handle on things. The part that hurt her the most was
that this had been completely avoidable. Davis was a smart kid, she knew he
was. Smart enough to pass the third grade if he’d wanted to. But, as much as
she tried to defend him, she knew that he had behavior issues.
It hurt Mina to think her son didn’t
care enough about her to try and make things easier for her, but she also
blamed herself. She was the one who had made a crappy choice in men, ended up a
single mother, her son fatherless. Over the past nine years Davis had helped
her in coming to the conclusion that little boys needed their fathers.
Mina had given him everything, but she couldn’t give him that.
Somehow, she had made it through the
days of his infancy all by herself, and his little brother’s as well. There was
many a night when she would put the boys to bed and cry her eyes out into a
pillow. She would pull out a hidden box of cigarettes, go out onto the balcony
of their small apartment, and chain smoke until her throat burned. Any way you
cut it, she had a hard life.
She consoled herself with the notion
that things would get easier as the boys got older and more independent. She
laughed when she thought about that now. How young-minded she’d been. How
naïve.
In reality, though, it was all so worth
it. She lived and breathed for her sons. Everything she did, every decision she
made, was to give them a better life. They had given her a real purpose. If all
she ever accomplished was to be the best mother she could, then she was just
fine with that. But some days it was hard. So damned hard.
Things were getting better, though. She
had a good-paying waitressing job and was in her last semester of college at
UMMS. In less than a month and a half she would have her bachelor’s degree in
chemistry, and her friend on the police force had a forensics job lined up for
her after she graduated. All in all, despite Davis’ recent behavior, things had
been going well.
It was about time too, because she had
worked so hard to get here. She’d had to go on welfare twice, and spend every
moment of her time either at work, school or home with the kids, but she had
done it. Thinking about all of it made her want to slap her son upside his
head. It was always something.
“Where are we going?” Davis asked.
“To pick up your little brother.”
“Are you mad at me?”
Mina ran her hand across her forehead
again. She sighed. “I’m disappointed, Davis. Did you even think about how hard
you were making it on me by getting kicked out of school for the rest of year?
I have school too, and work. I need those free hours when you’re in school. I
don’t know what I’m going to do for the next month and a half until school is
out. I can’t afford a babysitter.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Davis
replied. “I can watch myself.”
Mina felt like laughing in her son’s
face for that suggestion, but this wasn’t in the least bit funny. “Watch
yourself? Davis, you obviously don’t know how to behave when under supervision.
You think I could trust you to stay by yourself? Not likely.”
Mina pulled her SUV up to the front of
the pre-kindergarten building and put the car in park. “Wait here,” she told
Davis.
A few minutes later she had her youngest
boy, Dominic, buckled in his car seat. The four year old kicked the back of her
seat as she drove them all home. “Mommy?” he said.
Mina smiled at him in the rearview
mirror. “Hmm?”
Dominic returned a huge grin. It made
Mina feel better just to see it. “Today I got a star by my name for saying the
whole ABC’s without messing up,” the boy said.
“That’s wonderful, Dominic. I’m very
proud of you. You’re a smart boy.”
“Are we going to see Dad this weekend?”
Davis asked.
Mina kept her eyes on the road. She knew
the boys needed a father figure, and she could certainly use the help, but
their ‘dad’ was good for nothing. He only showed up when he found it
convenient,
that this had been completely avoidable. Davis was a smart kid, she knew he
was. Smart enough to pass the third grade if he’d wanted to. But, as much as
she tried to defend him, she knew that he had behavior issues.
It hurt Mina to think her son didn’t
care enough about her to try and make things easier for her, but she also
blamed herself. She was the one who had made a crappy choice in men, ended up a
single mother, her son fatherless. Over the past nine years Davis had helped
her in coming to the conclusion that little boys needed their fathers.
Mina had given him everything, but she couldn’t give him that.
Somehow, she had made it through the
days of his infancy all by herself, and his little brother’s as well. There was
many a night when she would put the boys to bed and cry her eyes out into a
pillow. She would pull out a hidden box of cigarettes, go out onto the balcony
of their small apartment, and chain smoke until her throat burned. Any way you
cut it, she had a hard life.
She consoled herself with the notion
that things would get easier as the boys got older and more independent. She
laughed when she thought about that now. How young-minded she’d been. How
naïve.
In reality, though, it was all so worth
it. She lived and breathed for her sons. Everything she did, every decision she
made, was to give them a better life. They had given her a real purpose. If all
she ever accomplished was to be the best mother she could, then she was just
fine with that. But some days it was hard. So damned hard.
Things were getting better, though. She
had a good-paying waitressing job and was in her last semester of college at
UMMS. In less than a month and a half she would have her bachelor’s degree in
chemistry, and her friend on the police force had a forensics job lined up for
her after she graduated. All in all, despite Davis’ recent behavior, things had
been going well.
It was about time too, because she had
worked so hard to get here. She’d had to go on welfare twice, and spend every
moment of her time either at work, school or home with the kids, but she had
done it. Thinking about all of it made her want to slap her son upside his
head. It was always something.
“Where are we going?” Davis asked.
“To pick up your little brother.”
“Are you mad at me?”
Mina ran her hand across her forehead
again. She sighed. “I’m disappointed, Davis. Did you even think about how hard
you were making it on me by getting kicked out of school for the rest of year?
I have school too, and work. I need those free hours when you’re in school. I
don’t know what I’m going to do for the next month and a half until school is
out. I can’t afford a babysitter.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Davis
replied. “I can watch myself.”
Mina felt like laughing in her son’s
face for that suggestion, but this wasn’t in the least bit funny. “Watch
yourself? Davis, you obviously don’t know how to behave when under supervision.
You think I could trust you to stay by yourself? Not likely.”
Mina pulled her SUV up to the front of
the pre-kindergarten building and put the car in park. “Wait here,” she told
Davis.
A few minutes later she had her youngest
boy, Dominic, buckled in his car seat. The four year old kicked the back of her
seat as she drove them all home. “Mommy?” he said.
Mina smiled at him in the rearview
mirror. “Hmm?”
Dominic returned a huge grin. It made
Mina feel better just to see it. “Today I got a star by my name for saying the
whole ABC’s without messing up,” the boy said.
“That’s wonderful, Dominic. I’m very
proud of you. You’re a smart boy.”
“Are we going to see Dad this weekend?”
Davis asked.
Mina kept her eyes on the road. She knew
the boys needed a father figure, and she could certainly use the help, but
their ‘dad’ was good for nothing. He only showed up when he found it
convenient,
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