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Authors: Maryann Jordan
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obituary popped up. “Man, I’m sorry, but her dad died about four years ago.”
“Does it say how?”
“Says after a year-long battle with cancer.”
“Ah, fuck. That means he was probably diagnosed right about the time that I broke up with her. Goddamnit!” he cursed.
Tony walked in just at that moment, taking the scene in. “What’s going on?”
Jobe turned, rage on his face and bit out, “Her dad was diagnosed with cancer about the time I broke up with her and then died a year later. I had no fucking idea because I was so fucked up with my ideals of honor and duty!”
Looking at the men standing around BJ’s computer, Tony then focused on Jobe. “My office. Now.”
Used to following commands, Jobe walked behind Tony into his office taking the chair indicated. Gabe and Vinny entered as well. Tony eyed them as he walked behind his desk. Looking over at Jobe, he lifted his eyebrow in silent questioning.
Jobe nodded his acquiescence. “We’re all brothers, Captain. It’s fine if they stay.”
Tony motioned for the twins to come in and they quickly took seats. Looking at Jobe, he said, “Talk to us.”
Jobe ran his hand over his face. “Guys, we just talked about this last night. I know what I’ve got to do, but finding out about her dad just ripped me.”
“Yes, we did just talk about his last night,” Tony agreed, “But part of your ongoing PTSD counseling is talking to us when you feel overwhelmed.”
Jobe thought about his symptoms for a moment. Every case is different, but he had not found many in his situation during the counseling groups he had attended over the years. He rarely suffered a nightmare, although occasionally he would have the sharp memory pierce his consciousness. While others were no longer able to hold down employment, he threw himself into the missions while still in the Army and now working for Tony he gave one-hundred percent every day. He was controlled enough to keep himself away from overindulging in alcohol, risky behavior, or even promiscuousness. He kept himself physically fit and mentally sharp, almost to an excess. And these three men knew that better than anyone.
Taking a deep breath, Jobe began talking to the brothers-in-arms that were there. That understood. That cared.
“Somehow I told myself that she’d be better off without me, because I couldn’t give the team what it needed, try to be there emotionally for my sisters and parents who were going through their own problems, and plan a future with her. At that time, I saw no future.”
“And now?” Tony prodded.
“I work hard, but I’m no longer seeing it as the only way to get through the day. I exercise, but no longer until I drop. I talk to my sisters but realize that I can’t keep them in a bubble and safe every second of the day. Hell, Hannah was assaulted but has dealt with it the best she can. She’s happily married and has two kids. So yeah, I feel like I’m much better.”
They sat in silence for a moment, until he continued. “But how do I explain to the woman I loved, that I just simply fell apart for a while. I went nuts, ripped up her letters, and threw myself into my job at the expense of our relationship? It made fucking sense when I did it. Hell, it made fucking sense when we talked last night. But now, knowing that when she was trying to reach out to me, her dad was dying and I just ignored her. Maybe the best thing is to take myself off of the job, Tony, and leave her in peace.”
Vinny eyed his friend and said, “I never believed in one woman for one man. That shit seemed like something from a Disney movie and we sure as hell know our lives weren’t Disney movies. But when I saw Tony and Sherrie together, I knew that was something special. Different. And when Gabe got with Jennifer? Fuck, any of us could see what that was. And me? Annalissa is everything I never thought I would want and never thought I could have. But she’s it. Do you get what I’m saying?”
Jobe
“Does it say how?”
“Says after a year-long battle with cancer.”
“Ah, fuck. That means he was probably diagnosed right about the time that I broke up with her. Goddamnit!” he cursed.
Tony walked in just at that moment, taking the scene in. “What’s going on?”
Jobe turned, rage on his face and bit out, “Her dad was diagnosed with cancer about the time I broke up with her and then died a year later. I had no fucking idea because I was so fucked up with my ideals of honor and duty!”
Looking at the men standing around BJ’s computer, Tony then focused on Jobe. “My office. Now.”
Used to following commands, Jobe walked behind Tony into his office taking the chair indicated. Gabe and Vinny entered as well. Tony eyed them as he walked behind his desk. Looking over at Jobe, he lifted his eyebrow in silent questioning.
Jobe nodded his acquiescence. “We’re all brothers, Captain. It’s fine if they stay.”
Tony motioned for the twins to come in and they quickly took seats. Looking at Jobe, he said, “Talk to us.”
Jobe ran his hand over his face. “Guys, we just talked about this last night. I know what I’ve got to do, but finding out about her dad just ripped me.”
“Yes, we did just talk about his last night,” Tony agreed, “But part of your ongoing PTSD counseling is talking to us when you feel overwhelmed.”
Jobe thought about his symptoms for a moment. Every case is different, but he had not found many in his situation during the counseling groups he had attended over the years. He rarely suffered a nightmare, although occasionally he would have the sharp memory pierce his consciousness. While others were no longer able to hold down employment, he threw himself into the missions while still in the Army and now working for Tony he gave one-hundred percent every day. He was controlled enough to keep himself away from overindulging in alcohol, risky behavior, or even promiscuousness. He kept himself physically fit and mentally sharp, almost to an excess. And these three men knew that better than anyone.
Taking a deep breath, Jobe began talking to the brothers-in-arms that were there. That understood. That cared.
“Somehow I told myself that she’d be better off without me, because I couldn’t give the team what it needed, try to be there emotionally for my sisters and parents who were going through their own problems, and plan a future with her. At that time, I saw no future.”
“And now?” Tony prodded.
“I work hard, but I’m no longer seeing it as the only way to get through the day. I exercise, but no longer until I drop. I talk to my sisters but realize that I can’t keep them in a bubble and safe every second of the day. Hell, Hannah was assaulted but has dealt with it the best she can. She’s happily married and has two kids. So yeah, I feel like I’m much better.”
They sat in silence for a moment, until he continued. “But how do I explain to the woman I loved, that I just simply fell apart for a while. I went nuts, ripped up her letters, and threw myself into my job at the expense of our relationship? It made fucking sense when I did it. Hell, it made fucking sense when we talked last night. But now, knowing that when she was trying to reach out to me, her dad was dying and I just ignored her. Maybe the best thing is to take myself off of the job, Tony, and leave her in peace.”
Vinny eyed his friend and said, “I never believed in one woman for one man. That shit seemed like something from a Disney movie and we sure as hell know our lives weren’t Disney movies. But when I saw Tony and Sherrie together, I knew that was something special. Different. And when Gabe got with Jennifer? Fuck, any of us could see what that was. And me? Annalissa is everything I never thought I would want and never thought I could have. But she’s it. Do you get what I’m saying?”
Jobe
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