Read Online Just a Little Sincerity by Tracie Puckett - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Tracie Puckett
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moments. The grave was small and decorated, nestled at the back corner edge of the cemetery just below the shade of a nearby oak tree. A rickety wooden fence separated the cemetery from the thick forest on the neighboring plot of land. Leaves cascaded from the giant oak as the wind picked up.
The air was frigid, and yet here I sat, freezing as I talked to no one who could actually hear me.
“I’m sorry I haven’t come to visit,” I said, keeping a firm grasp on the grass beside me. “I could lie and say I’ve been busy…. Truth is… I’ve been putting this off for as long as possible.”
My cheeks burned as the wind gained momentum; it whistled as it taunted my golden locks and forced the orange leaves off the ground into a free-flowing dance. It was beautiful; and even now, through all my emotions, I appreciated the beauty of nature’s simplicity.
“I’m sorry. I’m all over the place today. It’s just that… there are so many things I regret never saying to you,” I said, watching the leaves follow the current back to the ground. “And I don’t really know where to start.” I bit my lip to fight back a sob that lingered deep in my throat, but the emotion fought to overcome me. “I really hope you know how much I love you… and how much I truly miss you.”
I closed my eyes, letting the extra weight of my eyelids force the pent-up tears down my cheeks.
“Every day,” I said, recognizing the weakness in my voice as tears glossed over my eyes. “I wonder what our lives would have been like if you were still here. Would it be easier? Maybe, if you hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t be stuck in this place… this constant game of back and forth, wondering how I went from sitting on top of the world to losing everything I ever loved.”
Tears spilled over the rim of my eyes. I watched as my warm breath turned to fog in front of my face with each jagged breath I exhaled. I wiped my tears away with the backside of my glove and pulled my knees to my chest.
“I don’t know how the afterlife works,” I said, still fighting to bite back the tears. “Maybe you can hear me now, maybe you can’t. But if you’re listening, I just want you to know that I’m okay. I’m not great; I’m not even close. I’m just… okay . And I only came here today because I wanted to tell you… again, in case you’re listening… I haven’t forgotten about you. I still miss you… and there’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t give to be in your arms again… if only for a second.”
I rested my chin on my knees and hugged myself tighter. The tears felt like frozen drops of ice on my cheeks, but I couldn’t bring myself to wipe them away.
“I have somewhere I have to be now,” I whispered. I rolled forward on my knees and knelt before the headstone, running my fingers across the engraved letters. “I love you,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to the smooth granite. “I’ll never forget what you did for me.”
Saturday October 27, 8:00pm
“What are you supposed to be?” I asked, staring at my cousin with wide eyes.
Matt’s gray shirt and jeans were smeared with dirt, ripped and torn, and covered with dry blood. Bloodied scrapes, wounds, and scars—all made from wax and make-up— masked his typically flawless face.
“The living dead,” he said, opening his mouth to expose his dirt-stained teeth.
“That’s disgusting—”
“Why thank you, Your Highness,” he mocked, bowing before me.
I smoothed the lace gloves and adjusted my tiara before turning full circle to let the beautiful, white gown sweep the ground.
The party was off to quite a start. Charlie had invited everyone in the neighborhood to his annual Halloween costume party. He’d supplied every kind of food and snack imaginable, karaoke entertainment on the front porch, outdoor games in the yard, and a bonfire at the back edge of the property. As always, Matt took his costume far too seriously. And this year, I was determined to strip him
The air was frigid, and yet here I sat, freezing as I talked to no one who could actually hear me.
“I’m sorry I haven’t come to visit,” I said, keeping a firm grasp on the grass beside me. “I could lie and say I’ve been busy…. Truth is… I’ve been putting this off for as long as possible.”
My cheeks burned as the wind gained momentum; it whistled as it taunted my golden locks and forced the orange leaves off the ground into a free-flowing dance. It was beautiful; and even now, through all my emotions, I appreciated the beauty of nature’s simplicity.
“I’m sorry. I’m all over the place today. It’s just that… there are so many things I regret never saying to you,” I said, watching the leaves follow the current back to the ground. “And I don’t really know where to start.” I bit my lip to fight back a sob that lingered deep in my throat, but the emotion fought to overcome me. “I really hope you know how much I love you… and how much I truly miss you.”
I closed my eyes, letting the extra weight of my eyelids force the pent-up tears down my cheeks.
“Every day,” I said, recognizing the weakness in my voice as tears glossed over my eyes. “I wonder what our lives would have been like if you were still here. Would it be easier? Maybe, if you hadn’t left me, I wouldn’t be stuck in this place… this constant game of back and forth, wondering how I went from sitting on top of the world to losing everything I ever loved.”
Tears spilled over the rim of my eyes. I watched as my warm breath turned to fog in front of my face with each jagged breath I exhaled. I wiped my tears away with the backside of my glove and pulled my knees to my chest.
“I don’t know how the afterlife works,” I said, still fighting to bite back the tears. “Maybe you can hear me now, maybe you can’t. But if you’re listening, I just want you to know that I’m okay. I’m not great; I’m not even close. I’m just… okay . And I only came here today because I wanted to tell you… again, in case you’re listening… I haven’t forgotten about you. I still miss you… and there’s nothing in the world I wouldn’t give to be in your arms again… if only for a second.”
I rested my chin on my knees and hugged myself tighter. The tears felt like frozen drops of ice on my cheeks, but I couldn’t bring myself to wipe them away.
“I have somewhere I have to be now,” I whispered. I rolled forward on my knees and knelt before the headstone, running my fingers across the engraved letters. “I love you,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to the smooth granite. “I’ll never forget what you did for me.”
Saturday October 27, 8:00pm
“What are you supposed to be?” I asked, staring at my cousin with wide eyes.
Matt’s gray shirt and jeans were smeared with dirt, ripped and torn, and covered with dry blood. Bloodied scrapes, wounds, and scars—all made from wax and make-up— masked his typically flawless face.
“The living dead,” he said, opening his mouth to expose his dirt-stained teeth.
“That’s disgusting—”
“Why thank you, Your Highness,” he mocked, bowing before me.
I smoothed the lace gloves and adjusted my tiara before turning full circle to let the beautiful, white gown sweep the ground.
The party was off to quite a start. Charlie had invited everyone in the neighborhood to his annual Halloween costume party. He’d supplied every kind of food and snack imaginable, karaoke entertainment on the front porch, outdoor games in the yard, and a bonfire at the back edge of the property. As always, Matt took his costume far too seriously. And this year, I was determined to strip him
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