Read Online Just The Way You Are by Barbara Freethy - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Barbara Freethy
Tags: Contemporary
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out. She put a shaky hand to her mouth. "I don't want you."
"I thought we were going to forget."
"You shouldn't have kissed me."
"You shouldn't have kissed me back," he replied.
"Bad habit."
He nodded. Wasn't that the truth?
"Come by in an hour," she said more decisively. "I'll feed Megan before you get there, and I'll be home by ten."
"Do you want an apology, Alli?"
Her eyes met his. "That's the last thing I want, Sam. Don't you know that yet?"
----
Chapter 6
« ^ »
" I wish I knew what to say to you." Tessa scooted forward in the chair next to the hospital bed. She wanted to take Phoebe's hand, but she was afraid to touch her, because this pale, lifeless woman did not look anything like her vibrant grandmother.
"I guess I should tell you how things are going, if you can hear me. The nurse thinks you might like some conversation." Tessa took a deep breath, then continued. "I saw Sam and Alli today. I knew I would when I got on the plane to come back here. I don't know what I was expecting. They look the same, and yet they don't. Sam felt like my friend. Alli looked like my sister." She paused. "But the truth is—Sam isn't my friend, and Alli isn't my sister. I don't want to feel anything for them. It hurt so bad the last time we were all together. How can I go through that again?"
Tessa settled back in the chair and crossed her legs, wishing her grandmother could tell her everything would work out. Then she realized how selfish that sounded. Grams was fighting for her life, and Tessa was worrying about an old love affair Maybe she really was as shallow as Alli had said.
Disturbed by her thoughts, she got to her feet and paced around the small room, which was sterile and frightening. Tessa hated the smells of medicine and disinfectant, the sounds of beeps and bells. She especially hated the nurses who were laughing in the hall like everything was fine, when there were people who couldn't laugh, who couldn't speak, who weren't fine.
"I don't want you to be here, Grams," she said, returning to the side of her grandmother's bed. "I want things to be the way they were."
Tessa's vision blurred with a sudden rush of tears. She couldn't cry. Models didn't cry, not ever. It was bad for the eyes, bad for the complexion. Crying made her human, and she wasn't supposed to be human, she was supposed to be super, extraordinary, out of this world. But right now she felt small and helpless.
Reaching for a box of tissues, Tessa deliberately blew her nose and wiped her eyes, just the way her grandmother had done after they'd buried Tessa's parents and gotten on with their lives.
"I'm going to get through this and so are you," Tessa said, resuming her seat. "I did meet Megan today. She's just as beautiful and smart and funny as you said. And she might have been the only one who was actually happy to see me arrive. Sam looked—shocked when he saw me, and wary. I don't remember him being so careful with his words, so quiet. And Alli was angry, guilty … I don't know. Sam says she has grown up. Maybe she has. It doesn't matter. We might be sisters in blood, but there isn't anything else there. Sometimes that's the way it is with sisters."
Tessa let out a sigh. "I really wish this hadn't happened to you, that we were sitting on a lounger on a beach somewhere sipping those piña coladas that you like so much. I wish I could hear you laughing and see you doing those crossword puzzles that drive you crazy or digging in your garden. I've never seen anyone who enjoyed being dirty as much as you do. I can't remember when I last had dirt under my fingernails.
"I hate this, Grams," she said with desperation. "I don't want you to be sick. I need you to tell me everything will be okay, just like when I was a kid. Please, Grams, can't you just tell me that? You remember how it goes: 'I can't die yet, honey, because I haven't finished counting the stars—'" Tessa's breath caught in her throat as her grandmother's eyelids began to
"I thought we were going to forget."
"You shouldn't have kissed me."
"You shouldn't have kissed me back," he replied.
"Bad habit."
He nodded. Wasn't that the truth?
"Come by in an hour," she said more decisively. "I'll feed Megan before you get there, and I'll be home by ten."
"Do you want an apology, Alli?"
Her eyes met his. "That's the last thing I want, Sam. Don't you know that yet?"
----
Chapter 6
« ^ »
" I wish I knew what to say to you." Tessa scooted forward in the chair next to the hospital bed. She wanted to take Phoebe's hand, but she was afraid to touch her, because this pale, lifeless woman did not look anything like her vibrant grandmother.
"I guess I should tell you how things are going, if you can hear me. The nurse thinks you might like some conversation." Tessa took a deep breath, then continued. "I saw Sam and Alli today. I knew I would when I got on the plane to come back here. I don't know what I was expecting. They look the same, and yet they don't. Sam felt like my friend. Alli looked like my sister." She paused. "But the truth is—Sam isn't my friend, and Alli isn't my sister. I don't want to feel anything for them. It hurt so bad the last time we were all together. How can I go through that again?"
Tessa settled back in the chair and crossed her legs, wishing her grandmother could tell her everything would work out. Then she realized how selfish that sounded. Grams was fighting for her life, and Tessa was worrying about an old love affair Maybe she really was as shallow as Alli had said.
Disturbed by her thoughts, she got to her feet and paced around the small room, which was sterile and frightening. Tessa hated the smells of medicine and disinfectant, the sounds of beeps and bells. She especially hated the nurses who were laughing in the hall like everything was fine, when there were people who couldn't laugh, who couldn't speak, who weren't fine.
"I don't want you to be here, Grams," she said, returning to the side of her grandmother's bed. "I want things to be the way they were."
Tessa's vision blurred with a sudden rush of tears. She couldn't cry. Models didn't cry, not ever. It was bad for the eyes, bad for the complexion. Crying made her human, and she wasn't supposed to be human, she was supposed to be super, extraordinary, out of this world. But right now she felt small and helpless.
Reaching for a box of tissues, Tessa deliberately blew her nose and wiped her eyes, just the way her grandmother had done after they'd buried Tessa's parents and gotten on with their lives.
"I'm going to get through this and so are you," Tessa said, resuming her seat. "I did meet Megan today. She's just as beautiful and smart and funny as you said. And she might have been the only one who was actually happy to see me arrive. Sam looked—shocked when he saw me, and wary. I don't remember him being so careful with his words, so quiet. And Alli was angry, guilty … I don't know. Sam says she has grown up. Maybe she has. It doesn't matter. We might be sisters in blood, but there isn't anything else there. Sometimes that's the way it is with sisters."
Tessa let out a sigh. "I really wish this hadn't happened to you, that we were sitting on a lounger on a beach somewhere sipping those piña coladas that you like so much. I wish I could hear you laughing and see you doing those crossword puzzles that drive you crazy or digging in your garden. I've never seen anyone who enjoyed being dirty as much as you do. I can't remember when I last had dirt under my fingernails.
"I hate this, Grams," she said with desperation. "I don't want you to be sick. I need you to tell me everything will be okay, just like when I was a kid. Please, Grams, can't you just tell me that? You remember how it goes: 'I can't die yet, honey, because I haven't finished counting the stars—'" Tessa's breath caught in her throat as her grandmother's eyelids began to
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