’t the opening I’d rehearsed in my head. ‘I was thinking that maybe we should make it official.’
‘Official?’ His nose creased like he was afraid there was paperwork involved.
‘You know, like boyfriend and girlfriend.’
For a split second, I thought he was going to tell me that he was a free spirit and didn’t want to be tied down, but instead his face cracked into a smile and he said, ‘That would be
awesome.’
Which is pretty . . .
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