realize how disrespectful it is when you disobey me, or how others perceive it and lose respect for me also—” “Nay, that is not so!”
“Unfortunately it is, Mili. If a man cannot control his own daughter, how can he expect to command men or have their respect? Not once have you ever done as you were told. Well, I am asking something of you this one last time, ere you leave my house for good. Honor this contract that was made for you in good faith, and that does you such honor. Do this for me if not for yourself.”
How could she refuse? Yet how could she willingly condemn herself to marriage with a man she truly did not like?
Her dilemma must have been obvious, because Nigel added, “You need not wed him on the morrow. Will a time to know him help? A month, mayhap, when you can come to see that he will indeed make you a good husband?”
“And if that is not my conclusion after a month’s time?” she asked.
Nigel sighed. “I know you, daughter. You have an uncommon stubbornness. Can you set that aside and try this afresh? Can you be fair and truly give him a chance to change your mind about him?”
Could she? Feelings were hard to ignore, especially when they were so powerful. She could not honestly answer him, and said so. “I do not know.”
He smiled, if only slightly. “That is at least better than a nay.”
“And if I can never like him?”
“If I know you have tried, really tried … well, we will see.”
That was small hope to offer her, but she was afraid it was the only offer she would be getting from him, as set as he was on this joining.
Nine
Milisant went down
to the kitchen after leaving her father, not because she was still hungry but only because that was what she had intended to do. She had utterly lost her appetite, not surprising when she now had so much bile churning around in her belly.
In fact, she found herself standing in the center of the kitchen with no idea why she was there. She did not even recall walking there, so full was her mind with what she had more or less promised to do.
Give him a chance? Had she really agreed to do that? When she already knew what he was like? Boys did not outgrow their natural tendencies when they were men. She’d seen the proof of that this very morn, for Wulfric’s tendency was still to lash out with his superior strength, and woe betide the one he should wield it against.
“So this is where you didst hide all day?” Milisant whirled around, incredulous. He was standing there in the doorway, filling it with hisgreat size. The room was warm with the many ovens banked for the night, but dimly lit, making his large figure all the more ominous, his shoulder-length hair blackest black, his blue eyes shadowed so that they appeared black as well. It was the broad shoulders, though, and the thick arms, that made him so menacing.
Roland was taller, maybe half a foot taller than Wulfric, a true giant like his father, yet he did not inspire fear in her. She hated that this man could make her afraid when she was usually so bold. It was the pain he had put her through in her youth—it had to be only that and the vivid memory of it, yet that was enough to make her tense and near tremble in his presence.
She was to give him a chance to prove he was worthy of her regard? Sweet Mary, how could she do that? He paralyzed her. The only time she hadn’t feared him today was when she’d shouted at him this morn, and only because she had been so furious with him for not chasing after those men. Anger had been the buffer that had let her deal with him. But she could not use that as a defense, not if she was to do as her father had asked.
“Are we adding selective hearing to the list?” he said into the silence that had greeted his first question.
Milisant stiffened. “A list of my faults? Aye, add it, for it does sound like a good one. And nay, I was not hiding here. But what do you here? Were you not fed today?”
“I had no stomach for food
“Unfortunately it is, Mili. If a man cannot control his own daughter, how can he expect to command men or have their respect? Not once have you ever done as you were told. Well, I am asking something of you this one last time, ere you leave my house for good. Honor this contract that was made for you in good faith, and that does you such honor. Do this for me if not for yourself.”
How could she refuse? Yet how could she willingly condemn herself to marriage with a man she truly did not like?
Her dilemma must have been obvious, because Nigel added, “You need not wed him on the morrow. Will a time to know him help? A month, mayhap, when you can come to see that he will indeed make you a good husband?”
“And if that is not my conclusion after a month’s time?” she asked.
Nigel sighed. “I know you, daughter. You have an uncommon stubbornness. Can you set that aside and try this afresh? Can you be fair and truly give him a chance to change your mind about him?”
Could she? Feelings were hard to ignore, especially when they were so powerful. She could not honestly answer him, and said so. “I do not know.”
He smiled, if only slightly. “That is at least better than a nay.”
“And if I can never like him?”
“If I know you have tried, really tried … well, we will see.”
That was small hope to offer her, but she was afraid it was the only offer she would be getting from him, as set as he was on this joining.
Nine
Milisant went down
to the kitchen after leaving her father, not because she was still hungry but only because that was what she had intended to do. She had utterly lost her appetite, not surprising when she now had so much bile churning around in her belly.
In fact, she found herself standing in the center of the kitchen with no idea why she was there. She did not even recall walking there, so full was her mind with what she had more or less promised to do.
Give him a chance? Had she really agreed to do that? When she already knew what he was like? Boys did not outgrow their natural tendencies when they were men. She’d seen the proof of that this very morn, for Wulfric’s tendency was still to lash out with his superior strength, and woe betide the one he should wield it against.
“So this is where you didst hide all day?” Milisant whirled around, incredulous. He was standing there in the doorway, filling it with hisgreat size. The room was warm with the many ovens banked for the night, but dimly lit, making his large figure all the more ominous, his shoulder-length hair blackest black, his blue eyes shadowed so that they appeared black as well. It was the broad shoulders, though, and the thick arms, that made him so menacing.
Roland was taller, maybe half a foot taller than Wulfric, a true giant like his father, yet he did not inspire fear in her. She hated that this man could make her afraid when she was usually so bold. It was the pain he had put her through in her youth—it had to be only that and the vivid memory of it, yet that was enough to make her tense and near tremble in his presence.
She was to give him a chance to prove he was worthy of her regard? Sweet Mary, how could she do that? He paralyzed her. The only time she hadn’t feared him today was when she’d shouted at him this morn, and only because she had been so furious with him for not chasing after those men. Anger had been the buffer that had let her deal with him. But she could not use that as a defense, not if she was to do as her father had asked.
“Are we adding selective hearing to the list?” he said into the silence that had greeted his first question.
Milisant stiffened. “A list of my faults? Aye, add it, for it does sound like a good one. And nay, I was not hiding here. But what do you here? Were you not fed today?”
“I had no stomach for food
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